UGH, EMOTIONS.

SYSTEMSRED , emmy's independent multimuse blog. minimal graphics + formatting. do not follow first. 21+ only. friends - focused. affil. with truthlie , shillaly , studiodrafts , warplanet , allerdales , valheys . › carrd. writing. prompts. currently reading. game changer by rachel reid.

she looks tired in the early morning light. sleepy, as she rubs at her eyes. the coffee he's left out for her helps, but david can't help the way his heart lurches when he sees her draped in his leather jacket. there's no heat in his gaze, not as usual, only a warm fondness and affection that's utterly stranger to him. he doesn't like it. he wants to stay cold, detached, but he's sitting in her apartment, having made himself at home — and he doesnt want to leave. the response is soft, gentle, when david shakes his head. " i don't mind at all. suits you. " a half smile, the tiniest hint of shark's teeth, " just don't let it come back with any blood stains. i like that one. "

" did you just ... " sam's nose scrunches up as she stares blankly at her father. for a moment, it's as if she's trying to place just how serious the man is being ; the concern doesn't last long, however, and sam finds herself in a fit of giggles before too long. " did you just make a supernatural reference? oh my god, i knew giving you netflix was a bad idea. "

" i don't think i can. " this sort of design is innate, or so he thinks, anyway. certainly far easier said than done. arthur doesn't do the designing ; that's why he brings in architects. he can make little changes — any dreamer can, they just need to be aware of it. arthur glances at the trees, at the bridge beside them. it's a garden, peaceful, quiet. he wonders if it's from a memory. " try it yourself. reach into the pond. see if you can grab a fish. " a beat, and a smile. " hopefully it won't bite you. "

" does that work for you? that mysterious, off - putting act? " no sooner does the question leave his mouth than aaron is wondering if it's even true. is it an act? or is alice just that naturally off - putting. is it him? is he the problem? does she just remind him too much of friends he had in school, the ones he stopped talking to, and ignored follows from, direct message requests going unanswered? maybe he's the asshole here. that's a very plausible possibility. " i feel like it's pretty hard to make me uncomfortable, though. so i'm guessing none of it's true? "

it's really not. not if the last few months with o'shea has taught it anything. it feels a kinship with this one, though, with the discomfort in crowds, with people, with life as is. murderbot doesn't know why, but maybe it's because this is the first person — human — it's met that reminds it of ... it. not overly touchy or emotional, cares more than he should ; because only here, in its internal monologue, does it allow itself to admit how much it cares for its people. shut up. " not really, " it says, reminding itself to roll its shoulders. a blank stare, before it continues, surprising even itself. " but i don't mind. "

" are you real? " he's breathless, terrified, almost crazed, the way he's clutching at benji's shoulders, desperate to cling to something he knows is right. he's in so much pain it's unbearable, his head splitting worse than any tbi he's ever suffered before. he's finally escaped the torture chamber of the entity, and he's on steady ground. " benji, is this real? benj? " ethan is desperate, scrambling to hold his husband. terrified. " tell me you're — fuck. "

" it appears we are, huh? " rhett slumps back against the wall, letting himself slide down, down, until he's sitting on the hard wood floor. he doesn't believe in ghosts. or demons, or any of that nonsense, despite the fascination that so & so seems to have. he's reminded of ghostwatch, just without the actual film crew. maybe he should have his guys follow so & so around. might make for an interesting segment. happy halloween, he thinks idly, watching the flashlight's beam dance around the floor. childishly, he grins, turning the light upright, shining it just under his chin. " scary story? "

" why would you wanna be his favorite if he's such a piece of shit? " granted, callie doesn't know that they're not human yet. they don't know that they're meant to be the embodiment of goodness. or half, of such, anyway. the way that they view it — god's all one big case of unrequited love. wouldn't the devil be the same? " i think you should probably stop caring so much. that's what i do. "

" really? i find it pretty hard to look away. " it's not a true massacre ; they've both watched the same one happen, each burst ... flesh and blood painting the walls of the conference room, of daniel's entire being. blood, gurgled, from daniel's now - husband, laying on the hallway floor, clutching at his throat, desperate for air. ( he'd felt gracious. touched by the determination to protect the kid. a kid daniel thought had been hated by him. ) this, this is one of those terrible movies, the ones where satan's name is chanted, and they act as if he's nothing but an unfeeling monster. ouch. " who chose this? the child? " jack gestures to the eight year old fast asleep on the opposite end of the couch. " might have a job for her in the future. "

" only a little? " it's nice to see bradley on leave. the summer sun and the break suit him well, and that's to say nothing of fatherhood. mav makes himself at home in bradley and jake's home, the youngest seated in his high chair, with stephanie sitting across from him at the kitchen table. teenager snorts, rolling her eyes, though she doesn't look up from her phone. " i feel like it's not so much a special occasion when it's ... " a put - on wince, trying to smother the smile that threatens to break through. " kind of par for your course. "

but the wedding went off without a hitch ; and benji had used the pad of his thumb to wipe away stray tears from his eyes, had kissed him just as deeply as the first time. had held his hand and promised that he would love him forever — and he does. and will. there aren't a lot of people at the wedding, but just enough that ethan can slip away without being noticed. just enough that he can stand outside in the brisk air, and sink back into benji's arms snaked around his waist from behind. there was no death, no lane, no bomb, no explosion, no noose. just benji. and ethan. and a promise that at least now, they can be together. ethan doesn't respond to the promise from his husband, but he wraps his hand around benji's instead, offering a squeeze. exactly where he should be.

do you? it wants to ask, but it restrains itself just enough — thankful that its visor is on so that its lapse into a visible emotion isn't seen. this isn't the first time it's emoted from such a stupid argument, only the latest. and while murderbot wants to argue, and explain just how wrong he is. but it doesn't. all it does is hum.

maverick can't do much better than a blank stare. really, it's a lot kinder than some of the other pilots would be. he's turned this part of the hangar into his own, where he can work on his planes and mind his own business. this kid, though — " what? "