lowkey just here to vibe

“will you call when you’re back at school?” he asked remus hesitantly.

“of course” remus had instantly replied.

grant had smiled and kissed remus on the cheek softly.

and soon august turned to september and remus left.

that was the start of grant finding himself in the same telephone booth as often as he could,

laughing with remus as he listened to him talk about his friends and the “adventures” he had been up to.

while he was happy for remus, he missed him. a lot.

when he wasn’t on the phone with remus, grant often could see them lost in the memory, replaying moments in his head.

grant often found that august slipped away into a moment of time,

and while he was sitting missing remus,

remus was busy with other things and couldn’t be too preoccupied.

grant hated it. and he hated that he hated it.

as time went on, he slowly became more and more aware that he was not remus’ true love.

sirius black was.

grant was the second choice,

and he found that he wasn’t fazed by the realization. 

because deep down he always knew. 

remus was never his. 

and so the next time he saw remus in person, making two cups of tea for them,

he mentioned it.

remus played it off, 

but grant knew.

so when remus had asked him what he was talking about, grant had replied with

“you know what i’m talking about, you belong with sirius.” 

it was as simple as that.

but remus refused to give in, begging grant and pleading with him that it was not the case.

“grant i… i don’t know what to say…”

that was all he needed to confirm his thoughts.

“fuck remus, wanting was enough. for ME it was enough!” he finally let out.

grant sighed, running his hands through his hair.

“i’m sorry… you don’t deserve this” remus murmured weakly.

“so much for summer love and saying ‘us’” grant chuckled, trying to desde the tension. 

he stood with his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his feet.

the tea was long forgotten as remus stood as well.

“i want to be yours” remus stated, but it was as if he needed convincing himself.

“that’s the thing- you weren’t ever mine, you weren’t mine to lose”

remus stayed silent.

“do you remember? remember when i pulled up and said ‘get in the car’? and then cancelled my plans just in case you’d call?” grant continued.

remus looked at him, guilty, because no. he didn’t realize grant had been so eagerly waiting for his phone calls that he’d even cancelled plans.

remus finally spoke “that was back when i was living for the hope of it all…”

“but you were living your life without me” grant stated.

“i’ve got a job opportunity in brighton” he said before he could talk himself out of it. 

remus looked up, shocked, “but we live in london”

“remus…” 

“you’re just up and leaving me for a job?” remus was about to start shouting.

“come on, you know it’s about more than that” grant looked at him. 

“you cant do that!!” remus felt sick and indignant.

“i’m making things easier for you, i’ve always tried to do that havent i?” grant told him softly.

after some ‘i love you’s and grants full confirmation of his decision, remus wanted to fall to his knees and wail.

“you’ll break my heart if you go now” remus sulked. 

grant shook his head lightly and simply looked remus in the eye and stated “i’m sorry, love. but it’s breaking my heart to stay”

remus understood, and didn’t try to sway him any more, as grant had already made up his mind.

“you’ve been my little bit of magic” grant smiled at remus, the last thing he ever said to him.