âYouâre a sky full of starsâ
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@sysullivan
âYouâre a sky full of starsâ
Yoongi Stars Aesthetic đ As Requested!

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Arcade Fire [ SM & DV ]
sydex:
Dexter takes pride in piloting Serenity, especially when landing her like sheâs a delicate butterfly landing on the flimsiest of flowers. Every stellar landing he pulls off is celebrated with a cocky eyebrow waggle in Kinamâs direction to fan the fires of competition. Without proper education or training heâd be considered by most grossly under-qualified for the job, and knowing that fact made him all the more insufferable. But, being needed elsewhere, he cut the gloating short. Wearing a hoodie of light blue and worn canvas shoes, he hurried out from Serenityâs belly (after stopping to tell a couple bad jokes) to meet Sully - who inexplicable, made him kind of nervous.Â
At the entrance Sullivanâs silhouette fixed into focus, and he swallowed the tiny lump of anxiety that begun building in his throat. Six months into his stay on Serenity he grew accustomed to their stewardâs natural expression that at best, appears bored with the world and all of its inhabitants. However, the Bitch Face is extra powerful today, and he begins to feel guilty for messing around earlier. In a rush, Dexter hops onto the railing, slides down, lands with a practiced grace, and walks to Sully with a genuine, rising smile. He keeps it when heâs scolded (or, it feels like a scolding), and the smiles grows when hit with the sound of his name. Maybe heâs winning him over by now?
âSorry, Sullyâ he apologizes, but canât force his face to be still and serious. Most respond well to friendly, except Sullivan, who to him is guarded with formality, and he has always hated formalities. âHey, you didnât call me misterâ he grins and nudges him with his elbow in good nature, then looks out to the port, busy with colorful crowds and the flicker of neon advertising. The planet is small and not extraordinary enough for tourism, and barely appealing enough for living. Thus, itâs perfect for a disjointed group of smugglers, just like themselves. âLetâs get goingâ he insists, glancing to Sullyâs intimidating stare, then back to the landscape of industry and humanity.Â
As they descend into the strip he notices oddest traits of this place as the electronica that plays quietly on the street speakers and the apparent popularity of fanny packs among the general public. âWhat do you need to get?â Dexter asks, tearing himself away from the spectacle that is this strange, new place. He tries to refocus on the task and stares at Sullivanâs profile, but instead something catches his eye across the street: LEDs that blinked excitedly, the glow of blacklight, and all the other tell-tale signs of an arcade. âWait. What is that?â
Sullivan can barely keep himself from rolling his eyes as Dexter slides down the railing into the cargo bay. Despite thinking he actually looked pretty cool (which he will NEVER admit) heâs not finished being cross due to having to wait an extra handful of minutes more than he would have liked and Dexterâs smile isnât helping his case. There isnât anything particularly wrong with his smile. In fact, itâs rather nice as far as smiles go. However, that doesnât mean Sullivan appreciates the warmth of his expression or the goodwill behind it. Especially not when certain people go flashing them around at anyone and everything; as if they mean absolutely nothing. A smile from Sullivan is as rare as a blue moon and it makes them rather special in the estimation of those who are aware of this knowledge.
Dexterâs apology helps a little bit but pointing out that heâd forced himself to call the war veteran by his first name washes the stewardâs cheeks with a rosy hue and increases the sourness in his expression. The nudge, another gesture undoubtedly meant to make things a little less awkward and bring them closer to âfriendly,â is poorly received. Arms crossed tightly over his chest and body rigid, as always, Sullivanâs thin frame ends up off-kilter from the tap of his elbow and he has to widen his stance in order to not fall over completely. Dexter only earns himself another glare for all his gestures.
Sullivan huffs softly, reminding himself that he needs to be polite...as polite as he can be and try to salvage the rough start to their errands before the entire outing is spoiled, but being the small and cranky person he is, that doesnât come very easily to him. He too looks over the landscape when Dexter does the same, flashing neon lights catch his eyes but he quickly dismisses them. Work first...work, work, work. He unclenches his clipboard from his chest to reference the stops they need to make as to properly inform his assistant but he looks up upon hearing Dexterâs second question and the small amount of effort heâd put into calming himself is completely wasted.
âItâs nothing we have time for!â Sullivan growls, making the effort to unclench one of his bony little fists and latch onto the hem of Dexâs hoody...as if there was some sort of chance he could hold the man back if he decided to walk in that direction.
âYouâre really weird⊠but I like thatâ
Taegi Aesthetic đ As requested!
baby breath, daffodil, lavender
Cute Botanical Asks - Accepting!
Babyâs Breath: 5 things you associate yourself with:
Museums/LibrariesClassical MusicLines, columns, & neatly checked marksBeing on the âwrongâ side of the war...Freckles
Daffodil: What is one plant that you want to have but can never get?
