I lost my best friend 3 years ago- not lost as in dead but lost as in we only text each other on our birthdays now. Movies and books don't tell you that a friendship dying is like the sinking of a ship, you try to get higher and higher and hold onto the rails and unanswered texts, the captain tries to steer it to safety and salvage pieces of two broken hearts until you're left with memories of what once was. We were friends for a decade and knew each other's diaries by heart, I still remember her phone number and the way she took her coffee. Seeing her in streets is like breathing in a scent you forgot you knew but it immediately takes you back to a summer in '07.

And maybe one day, I won't remember the way your nose is slightly crooked or the way you take your coffee and maybe I won't even remember your name but I'll know I knew you, by the way your breaths remind me of bygone winters, the way a scared little rat knows a ship will sink, it just knows.