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“Dude, keep it down before some girl comes up behind you and gives you a week of excruciating pain.”
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@t0mster
“ ‘Pretty sure one night of excruciating pain can cope up to a whole week of cramps, nausea and hormones. —–Lets not get into that augment. “
“Dude, keep it down before some girl comes up behind you and gives you a week of excruciating pain.”

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“–Forget about it, I’m running late.”
“I could give you a ride if you want, I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”
“Yes, I’m alive. No, you probably shouldn’t be happy to see that. Let’s just move the fuck on and discuss why you’re here, yeah?”
“Uh, I was just...concerned about your state of being, and kind of still am after that.”
“Because it was made that way and it’s not nice for us to mock it. The same reason why you’re so broodish.”
“Something about you just calls out, ‘I want a nickname, bless me with as many as you can’. Shit! Who calls you Tommy Boy? That’s hilarious.”
“I won’t mock it, but I might start a petition to shorten the names for the sake of saving my breathe maybe.”
“Can someone please tell me what that something is because I might change it. Uh, I mean the two most frequent people are definitely Mel and Caleb.”
Secret Agent Man ➜ Eris & Tom
“Okay, dude…you got some issues, don’t you? I guess it’s refreshing, you know. Because like, everyone talks about how girls are insecure but people rarely talk about guys’ insecurities. You really need people to like you, badly…were you fat or ugly when you were a kid?” she walked towards the kitchen counter, pouring a glass of soda for the officer. “I’m totally over that incident, by they way. Yes you were super rude and snappy but like, I guess we all have bad days” she handed Tom the glass, gesturing over to the couch. She pushed away a few items lying on the floor, trying to make the place look cleaner. “But if you insist on giving your best impression, who am I to deny it?” she rolled her eyes, sitting on the couch.
“I know. Poor us guys over here having to pretend like everything is absolutely okay when we’re probably just as insane. Human nature, gotta love it. I was neither fat or ugly, in fact I’m sure my mom would love to prove so with all my baby pictures. It’s just a pet peeve, I don’t think someone’s point is valid not to like me. Unless...you know, I’ve caught and arrested someone, then that’s a different story. Or is it since technically it could be the stepping stone of someone turning around there life...who knows.” Tom rambled on and on trying to defend himself even though most of it sounded like nonsense as he grabbed the glass. “Hey, you weren’t a saint yourself you know.” Tom reminded with a look as he sat down with her.

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“ Guys and girls like your uniform? you sure? “
“Yes, I’m sure. You’re just being stubborn.”
“Perhaps you can give me an example of your convincing?”
“My unconditional love.”
Matt ✉ Tom
Matt: Maybe that shall always remain a mystery between us
Matt: Sounds like a plan. You got it dude, free pizza. I'm not sure how i'm gonna make it happen, but it's gonna.
Matt: So now that you can confirm do I actually get to know who it is?
Tom: That's almost creepy
Tom: I could be 40 years old dude and you'd have no clue
Tom: It's a you problem
Tom: It's Celene, you probably have met her before.
“It is very concerning, good thing I don’t use my powers for evil, right? I’m 22 dude, I’m not young, just younger than you.”
“Dude, they’re always stealing things…don’t trust chipmunks. Yeah the whole dating business. I dunno…I guess I’m not desperate or anything. Lots of girls dig me, it’s not really a problem. Maybe it’s a good thing y’know. Work on myself and stuff. When I do want to get back in action you’ll be the first one I’ll call obviously. I’m actually not scared of blind dates, you ever been to one?
“I probably trust you around 89% of the time, not gonna lie. And you keep telling yourself that.”
“I might trust a chipmunk more than you at times....Oh I never believed otherwise when it comes to girls being into you. If you say so. Once, and it was a terrifying experience, so never after that.”
“I was with my family in Vermont. It was really lovely to see them, but I’m glad to be back. I heard things got pretty crazy while I was gone. You must have had a lot of work to do.”
“Right, right...well, I’m glad you’re back too. Uh, how exactly were you gone for? Just...curious.”
“You could say that. I mean, I certainly agree but a few town members do not. But hey, can’t please everyone.”

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text || tom & celene
Celene: 💕💕💕💕💕 thank you
Celene: no squirrel? well i guess i have other plans then
Celene: :)
Tom: ......don't make me lure in squirrels to my front porch just so I get to see your pretty face now.
flowers & sneezes | tom & celene
“You know I didn’t actually buy it till the other day. I was at the store and I happened to walk by it and I was like ‘you know what? I should buy these for him just in case.’ And look? They did come in handy,” she explained with a smile as she handed him her coffee so he could take some medicine. “Don’t go. I’m just kidding with you. Unless you need to go save the city or something with your cop super powers? Then by all means go. I don’t want to keep you from catching bad guys.” Celene turned her head towards the back room as she heard foot steps coming into the front of the shop. “Cel, honey, I can’t find the lavender ribbon–” Celene’s mother stated as she walked behind the counter. “Officer? Is everything okay?” Celene leaned down and grabbed a box of lavender ribbon and handed it to her mom. “Mom—everything is fine. This is Tom.” She then looked over to Tom and smiled, “Tom, this is my mother; Jasmine.”
“Yeah, since you knew I wouldn’t go out and actually buy it for myself actually purchase for it myself.” Tom chuckled while grabbing the coffee and took his medicine so he’d stop embarrassing himself. “Every superhero needs their lunch break. Actually in the movies that’s technically not true though...but then again cops supposedly eat a lot of donuts which us guys at the department wished was true...” Tom rambled on before quieting down when a stranger to him appeared behind the counter with Celene. Side by side Tom could already see the similar looks between the two. He offered a soft smile and extended his hand out. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, m’am.” Tom started off to say before his sinuses getting before him and caused him to sneeze into his elbow again, retreating his hand. His face was crinkled as he recovered from the sneeze before returning his attention back to the other two. “There are definitely better circumstances to meet you but I just happened to be a sneezing mess. Sorry,” Tom spoke with a light and nervous laugh with his obviously red nose somewhat sniffling.
“ Pink gel manicure with glitter? If you want. It would bring a pop of colour to your bland uniform. “
“Hey! I actually like this uniform, and I think guys and girls do too.”
“Little difficult, I have a three year old, so my priorities aren’t currently on my dreams. Maybe it was enchanted. I can make that work. Maybe you should quit your job and become a motivational speaker.”
“Understandable. At least you know they’re on temporary hold till the little guy gets older. What’s his name? That’s probably an awful idea, I’d probably accidentally lead them into a horrible lifestyle.”
“Uh, political science. It’s just…not for me.”
“You want to be what Americans and Canadians hate most, a politician. Well...I guess not want with that attitude.”
“Hey, politics are intriguing. Why’d you stick with it then?”

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“Dark Roast Vanilla Hazelnut hot coffee made regular. You seriously need to check yourself into the hospital if you end up not liking it. Good luck, T-Mas. I’m trying out that nickname, how do you feel about it?”
“Why is the name so long? —I’m curious as to why people are prone to make nicknames for me. But at this point, I’ll take anything but sir and Tommy boy.”
text || tom & celene
Tom: happy birthday squirrel 🎉 🎈 🎊 🎂 🎁
Tom: https://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/31459589.jpg ツ
Tom: call me soon, I may or may not have those emojis in real life too
Tom: not a real squirrel though sorry
Tom: I'm good but I'm not that good.