âA plant I want to have? A plant?â he repeated and scrunched his nose, wondering if he was somehow misunderstanding the question. It wasnât easy to have any type of plant in the Black, and at least in his mind, perhaps in Audreyâs too, put them into a sort of âluxuryâ category so he couldnât discount the validity of the question. He was taking most of this time on the semantics of the question, however, not his answer. âCannabis,â he answered simply and without a shred of remorse or the shame that he is so frequently associated with. He sighed wistfully, imagining his own little âgreenhouseâ in one of the sub-rooms off the engine where it would be nice and warm. He quickly dismissed the idea though, as there would be no keeping certain members of the crew out of his drug empire and no point getting his hopes up.
Lavender: What is something that youâve always wanted to be/have/get but can never have?
Sullivan pondered the question for several moments, closing his eyes and tapping a finger to his chin. A chain of wants passed behind his lidded eyes like polaroids clipped to a string; most of them intangible values that he felt he lacked due to circumstance or defect of character. The ability to hold his head up without regret pulling it back down. The courage to stand up for something he believes in...without fear of the consequences, or the judgment of others, or by utilizing borrowed strength. The pride that comes with confidence or the confidence that comes with pride. Even feeling like he was capable of standing on his own two feet would be enough...
âA piano,â he answered suddenly, eyes and expression still vacant. âI really miss my piano.â
Arcade Fire [ SM & DV ]
Like a leaf on the wind, Serenity glides from starry black to cloudy blue. Sullivan waits anxiously in the cargo hold as the ship touches down smoothly, almost daintily. Itâs as if she weighed 150 lbs, not 150 tons (give or take). The steward has a long list of items to purchase and their trip planetside will be a short one. âPatience is a virtue,â Sullivan keeps reminding himself, but the proverbial saying is doing little to calm his fraying nerves.
Usually, someone who can hop off the ship as soon as it lands escorts Sullivan around whatever port theyâre visiting to complete his errands. Today, the only suitable pack mule volunteer is their main pilot. Heâs strong or at least seems that way, but heâs certainly not someone who can just run off the ship as soon as it touches down. Sullivan keeps reminding himself of that too but itâs not helping his nerves any.
He stands stalk still, his frame a compact and rigid contradiction to the tailored garments he donned. He clutches his clipboard to his chest, knuckles white. Theyâre just one small indication of his waning patience. Heâs been doing his very best to treat Dexter respectfully because he served with the Captain in the Unification War, but itâs not easy when factoring in their time restraints and Sullivanâs tendency to worry. Were it just about anyone else, he would have already started shouting complaints and possibly stamping his foot because it felt like it was taking so long.
Resting Bitch Face affixed in all its glory, Sullivanâs eyes narrowed when Dexter finally came into view. From his expression, it looked like heâd been forced to wait five hours when itâd only been five minutes, if not less. âNice of you to finally make an appearance -â Sullivan grumbled, hesitating as he resisted the urge to address him as âMr.â
âDexter,â he choked out in conclusion.
@sydex

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the definition of unnecessary
Send âđž â plus a thread we have or should have and I will make a mood board/aesthetic for it! - Accepting!
@sysidereus - The Letter
âDid you really get this far?â Sullivan asked, already mid-reach for the assignment heâd sent âhomeâ with his pupil the night before. He could see the edge of what he concluded was a page marker peeking out from the book and, he already looked and sounded impressed.Â
The spine opened willingly in his lap, revealing its contents to him as it had many times before. Now, it isnât uncommon for someone to pick up a book they havenât read in a long time and discover something new; something theyâd completely missed before, but Sullivan couldnât possibly have guessed what heâd find this time.Â
âSidereusâ is scrawled on the outside of the envelope. The letter is heavy when Sullivan picks it up, multiple pages folded multiple times. He frowns and the hair on the back of his neck stands up when he realizes it is sealed.
He should not be looking at this. He should not be touching it. He feels like heâs intruded on something sacred; something cherished. He looks up, panic in his eyes when realizes Sid is standing in front of him, staring at him. His cheeks immediately flush with scarlet-tinged regret. The expression on Sidâs face is unreadable to Sullivan and he thinks it is perhaps worse that he canât easily identify what kind of upset he is.
