RANGERS

“When you least expect it, nature has cunning ways of finding our weakest spot.”

as requested by @ambitionbled (it won’t let me tag you, sorry!)

CONCERN.

❝How much have you had to drink?❞

❝You could have fucking alcohol poisoning!❞  

❝Easy, there. Try to sit up.❞

❝I think I might’ve overdone it on the alcohol…❞

❝We’ve got to go get your stomach pumped.❞

❝I thought you said you were clean!❞

❝Yes, it is a big deal.❞

❝Let me drive you home.❞

❝You are NOT driving like this!❞

❝You are gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow.❞

❝Drinking until you puke is not normal.❞

DRUNK.

❝Is this real life?❞ 

❝I want to go to sleep but I can’t find any sheep.❞

❝How do you show fish affection?❞

❝Taco Bell is open 24 hours, right?❞

❝Tequila is not my friend? YOU’RE not my friend.❞

❝Drunk I am not.❞

-glasses on head- ❝Where did I put my glasses?❞

❝How do I tell my parents I’m a mermaid?❞ 

❝I’m not even tired.❞

❝I should call my ex.❞

❝I’m not drunk enough for this.❞

❝Does playing Mario Kart drunk count as drunk driving?❞

-hugging the floor- ❝I’m trying to stop the floor from spinning.❞

❝Can we go out for fried chicken?❞

ANGST.

❝What’s the fucking point anymore?❞

❝Screw recovery. I want a drink.❞

❝I’m too sober for this shit.❞ 

❝I don’t give a shit what you think.❞

❝I seriously don’t feel too good.❞

❝I didn’t even have that much to drink.❞

❝Will you stop fucking interrogating me?❞

❝I can drive. I’m fine.❞

❝There’s a reason I drink so much.❞

❝You’re the reason I drink so much.❞

❝I’m only happy when I’m drunk.❞

FLUFF/FUN.

❝You’re cute, you know that?❞ 

❝You wanna get wasted?❞

❝I’m bar-hopping tonight, wanna come?❞

❝What are you drinking, and why aren’t you sharing?❞

❝I’m having a party for two.❞

❝You’re so hot.❞

❝I’m usually too chicken-shit to say this, but…I really like you.❞

❝I don’t want to kiss you with your alcohol breath.❞

*kisses on forehead*

*kisses on cheek*