Trich Balm

I've had a lazy morning today. Because it's the holidays and I don't have many hours at work this week, sometimes it's difficult to find the motivation to do the most basic things...so I sit with no concrete plans bored and pulling. This needs to change! There are plenty of things I could be getting on with to transform today from a nothing to a something so I'm going to actually complete my to do list the best I can! I'm trying to do things that will benefit me and make me feel good and this is a great place to start. It's time I start being as kind to myself as I am to others and really crush trich. It's my worst and longest lasting habit, it needs to go. So with that said I'm going to do a workout, stretch, and get my day on a roll!

As I write this I am aching, a lot. It is two days since leg day and arm day was yesterday. I went to a much larger gym than usual and didn't just focus on running...shocker. I did the same work outs as my boyfriend but with much lighter weights and I have to admit, the more I go, the better I feel. If you're working out properly you simply can't pull your hair. For me, I pull when I feel like I'm wasting time or underachieving, so when I'm at the gym I don't feel the need, plus, exercise makes me feel good so I pull less afterwards too. It's kind of a no brainier that I go regularly. I have also realised a couple of things, 1) People are too caught up with themselves to care what you're doing. 2) Not going to the gym because I feel embarrassed is the worst way to handle the situation. Yes, my weights are light, but they'll get heavier if I get a grip and go. Exercise is my number 1 tip for reducing trich urges and anxiety, so if you're struggling give it a shot! Love and good vibes, Tabitha x

Exam time is FINALLY over! Assessment period was intense this year...and long. My Trich wasn't great throughout this stressful time; I am kind of upset at the damage I have done, but these things happen! A couple of my friends dyed/ got their hair cut and they shared the opinion that 'it's just hair, it will grow back'. Whilst I was half envious of this mindset because things aren't as simple with Trich, it also reassured me - hair isn't everything. Having said that, I'm super excited (and relived) that summer is finally here and I can concentrate more on living a healthier lifestyle and creating new (good) habits! Annoyingly, I feel ill and gross right now but when I feel a bit better I will get back to running. For now I'm going to read some books I've been eyeing up all year and just chill for a bit! Love and good vibes, Tabitha x

In a bid to get back on track with my Trich I bought these two big pots of coconut oil. They were on offer, two for £10 which is pretty good value :) I sleep with this oil in my hair a couple of times a week and apply it when I feel triggered - it's pretty hard to pull with this on your hair! Love and good vibes, Tabitha x

It has been a few weeks since my second appointment now but I learned/ practised some useful tools to help with trich during it. There was a lot of emphasis on visualisation during the session. I was made to realise that either side of every triggered time are two none triggered times...sounds obvious, I know. I am now able to see trich slightly differently; each triggered period is like a separate, isolated event. Either side of the pulling is a time I feel good, or distracted from trich. Viewing trich in this way highlights how futile it is because I always regret any damage I cause and return to a happier and calmer place eventually. Trich is the nasty middle phase between two better times. I also had to think about how an ideal, normal day would unfold. Hopefully visualising this will help me realise what needs to change and how so. Stress in various areas of my life overwhelmed me for a while but I know that ultimately only I can change this. I have learned many ways of coping and managing trich and need to start enforcing these techniques again. It was far easier to combat trich over the mammoth summer holiday university allows; I find that recovery takes so much energy and motivation, it is hard to tackle whilst balancing everything else! Hopefully things will improve soon :) Love and good vibes, Tabitha x

Tabitha X

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Over the last 6 weeks, I have not looked after myself well…at all. I have been feeling very unwell and stressed, and when I feel grim, I feel triggered. It is now painfully obvious to me just how important self care is. It was stupid of me to ever think I could function properly whilst leading such an unhealthy lifestyle. I scraped by in a zombie-like state for the most part of a university semester before realising that it really wasn’t working out for me. I need the gym, I need yoga, I need greens (and if I’m feeling extra fancy: I need a bath bomb). Whilst I still have a mountain of work to complete over the holidays, taking breaks from revision and meditation are definitely a good idea. Wanting to pull my hair out and eating/ sleeping badly will not help me write an essay, nor will it aid my exam prep. Exercise has been amazing for my Trichotillomania, it makes me feel energised, in control, productive, and like I have achieved something. Winner winner. Looking after myself has been key to my progress with Trich, it was silly of me to let it slip but so easily done! I hope everyone is doing a better job of self-care than I have been! Love and good vibes, Tabitha x