Sullivan looks down, lashes lowering to his cheeks, his gaze glued to slender fingers as he carefully returns the letter back where it had been tucked and closes the book around it. He wishes Sid would say something. He wishes he would answer the questions that are burning in his mind. Why? Why is he carrying around this tattered old letter? Who is it from? How long has he had it? Isnât he going mad from not know what it says?! Why hasnât he opened it?! Goosebumps break across Sullivanâs skin when Sid does speak up and gives him all the answer he needs.Â
âI wanted...to read it myself.â
Sullivanâs lips part; slowly, smoothly. Softly, he smiles as he lifts his gaze to Siderius, eyes alight with intrigue and a renewed motivation for the task at hand.Â
âThen weâve got our work cut out for us, donât we?â
discretion (take it or leave it)
sycyrus:
sysullivan:
âIâŠI WANT WHATâS IN THAT BAGâŠHAND IT OVERâŠOR ELSE.â
Heâs torn. With all the might of a whole sled of huskies, Cyrus has mastered the poker face over the years, but this was all too comical. The man before him seemed harmless. That being said, he has also learned over the years never to trust a book by its cover, so there is a chance that this lithe man is potentially the dangerous one in this vicinity. Enclosed by the walls of the alley, and barren street, there is a high probability that this statement that passed his mind was entirely false. He risked it, and raised his brows in anticipation of what- he wasnât quite sure yet. Surprise him.Â
âYou canât be serious.âÂ
Cyrus didnât move, not hiding the possession in his side nor moving closer or away. Unless the stranger was a very fantastic actor, it seemed with the eyeâs analysis that endurance was not one of his traits- the freelancer would have heard running footsteps behind him, and there was naught. Perhaps this was a red herring of sorts- a good distraction that was the ultimate ploy for a bigger task at hand, and his client to see if he would qualify.
So his back straightened, and Cyrus squared his shoulders, facing the shorter male head on, walking closer. Choices, decisions, skepticism and hysteria all whirling in his mind as he had both plan A and plan B in his palms. Still. There was something soâŠ. genuine about this reaction that it felt like the fatigue was not feigned. So he holds unto his plans, and waited it out.
âYouâre not very threatening, Iâll have you know.â Stating the obvious here, but there was no time for pleasantries, considering the only statements the mere strangers have shared in their time together.Â
Heâs more than an arm length away after his slow steps towards the peculiar man, but heâs entertaining it ( Cyrus better not regret this, because there have been times where the joke is on him, but itâs been a long time since that and he hated how he had to disappear off the grid from that planet for a few rotations. Letâs not revisit that because he got a little cocky and bored⊠)Â
âBut alright, Iâll bite. Or else⊠what? What are you going to do?âÂ
Sullivan had quite the predicament on his hands at this point. He could already hear Jaewon shouting in the back of his mind, scolding him for doing risky things on his own, for even leaving the ship by himself considering the track record he had with getting into trouble or ending up lost. But how was he supposed to ask for help when he was trying to keep things secret?! The fact that he was trying to work on his own was what was making the situation that much more complicated. He was already very worried he would end up getting ripped off and in an attempt to keep that from happening he was now in a potentially dangerous situation.
If they were going by doing and saying the wrong things, Sullivan was apparently doing a fantastic job. The courier held his ground for what felt like much too long, certainly after Sullivan had just issued him a very intimidating challenge. His breath still came in short little gasps despite having come to a stop in the last minute or so, a good indication that he was indeed in pretty poor physical condition but also that he was still in a panic, on the verge of fight or flight mode.
When Cyrus straightened his back and shoulders, Sullivanâs breath hitched in his throat, eyes widening when he turned to face him. He really, really hoped he didnât look as scared as he suddenly felt. As Cyrus began moving closer to him, Sullivanâs eyes continued to widen, breath held. He hadnât been thinking the person would be this good, to be honest? Clearly, he was very skilled if heâd managed to detect Sullivan following him, but he was also quite intimidating and possibly capable of adequately protecting the item heâd hired him to deliver.Â
âYouâre not very threatening, Iâll have you know.â
Sullivan balked, momentarily insulted, but he couldnât focus on his damaged pride for long since Cyrus kept walking closer to him. Heâd seen through his facade easily (although just about anyone would) and Sullivan was at a complete loss as to what to do even before Cyrus asked him point blank what this so-called âor elseâ was going to be. He looked around, blinking hair and sweat out of his eyes, almost visibly struggling to think up something, anything, to salvage the situation but after opening and closing his mouth a few times he still had nothing.
