psychotic angel

hi, my name is Dakota and this is my place to crashout in peace.

about me:

I’m 33, poly and married. I have a lot of mental health issues but I’m not going into detail here. I’m chronically online and I have a tendency to spiral. It’s often about a man. Heartache tends to fuel my writing.

I'm not friendly; I loathe small talk and lustful men.

I deal with a lot of involuntary age regression. DNI if that's not something you can tolerate. I can't fix it.

Who i am is ever changing, so expect no consistency or stability from me.

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I'm feeling behind in life, wishing I would have learned to sew about 20 years ago. I'd be a phenomenal plush maker by now. But in actuality I maybe 2 years of experience, and even that is inconsistent. My mental health makes it hard for me to do anything on a regular basis. I burn out quickly even though I love doing it.

I've been entirely self taught and it's been and still is challenging for me. I struggle with pattern comprehension in general..I have a hard time understanding how things go together to make the thing we're going for. If there's good instructions I can do it. But often I get hung up on and quit a lot of projects just because I can't understand them. And I spend a lot of time backtracking because I've put something on backwards or upside down.. I'm pretty sure I've never put a tag on the right way on the first try. I really am just kinda dumb and everything I make should be considered a miracle.

And on top of feeling like I have started earlier and should be more skilled in my 30s, I already feel like my body is betraying me. Sewing makes me sore. Everywhere. How much longer do I even have with this hobby before my body won't let me do it?