Stages of Relationships Starters
โWill you go out with me?โ
โWhat do you say? You and me, that great pizza place downtown, tonight?โ
โYou lookโ amazing tonight.โ
โJust one date. I promise. You wonโt regret it.โ
โI had an amazing time tonight. Iโd love to do it again, sometime.โ
โI know weโve only just met, but Iโd really like to take you out tonight.โ
โI promise, Iโm usually better at thisโโ
โThis is my favorite restaurant. Youโre gonna love it.โ
โWow, you look even better than your online profile.โ
โItโs so amazing to finally meet you, in person.โ
โDo youโ wanna come upstairs/inside?โ
โI can walk you home, if youโd like.โ
โI wasnโt sure youโd show up. But Iโm glad you did.โ
โI was starting to think youโd stood me up.โ
โOh, God, my ex is here.โ
โSo, do I get a goodnight kiss?โ
โIโm not great at first impressions, am I?โ
โI know weโve been on two dates this week, alreadyโ but how about another?โ
โWhoa, that is off-limits until, like, the tenth date!โ
โWait, youโve really never been on a date before?โ
Stage 2 โ Love/Intimacy:
โI think Iโm in love with you.โ
โPleaseโ just kiss me.โ
โI donโt want you to go. Stay the night?โ
โCome a little closerโ please.โ
โDo you think you might be readyโ to take the next step?โ
โI didnโt know what real happiness was until I met you.โ
โGod, you are so perfect.โ
โStopโ youโre making me blush.โ
โJust when I thought I couldnโt possibly love you moreโyou do this.โ
โI know itโs soon, but I think Iโm falling in love with you.โ
โIโve been in love with you for monthsโI was just too scared to admit it.โ
โJust one more kissโokay, one moreโjust one moโโ
Soโhow do you say โI love youโ in your mother tongue?โ
โIโm sorryโ Iโm just not ready for sex, yet.โ
โMy roommate is out of townโwhy donโt you just stay over?โ
โSo, I was googling ideas for our date. I found something called Netflix & ChillโI think we should do that.โ
โI think we should move-in together.โ
Stage 3 โ Marriage Proposal:
โ_____, will you marry me?โ
โI want to spend the rest of my life with you.โ
โI always thought that marriage was just a shameโ but with you, I think itโs worth it.โ
โRemember that time when (insert significant moment)? It got me thinking.โ
โSo, thereโs something Iโve been wanting to ask you for awhile now.โ
โIโve been carrying this around in my pocket for a month, waiting for the right time. There is no right moment. So, Iโm just going to go ahead and ask right now.โ
โYou make me a better person, and I want that forever.โ
โLetโs run away together. Elope. Sounds like an adventure.โ
โDammit, my hands are shaking. Hold on, Iโm super nervous.โ
โCan we talk about this in private?โ
โWhy are you kneeling?โ
โIโI donโt know what to say?โ
โI thought you didnโt want to get married.โ
โI knew there was a reason you were acting funny all day!โ
โSo, whatโs the occasion? You never plan dates this fancy.โ
โI know I said I didnโt want to settle down, butโโ
โI asked your dad for your hand in marriage. Now, itโs time to ask you.โ
โOf course Iโll marry you. Did you think Iโd say โnoโ?โ
โIf this is about the babyโ donโt do this. Thatโs not a good reason to get married.โ
Stage 4 โ Wedding & Honeymoon:
โIโm so nervous I could throw up. Someone get me a drink!โ
โPlease, get some sleep. Our big day is tomorrow. Itโs gonna be amazing!โ
โI canโt wait to marry you tomorrow.โ
โNah, omens are fake. No one believes that stuff. Tomorrow is gonna be perfect.โ
โI promise Iโm not getting cold feet, Iโm just really nervous my ex is going to show up and ruin everything.โ
โWeโre married! Weโre actually married now. I get to call you my husband/wife forever!โ
โI know the guests are waiting at the receptionโbut I need a few minutes alone with my new wife/husband. Come here, youโโ
โDo you think weโd get in trouble for skipping our own reception? I canโt wait to get out of here and start our honeymoon!โ
โI know itโs supposedly bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the weddingโ but how do I look?โ