âI...itâs spinning? Itâs all spinning,â Sullivan choked out as the world seemed to suddenly begin lurching and rotating despite knowing he was standing still. The heat, the exertion, the stress of this confrontation, it was too much! The edges of his vision darkened until everything was black.
cute botanical asks!!
peachisty:
babyâs breath: 5 things you associate yourself with: bleeding heart:Â what makes you heart go mushy? bell flower: whatâs the title of the song that makes you want to jump around out of joy? daffodil: what is one plant that you want to have but can never get? calla lily: are you more of a sunny day or a rainy evening? foxglove: what is your favorite color and in what shade? lavender: what is something that youâve always wanted to be/have/get but can never have? love in a mist:Â what is the latest dream that you remember? daisy: what is your favorite flavor of cotton candy, ice cream, and juice? painterâs palette:Â are you more of a singer, dancer, painter, or instrumentalist? tulip: what is your most favorite make-up product? do you like it more natural, dark, or etc? waxflower:Â are you a bee or a butterfly person? a dog or a cat person? sugarbush: do you have sweet tooth? if yes, whatâs your favorite sweets? if no, why? sweet pea: what would you like to call your significant other? sea lavender:Â can you swim? which strokes can you do? golden rod:Â are you more of a baker or a cook? bloom: what is something that you would like to tell your children? peony: what is something that you wish your parents couldâve told you? prairie gentian:Â do you have a significant other? september flower: are you more of a sunrise or sunset person? bird of paradise:Â do you wake up early? do you sleep early? marigold: whatâs your favorite tea? peruvian lily:Â what are the names of your pets? lilac: would you rather sleep and be cozy or hang out with your friends? dandelion:Â any special talent that you have?
âdevilâs waltzâ
syjaewon:
[ âïž ]
âwell, thatâs the thing though, sullivan,â he murmurs low, his arms coming back around the shorter male, this time a little more confident, a little stronger, his legs doing their best to remember the steps while his lungs remember to continue breathing. âitâs impossible for me to not think of you while iâm holding you; everything about you is too unique to confuse with someone else.â even if he closed his eyes, heâd still be able to tell, so he doesnât even try, again refocusing his eyes on sullivanâs face so he can remember the counting.
itâs precisely because it is sullivan thatâs why jaewon is so nervousâ isnât that obvious? he suddenly wonders if what heâs saying though is about to backfire, making the other leave him alone to learn this shit on his own. âiâm⊠itâs hard for me to be this close to someone, you know. makes me a terrible student, of course, but even though i donât like you seeing me this way, youâre sort of the only person i can ask for this.â he pauses, his discomfort growing exponentially, having exposed that much vulnerability. this is not a conversation he ever wants to have again. âyou know that right?â
Sullivan had been doing his best to give Jaewon an escape when telling him to pretend it was someone else teaching him to dance. If he wanted, Jaewon could shut those magnificent golden eyes and decide it was someone else in his arms; someone heâd want to have there. Sullivan was slight enough; small enough to disappear and easily be replaced with whomever the Captain preferred, or at least, thatâs what heâd believed.
However, as seemed to be the rule with Captain Yang, he took the practical and logical conclusion Sullivan had drawn, stomped on it a few times, stabbed it, shot it, and flushed it right out the airlock. The steward could feel the difference in Jaewonâs hold as he took him into his embrace again and paired with that rumbling murmur, Sullivanâs heart lurched and constricted inside his chest. He was already looking at Jaewonâs face as he continued speaking, gaze attaching itself to his lips as he began saying things Sullivan honestly couldnât believe he was hearing.
âItâs impossible for me to not think of you while Iâm holding you; everything about you is too unique to confuse with someone else.â
Sullivanâs eyes were wide, half vacant as he tried to dispell intimate connotations spoken at such an intimate proximity. âWhile Iâm holding you...â Sullivanâs head was sent spinning counterclockwise to the rotation of their slow waltz. This was supposed to be a lesson. A simple instruction; put your hands like this, move your feet like this, and keep doing it like this until you memorize it. Yes, technically Jaewon was holding him...but to say it...with his soft and gruff voice, with those lips inches from eye level, with no one else in the room to distract Sullivan from the irrefutable magnetism of the man who commanded him, to keep him too embarrassed and afraid of looking foolish in front of others to redefine what had been said into what his hopelessly romantic, lonely, and self-sabotaging heart wanted him to hear.
To make matters worse, he attached it to a compliment that absolutely tickled the validation-starved young man. To say Sullivan was flustered, was an understatement. His cheeks had already been aflame but Jaewon being tender with him, showing him, verbalizing the vulnerability Sullivan could already see and feel, was only worsening his condition. Was there a shade redder than scarlet? He felt like his cheeks must have turned purple by this point; his undesirable heart beating wildly in his chest. Heâd just admitted that this situation wasnât easy for him either, but his dear, precious Captain had misunderstood his complaint.
Sullivan had plenty of experience dancing certainly, but did Jaewon really think he had ever been able to dance like this with another man? Sullivan, for all his missteps and fumbles into dangerous situations, is very careful when it comes to his ego, his pride, his reputation. Did Jaewon think he would openly reveal how weak and soft he truly is in front of the scrutiny of strange faces in a crowd? Did he think Sullivan would let his guard down this far for anyone else but him? There isnât anyone else he has ever trusted like he does Jaewon. No one else heâs placed his faith in like the tempestuous soul in front of him.
