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@tablewhiskey
No Love Like Self Love
Friend's GF: Do you like being single?
Me: That's an odd question, but yes. Do you like being in a relationship?
Friend's GF: Yeah, I do. Because I love your friend.
Me: Well, that works out then. Because I love myself.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I knew I overdid it that weekend because, on Monday, I had a beer with lunch and then treated myself to an afternoon vodka. My side started pulsating so I poured out the vodka. I watched it circle the drain like the end of 'Fun Alcoholism' and the start of 'Alcoholism Vanilla.' Great
Me
"I was shit-faced on vodka and ended up doing a duet of 'Let it Go' with my roommate's girlfriend. Neither of them seemed happy about this.
Me
Sex Drives and Narcissism
SETTING: Hungover at work, grappling with sex drives and narcissim.
Me: How did you like my selfie with that girl (who I have a crush on)?
Friend: It seemed like she was happy to be around you. I mean, maybe she’s not climbing on your dick, but seemed pretty friendly.
Me: Yeah. There's no way she wants to fuck me. We do get along, but I was thinking about it and we really aren't that alike.
Friend: A good conclusion to reach as opposed to not knowing.
Me: I guess. I'm still attracted to her, but I know we would make a shitty couple.
Friend: Well that’s something.
Me: God, I want to fuck her though. I guess it’s not all about me though, right?
Friend: #Progress
I love you, vodka. You taste so good and let me feel emotions.
Me
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Pickup Lines: what's your best (or worst)?
Setting: A bunch of guys drinking at the apartment of our lady friend, in the upper west side. We're drinking delicious beer.
Girl: Let me ask you guys a question: what was your best / worst pick-up line?
Me: Well, I don't know if this counts as a pick-up line, but I'm batting 500 for "Do you want to go have sex?"
Other guy (laughing):...really?
Me: I swear to God! One time it worked very well...and the other time it didn't.
Girl: Wow.
#MeatHangover
Alcohol hangovers I can handle. But meat hangovers? No thank you.
I feel like there's a full grown cow in my stomach trying to get out.
Drinking. No one said it would be easy.