Even as much as we are very well adapted to living as a system, managing dissociative amnesia and navigating life and relationships with it, and even with how much we have shaped our lifestyle to accommodate it, some things about having DID are just stupidly and pointlessly internalized in the literal most ridiculous ways and it’s just frustrating. 

Growing up with a brain that compartmentalizes and conceptualizes self and trauma in whatever way makes sense to a child’s developing brain and builds it off of that just ends up with some really annoying results.

Now that most of the awe and shock of “oh new parts and figuring out the life style” and the “mystique of having this weird disorder” has pretty much all passed, this disorder is just frustrating, annoying, and a pain in the ass to deal with.

We all love each other, and having alters is not something we hate really. We don’t have much issue with each other and that is all coped with. It is just everything else BESIDES the alter symptom that comes with this disorder that makes us all just so damn tired. 

And with that being said, having DID is not just “alters disorder” or “being plural” or “having multiple personalities” or whatever. Its a dumbass chronic dissociative disorder formed from a really pervasive and maladaptive coping mechanism due to really early childhood trauma.

If you think a disorder caused from really early childhood trauma has the main and most important symptom being alters, then you really really do not understand how badly trauma fucks with psychological development.

I’m so over having this disorder right now. 

Anyways, feel free to reblog and converse cause god damn am I bitter about how this brain has screwed me over with how it likes to compartmentalize stupidly way too many times.