âItâs hard for me to be this close to someone, you know. Makes me a terrible student, of course, but even though I donât like you seeing me this way, youâre sort of the only person I can ask for this. You know that, right?â
Sullivan exhales a shaky breath from somewhere deep within him, feeling his racing heart begin to calm, soothed by Jaewonâs effort to communicate with him. âI know, Captain.â Itâs a vow; a promise and the whisper he manages is dredged in too much empathy. He truly understands what Jaewon is saying to him but it doesnât change how Sullivan feels or how heâll treat Jaewon. âYou donât have to worry,â he insists softly, breaking his gaze from the captainâs because his head is still spinning too quickly. He lays it on the manâs shoulder instead, trying to focus on comforting Jaewon instead of how the heat from his cheek must be burning through his shirt and into his tentacled shoulder.
His fingers gently tap the beat against Jaewonâs shoulderblade but he is liquid in his arms, softness melded to hot, iron framework. He moves intuitively as Jaewon leads and finds the pace that suits him while easing into the rhythm that pulses through Sullivanâs veins and out of his fingertips. Even in his bleak musicless existence, Sullivan can feel the metronomeâs tick in his soul; unwavering.Â
âYouâre doing well, Captain, very well,â he praised in a soft but matter of fact tone. âItâs like most things, you just have to practice it. Besides...â he added in a softer grumble. âIf you end up stepping on someoneâs foot youâre tall and handsome and charming enough to make up for it. With âsocietyâ women like this, itâll probably be the most exciting thing that happens to her the whole night,â he theorized.

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She wasnât⊠entirely sure on what Sullivanâs job on this ship actually entailed, but with a very few, crystal clear expectations, Sonmi felt that way about everyone. But maybe thatâs the thing, when a ship becomes a home and a crew becomes a family, that these jobs and job descriptions start blurring and spilling over into simply taking care of each other. She likes that. She wants to take care of things too, of Serenity, of Sullivan, of Jaewon. She wants to add something, no matter how small, a little flicker of I exist.
syxsonmi; security blanket
discretion (take it or leave it)
another day, another job. thatâs all it was. the way others treated an accounting job, or a position in the army, or in the alliance- this was how he viewed his own occupation as well. though there were much less limitations in his idea. his own hours, and his own timeline (to an extent. after all, no one can teleport quite yet.
thereâs a new task that comes his way, and heâs not intrigued. in fact, he barely bats an eye. deliver documents to londinium? heâs heard of more difficult things. couldnât this have been mailed in⊠you know, the mail transport system? mark him as not-so-intrigued, but a job was a job and he barely glances at the sealed thick envelope before placing it in his bag. no creases.
itâs not that he is necessarily disinterested, but the less he knows, the better. he learned that the hard way, when there were some previous jobs where heâd gotten too personal with the subject, or a call too close, where blood did have to be shed. and cyrus would rather not have to repeat that experience.Â
itâs only when he actually ventures off, feeling as if he were going for an errand to grab his morning coffee than anything else. and that is why he preferred to not know the identity of his deliveries- because there was no point in getting minutely riled up over something that he had no personal vesting in. except when there were past projects that were high in security and of extreme stress, that- while cyrus would not admit, would likely have him sweating slightly more than the normal circumstance. he doesnât know if he likes that burden. hm. and so heâs off on his way, treating it like an afternoon stroll, blending into his surroundings of the planetâs civilization.Â
itâs only a quarter of the way when he notices heâs got a shadow. in the form of a lithe gentleman who doesnât want to appear noticed. ( but he is, the stranger is not invisible by any means ) and itâs annoying, like an itch he cannot scratch and it drives cyrus batty with every detour that his shadow follows. hm. seriously, who sent him on this journey, with what documents to this dropoff? stilling slowly, he glances where the envelope burns a hole in his bag but he doesnât move to change his movements, continuing his pace, only slower. he hopes he doesnât have to use whatever weaponry he has on him, but the stranger seems⊠harmless enough thus far, with what hazards that were not presented.Â
âi know youâre thereâŠâ he says, if not awkwardly to the seemingly empty surrounding, stopped in his position as he doesnât turn to face behind him, waiting to see if they would come out.Â
@sysullivan
Sullivan is a bore.
Itâs pretty much common knowledge and not easily dismissable as a misconception. Heâs a creature of habit. He finds comfort in structure, in the âknown.â Heâs a fan of order and guidelines; of organization, practicality, and efficiency. It doesnât mean heâs completely uninteresting. Even reclusive, snippy, little Sullivan, with his clipboard and his red checkmarks and his naps and fine clothing; has secrets.
