Sorry About the Mess...

JARVIS' brand-new projected form flickered to life beside him at the counter. That was just one more thing Tony had yet to grow accustomed to: his beloved AI assistant taking on the appearance of his childhood butler.

A very convincing facsimile of irritation drew the AI’s transparent blue brows together. "Miss Martel is inundating me with requests for crispy bacon, pancakes and 15 weight oil. Might I suggest gently rousing her from sleep?"

Tony chuckled into his mug of coffee. He had planned to let his soulmate sleep in that morning, but apparently her mutant abilities had their own agenda. "On it, buddy. Time to work on turning the master bedroom into one oversized Faraday Cage."

Something had to be done about her sleep-talking to JARVIS. It had only been a couple weeks since she moved into the Malibu mansion, but her harassment of Tony’s personal AI hadn't showed any signs of slowing down.

JARVIS solemnly nodded in agreement. "While you're at it, perhaps one for Dum-E and U as a sort of time-out kennel would be beneficial?"

"Growing jealous of your older brothers, are you, J?" Tony raised a brow, giving the projection a judgmental side-eye. “Maybe we should adjust your projection to glow green instead.” 

JARVIS returned his attitude with a fed-up look, complete with a tight-lipped frown. "You know just as well as I that I am incapable of experiencing such things."

While JARVIS was technically correct -- emotions were never a part of his programming -- recent events and interactions with Tiffany had Tony questioning what J really was capable of. The AI's sudden desire to make his presence known visually was unexpected and completely unprompted. 

Evolution, it seemed, was not only for organic life forms.

"One thing at a time, J. If I have to wake Peaches up, I better go in prepared," Tony carefully selected a mug from the cupboard, then turned back to JARVIS' glowing blue projection. "Hot coffee, with an obscene amount of sugar."

"An acceptable offering to start. I've taken the liberty of ordering the bacon and pancakes, but I believe maple syrup would be entirely more palatable than motor oil," JARVIS said dryly.

"Good call, buddy," Tony replied, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips while he stirred three entire spoonfuls of sugar into Tiff's coffee. "Give us some privacy until it arrives?"

"Gladly."

Was it Tony's imagination or did JARVIS actually roll his eyes before his projection fizzled out abruptly? He squinted for a moment at the empty space before shrugging and returning to the task at hand.

Tony walked up the stairs to the bedroom with Tiff's favorite mug warming his hands. Standing in the entrance for a moment, he watched her slow, even breaths, reminding himself that she really was there in his bed. 

His soulmate.

The one he was convinced he didn't deserve, and that she would be better off without him.

It took almost losing her to realize that he needed her. And now, only a few months after they decided to give this soulmate thing a try, he refused to imagine his life without her.

She was a rumpled vision before him. Despite the morning sunlight filling the room, she was fast asleep, laying on her stomach with her head facing Tony's empty side of the bed. The blanket had somehow wound its way around her right leg while her left was uncovered so that he could see those ridiculous neon orange shorts she wore as pajamas. Tony snickered, noting how she didn't look remotely comfortable, her head wasn't even on the pillow! 

Approaching quietly, Tony set the mug on his nightstand and climbed onto the bed. "Honey?" he whispered, not wanting to startle her. 

She didn't even flinch. 

"Peaches, sweetheart, you're spamming JARVIS againnn," he sang out softly.

"Hrmph," Tiff grumbled, not opening her eyes.

Tony scooched in close to her, brushing her long, dark hair away from her face. "Wake up, Fanny," he teased, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and wrapping his arm around her waist.

Tiff's eyelids fluttered and she blinked a few times, glaring at him. "You know I hate that name," she muttered, yet she still returned his embrace, nuzzling against his chest. 

Oh, he knew. Tony grinned against her hair. "It was an emergency. I really don't need to have J inciting a robot revolution against us," he pulled back just enough to kiss her forehead. "You know you dream of some terribly inedible condiments."

"Oh god," Tiff groaned, her voice muffled by Tony's t-shirt. "I'm sorry, J!" she called out, looking at the ceiling mournfully.

"Save your apology for later. He can't hear you right now - I asked for privacy mode. We have until your pancakes arrive."

Tiff pulled back, her blue eyes sparkling in the morning light, her cheeks turning a delightful shade of red. "Bacon too?" she asked hopefully.

"Of course. Only the crispiest for you, honey. J put the order in himself."

"He's the best," Tiff gushed, smiling dreamily.

"Yeah, he does okay. Just don't forget who his daddy is," Tony reminded her, tracing his fingertips over the soulmark on the inside of her bicep.

"Don't be so sensitive," Tiff pressed her lips together, clearly holding back a smile at his exaggerated pout, "You know you're my favourite."

Tony leaned in, resting his forehead against hers. "I don't know, if I was your favorite, wouldn't you be sleep-talking to me? I could order you breakfast too, you know," he said, bumping their noses together.

“You’d actually have to be in bed for me to sleep-talk to you,” Tiff countered, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Fair point. How do you know I wasn’t already making you breakfast down there -” Tony began, ignoring Tiff’s snicker, “-and then you put in a completely different order with JARVIS and I had to scrape my hard work into the trash?” he finished, pulling back just enough to look her in the eye.

“I would say that, in that unlikely scenario, unless it was grilled cheese, the trash is exactly where your cooking belongs,” Tiff’s lips disappeared as she pulled them over her teeth, her face flaring bright red.

It was entirely unfair how beautiful Tiff looked when she teased him back. It was practically criminal how much he loved her for it. “That’s it,” Tony grumbled, narrowing his eyes playfully, “your talking privileges have been revoked.”

Before she could get more than a half-stifled giggle out, Tony captured her lips in a retaliatory kiss that felt more like a hard-earned reward when she threaded her fingers through his hair and kissed back.