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At the animal shelter I have to be very careful about cross contamination cause there's sick cats and cats that aren't so if I'm going between those areas and interacting with the cats I have to be so careful. You'd think id be so good at this cause I've mastered cross contamination in my everyday life cause I'm a nut but actually it just makes me feel like paralysed and like I don't want to visit the cats cause I'm scared I'm gonna get them sick even if I do everything right IDK

I want. To showerr so I feel awake 👀 and clean 🫧 but I'm at the animal shelter today so I'll probably get covered in all types of germs. As soon as I get home I strip and shower I treat myself like a huge contaminated germ. so what I'm tossed up about is like it's a waste of a shower cause I'll showerr when I get home anyway but I feel yuckyyyyy I don't knowwww

I keep telling myself just sleep it off, tomorrows a new day. But every new day I wake up fucking crazy fighting flashbacks

I hope I don't make it

And I came off my medication the day before I decided to drink and snort Ritalin for 2 days with no sleep so yeahhhh. The consequences,

This is why I go on benders for days btw . My mind needs copious amounts of alcohol and drugs so I'm pacified. I've been sober for 8 days so IM ANGRYYYYY hahahahahahhahahaha

We need a song like Charli xcx - I think about it all the time but instead of being about having children it's about wanting to kill people but you know it's frowned upon so you probably shouldn't

This is why Ariana grande is my best friend in my mind. We are both insecure cancers who love home wrecking

I went Off on a tangent but the point is I'm sick of ugly people. Their jealousy sickens me