Maybe not the kind of secrets the other crew and passengers boast (or keep buried within), but still, Sullivan has dreams and aspirations. He has goals and desires and passions. Heâs just very careful about how and with whom he shares them with. When youâre extremely self-conscious, borderline paranoid and happen to run with a group thatâs predominantly contributing sources of a criminal element, itâs a bit harder to decide who to trust with such things.
Three years ago...
Sullivan had taken quite a risk in submitting an anonymous short story for publication. Not an actual risk involving danger or harm; he just hates rejection that much. But, he hadnât been rejected. In fact, his story had been so popular that the magazine requested the author contact them to discuss terms of a quarterly or even monthly segment. Deciding on a pen name was the hardest task. Much more difficult than setting up a few dummy accounts for his payment to be routed, rerouted and then deposited. Mailing his work was easy then too. They were in and out of ports so frequently, at one corner of the âverse and then another; not at all easy to track.
The success that followed still doesnât seem quite real to Sullivan. After all, itâs a secret. The credit is not his to take and itâs not something he can share with anyone - especially the people he lives with...the people whose lives and personalities heâs rearranged around in that whimsical head of his to create his own misfit crew of rebels. In the strangest twist of fate, Sullivanâs stories became wildly popular on Alliance-heavy planets; predominantly in the Core itself. City folk canât get enough of the adventures and the renegade lifestyle that is borderline alien to their own.
His series was picked up by the most widely spread publication in the âverse; a publication that the crew picks up on the regular, no less! Maintaining his anonymity and the anonymity of their operation had always been a huge concern to Sullivan but especially with this latest development. He wasnât even sure he could continue if he couldnât do so securely, after all, Jaewon would be the first to boot him out the airlock if he led the Alliance to their door.
The enlistment of a courier became a necessity, but going back to that whole extremely self-conscious and borderline paranoid thing, choosing one wasnât easy for Sullivan. Unfortunately for Cyrus, Sullivan was his client. A client who was struggling both with keeping up with him and keeping track of him. You can forget about his cover, he blew that long before Cyrus stopped him in a lonesome stretch of alley and confronted him.
Sullivan had been doing his best to creep back and forth between the dumpsters and heaps of discarded ship parts like heâd seen Kafka do on various occasions. He envied the way the thief moved, like liquid and shadow. In a flash and then just as suddenly in slow motion; silent. Sullivan was not any of that. He was hot and wheezing slightly. Heâd practically tripped and had already bumped into something loud enough that someone the next street over couldâve heard. Needless to say, he was about as good at tailing someone as he is at yoga.
And yet, somehow he was so surprised at being caught that he gasped, eyes wide, heart racing. It hadnât occurred to him that Cyrus would notice him, like many situations where he ended up in danger and that hadnât occurred to him either. He stood stalk still in the middle of the alley, breaths coming in little huffs as he tried to decide what to say...what to do. He made a very poor snap decision.
âI...I WANT WHATâS IN THAT BAG...HAND IT OVER...OR ELSE.â
âI was destined to be at least 182cm tall but I faced some difficulties along the wayâ
Strange Bedfellows
neosy:
 Neo was still awake when the knock came to his door.
 He sat cross-legged on his bed, his journal out in front of him with his unusually ring-less fingers wrapped around a pen, scribbling out words and plans and things he had to do ranging somewhere from fantasy to reality. It was an odd mix that he felt surely no one else would be able to understand, sentences almost incomprehensible as they dragged off one page and onto another. His hair was in a state not commonly seen, damp from the shower heâd taken shortly beforehand and not adhering to one particular direction nor the other, causing his hand to consistently come from his lap, pushing it out of his face with each wisp that fell across his forehead.Â
  He was not prepared for guests.
  Neo was known for being well-put together at all times, hair and clothes styled to always teem with his charm from inside out; a slicked-back, deadly striking, and prepared mercenary with a look to match, but at the moment the knock sounded he was more prepared to sleep than to entertain, eyes slightly hazed and his always good looks disheveled. His head snapped up as he was jolted from his thoughts, pen sliding across the paper in his momentary distraction and drawing a line clean through the page. He blinked at it for a moment before looking back to the door and pushing the journal out of his lap and into his bed, standing. His brain lagged behind his body, walking to the door and opening it before pausing to consider who it might be, exhaustion heavy despite the gut-ripping insomnia. He supposed, in a sense, he had been as close to dreaming as he often got these days.
 The sight of Sullivan, however, brought Neo back to reality quickly, eyes focusing as he dragged them down the figure in his doorway; from his hand-covered face to his clothes. He wouldâve smiled naturally if he were more aware, because it was so very unlike him to desire a man who wore pink satin pajamas but even so he couldnât help but think that they fit Sullivan perfectly. He pushed up a smile anyways, something that ended up looking quite unlike his usual Cheshire grin, all soft and weary.
