Systemfehler

Sometimes I can *literally* feel my emotional pain in my body. Idk what it is but it just really freaks me out. It's scary...

I understand it. I'm trying to get away from myself, too. Obviously that's not possible. But it hurts nonetheless to be abandoned. Especially by people you love.

Sometimes I wonder why I feel the way I do. Why I'm still depressed. Why it's so hard for me to move on. Why I feel so absolutely out of place in this world. And I've come to realize I'm just different somehow. Like you know this guy I really love dumped me and of course I should be angry oder idk pissed somehow, right? And I am. I most certainly am. Also I'm hurt, he kinda ripped my heart out and obviously doesn't even care the tiniest bit. But more than that I worry about him because the last time we talked he told me he's not so well. So what do I do? I'm worried about him because I want him to be ok even when I'm not. I still care for him and I'm way more worried than angry. It makes me sick and I hate myself for it but I obviously can't help it. I can't just stop caring about people just because they hurt me. And that applies to almost every single thing in my life. I care about things, about people and I can't just stop because it's hurting me. I just can't.

That's literally the worst feeling of all. It's killing me.

~ ‘cause I do

~ does this make me a bad person? idk

~ Shawn Mendes

noun. a ridiculous and crazy idea or plan you have while you are being drunk. you don’t actually have to be drunk though, this word just indicates that the idea is so crazy you’d have to be drunk to come up with it.

~BMTH

Sometimes I really want to know why I always manage to fuck things up that badly. I wish there was a way to make everything right again. Not like it ever was but whatever.

~ 9 word story

noun. an excessive and abnormal love and deep attraction to music and melody.