 He knew what he shouldâve done, he should have sent Sullivan away with an excuse, a small frown and an apology as he found himself in such a mood that failed to uphold his usual persona. He wasnât emotionally or mentally awake enough to be charming or scary, not guarded enough to be secretive. He was powered down in a sense, almost as if he unplugged his personality and put it on a charger, his body functioning without a motherboard and his brain foggy. However, because of this, his subconscious found itself thinking, remembering something Ephraim had said to him before when heâd asked about how he fell asleep at night.
   âholdinâ on to somethinâ or someone helps me most, reallyâŠâÂ
  His body was grateful that his mind wasnât home, so tired and deprived that he found himself willing to try anything, and the fact that it was Sullivan here at his door only helped soften him up in a way he was sure no one else on board wouldâve been able to. âSeemingly harmless in pink pajamas..â He found himself thinking, justifying. Sullivan wouldnât take advantage of him, he wasnât capable of it â he wouldnât hold anything against him, even if he were to slip and say some things he didnât really want to say. Sullivan was okay, Sullivan was safe.
  Suddenly Neo found himself needing some comfort as much as it seemed the other male did, and more so, willing to accept it as well. Besides, he knew he wanted to get closer to the steward, and âwhatâs better than vulnerability, right?â Justification further intoned.
  Neo smiled a little warmer, his hand running through his hair again to push it off his forehead before stepping to the side.Â
  âOf course, come in.â He said with a small wave, stepping away from the open door to walk back over to his bed and clear off the journal, putting it on a quickly shelf before turning back to Sullivan. Then his hand was in his hair again, almost like he was trying to get it to cooperate now that someone was there to see him. His teeth dug into the inside of his cheek when he realized what that was.Â
   Insecurity.
  âItâs good that youâre here.â His smile wavered for a second before steadying again, hesitating as he debated exactly how âvulnerableâ he was going to allow himself to be. âI canât say that I want to be alone tonight either.â
Sullivan had gone through an extensive array of variables on how this situation might play out on his journey toward Neoâs door. He was torn on what seemed most probable. Would Neo humor and spoil him as he was hoping or would he end up rejected and worse, have interrupted some sort of steamy illicit rendezvous? Even though heâd hoped Neo would invite him in, Sullivan was surprised when he did. Or perhaps it was something else that he found surprising or a combination of things?Â
Slender fingers slowly lowered from his face, a pout on his lips that seemed somehow pleased. Eyebrows lifting over dark eyes glittering in the dim light cast into the hall from his room and Sullivan inched forward. âReally?â he peeped, his spirits lifting further when Neo signaled his entrance with a flourish and stepped away from the door. Yes, he was very pleased heâd taken the chance.Â
He hadnât been in Neoâs room before but it was exactly what heâd expected. Not gaudy or overdone but it still seemed...expensive. Deep, rich, luxurious colors and textures made the enclosed objects seem all the more alluring. Sullivan shuffled in, feeling like cotton candy next to wine and closed the door behind him as he watched his host tuck a journal from the bed onto one of his shelves. He was intrigued, to put it mildly, but certainly, the most interesting object in the room was Neo himself.
Heâd never seen Neo like this before. He was...undone.Â
Sullivan had been enamored with the man from minute one and realized, of course, he hadnât even scratched the surface when it came to the enigmatic male. He was sure Neo had experienced things that even hearing the stories of would alter Sullivan from his perpetually fragile state. Neo was a performer and he seemed to always be ready for the spotlight; mask in place. Even though heâd only beheld him for a moment; half dressed, damp hair in his eyes, an almost tender smile...Sullivan was rapt.
His tiptoeing ceased when Neo turned back to him, and again, that pout reappeared. âReally?â he repeated when Neo claimed it was good that heâd come. He didnât mean to seem surprised that Neo would want him around or even need the company of others when he was so much by himself. It was his timing that seemed so suspiciously serendipitous.
âI canât say that I want to be alone tonight either.â
Sullivan felt his jaw drop slightly and his cheeks flushed pink as result. He quickly clamped his mouth back together, ashamed that he really was that easy to shock. Still, the concept of Neo needing someone when Neo was Neo, it was strangely comforting to Sullivan. He covered his mouth with a fist and cleared his throat as he tried to pull himself back together. âYou shouldâve called me right away!â he grumbled gruffly, gently scolding Neo as he came to stand before.
âThereâs no reason for you to be alone if Iâm nearby,â he huffed, matter-of-factly and a bit sulky. Of course, he would come running if Neo called him. Luckily though tonight, Sullivan had dared to reach out and again he dared, unable to fight the compulsion any longer. He reached up, fingertips careful as he tucked Neoâs hair back from his handsome face and attempted a comforting smile.

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one of the first things jaewon becomes aware of the next day after his damn-near 18-hour nap, is that sullivan is in severe, critical condition in the med-bay. no other information is given and that alone ignites the captainâs frustrations, simply because he doesnât appreciate being left out of whatever is happening on his boat, his need and complex to stretch the breadth of himself out across this entire ship dominant on his mind, despite the trauma heâs stepping through, the trauma heâs leaving behind in the dunes of his homeworld.
so heâs in a bit of a rush when he comes down the hallway, black boots thundering across the metal ( the way they are supposed to be, the way heâs always meant to be, how heâs always meant to stride; yang jaewon, tall and shining and driven ), his hands still adjusting his shirt as he comes down to the small white room, the cleanest place on serenity. sullivan does look severe, that much is true, but not so overly criticalâ at least, not what jaewon would consider critical. his steward would no doubt argue that point with him though.
he sighs as he steps into the room, his countenance relaxing, eyes warming and gliding over the sleepy, jelled younger man, his skin blotchy and reddened like a rotting fruit, dabs of salve coursed across the burns. kalidasa is a harsh goddess, her fingers singeing wherever her light touches, no mercy, no hesitation, no distinction between those who are able to withstand her glory, and those who are not. poor sullivan, jaewon should have made him stick to the ship.
jaewon leans over his steward a bit, watching him groan and shift, wincing, and sleepily open his eyes just barely. it is well-past midnight, and the other has obviously been through enough of an ordeal to warrant drowsiness, so jaewon hushes him, lifts a hand up to his forehead, to his hairline, feeling the heat radiate off him, vallurian branding, the sand-stains threatening permanent damage to the core-planet boy, sullivan forever elemented by order and law and artificial lighting.
ânext time, you stay here on serenity, sully,â he whispers to him, hoping not to wake the other up. heâs grateful though, proud even, that this ex-alliance officer had come to show support, what little he could give, despite obvious dangers and damage imposed on himself. âcanât lose you, yknow. youâre too important.â
and then jaewon is all ghosts and shadows again, retreating from the other in silence, in darkness, falling back into the hallways to wander over towards the kitchens.
Sullivan was the weakest of all them; in strength and constitution undoubtedly, but not in spirit. Heâd made and kept vows to himself and others as he shakily found his way in an uncertain universe. He gave of himself frequently, even if many of those offerings went unacknowledged; unnoticed. Despite his aversion to discomfort and an intolerance to hot temperatures on what seemed like a genetic level, there was absolutely nothing that was going to keep him from that ceremony.Â
Of course, if you stand too close to a flame, youâll be burned. Sullivan knew that quite well after living at Jaewonâs side over the past handful of years. He knew the risks going in and naively overestimated his resolve in comparison to the unforgiving reality of the environment itself. Still, the sacrifice heâd unknowingly made was worth it; flawless porcelain skin surrendered in oblation to the mothers of his revered Captain.
Sullivanâs body ached, his skin a festering mess of burns and blisters. His skin needed to remain coated in an ointment which was meant to cool and soothe but left him shivering, lost in an uncomfortable mix of too hot and too cold. He was lucky to be unconscious but feverish dreams became nightmares that kept him trapped within the Vallurian deserts, lost and wandering; searching for a way back to his home.
Even in his dreams, Jaewon found him. Sullivan could sense the captain as he approached. He could hear him, feel the vibrations of powerful footsteps as they rattled against the Serenityâs grated flooring and loosened the quicksand that twisted around his weak limbs and weighed him down in his dreams. He rallied against the sands, trying to raise his arms so Jaewon would see him, scoop him up and soar away from painful memories on bronze wings, but all he could manage was to open his eyes.
The bright white of the med bay shocked his irises but Jaewonâs figure leaning over him was unmistakable. Bleached tresses backlit and glowing from the overhead light, expression soft but half swathed in shadow, golden eyes trained on him. The image engrained itself into Sullivanâs memory, conscious, coherent or not. There was no mistaking a sun god at this proximity.
Jaewonâs soft hush calms him, the sound of his voice bringing Sullivan a step closer to reality. He doesnât expect such sentiments. Jaewonâs presence alone is enough support to keep Sullivanâs hope afloat, but hearing him speak such words is a welcome validation to the young man who so frequently feels lost. He hangs onto those precious syllables as he hears Jaewonâs footsteps echo further and further away and as if purely by borrowing strength from being near to the man in order to wake up for that fleeting moment, Sullivan slipped further into sleep as the distance between them increased.
The dreams after the captainâs visit were deep; a welcome, restorative slumber that could only come from peace of mind and did a world of good for his recovery. As he woke the following morning, the events of the past few days swirled together in a mix of sorrow and sandy dreams but Jaewonâs words were not forgotten by the steward. They still lingered at the forefront of his mind, at least, until he was conscious enough to grasp the condition his body was in.