โPop the champagne! Letโs get this party started!โ
โI know this day has been a disaster from the startโbut Iโve never been happier, now that youโre mine.โ
โIโd like to propose a toast to my bride/groomโโ
โWowโyou look stunning!โ
โDonโt panicโ but I the best man/maid of honor is MIA.โ
โThis day has been perfect. I hope the rest of our lives together is just as amazing.โ
โLast night was amazing. Iโm glad we waited until we were married.โ
โLetโs just stay in bed all day. Order room service. Maybe have a bubble bath. I have you all to myself, now.โ
Stage 5 โ Domestic Life:
โThe food is not burnt. Itโsโslightly toasted.โ
โTampons? You want me to buy you tampons? Me?โ
โWhat do you mean, you lost the keys? This is the third time this week.โ
โChange the channel, and I will kill you. Iโve been waiting for this show all day.โ
โMy underwear are all bright pink, now. Thank you for that.โ
โDid you forget to walk the dog? He just made a puddle on the floor.โ
โYou, me, PJโs, bed. PJโs are totally optional, by the way.โ
โI know you donโt like my parents, but we have to visit them sometime.โ
โHow about we never mention this situation again?โ
โYou should call the doctor about that. Donโt try to macho your way through it.โ
โSo, I got all the groceries. Except for this last one on the list. Is that an actual word, or did you just scribble something random with your elbow?โ
โDid you steal my shirt again?โ
โI made dinner. Your favorite.โ
โWaitโyou want me to wear that? In bed? It doesnโt cover anything!โ
โI just bought this dress/shirt/etc at the store today. How do I look?โ
โYou look tense. You want a massage?โ
โI just started a bath. Care to join me?โ
โThank you for taking care of the laundry.โ
โDid you pay the bills today? I donโt get paid until tomorrow.โ
โI couldnโt sleep either. Want me to make you some tea?โ
Stage 6 โ Pregnancy & Birth:
โI think I want to start a family, now.โ
โWhat do you say we make a baby tonight?โ
โWhat do you mean, you stopped taking your birth control?!โ
โIโm out of condoms. Are you sure you still want to do this?โ
โSoโif we were to hypothetically have a baby, how would you react?โ
โI took a pregnancy test today.โ
โHave you been to the doctor yet, about that stomach bug?โ
โYouโre pregnant!? How far along?โ
โWhen were you gonna tell me you were pregnant?โ
โWe havenโt told _____, yet. We should call them.โ
โWho do you think we should name the godparents?โ
โHow are you feeling? Need me to rub your back? Get you something to eat? Turn the air down?โ
โWhat do you think about (insert baby name), for a girlโ or (insert baby name) for a boy?โ
โDo you want to feel them? Theyโre kicking up a storm, right now.โ
โDid you hear that? They said weโre having a boy/girl!โ
โPlease donโt freak out, but Iโm pregnantโ I SAID DONโT FREAK OUT!โ
โI think my water just broke!โ
โWe need to go to the hospital. Now!โ
โJust squeeze my hand. Itโs gonna be alright. Iโm here.โ
โOne more push! You can do it!โ
โThey have your eyesโโ
โCan you run to the store? Weโre out of diapers, again.โ
โIs it even possible for one baby to scream so much?โ
โUgh, they spit up on my good shirt.โ
โTheyโre your kid before 5am.โ
Shhhโtheyโre finally asleep.โ
โIโve been up since 4am. Itโs your turn.โ
โWe make damn beautiful babies, donโt we?โ
โThe kids wonโt stop fighting, again.โ
โ_____ got sent home from school for fighting.โ
โ_____ came home sick today. Great.โ
โHow do they outgrow their clothes so damn fast?โ
โTheir first word better not be a curse word. If it is, itโs your fault.โ
โI think weโre damn good parents.โ
โWhy are both you, AND the baby, crying?โ
โCan you help _____ with their homework tonight, while I make dinner?โ
โItโs your turn to change the dirty diaper.โ
โIs locking the kids in the closetโagainst the law?โ
โNo. Sheโs not allowed to date. Ever. End of discussion.โ
โWow, they have a very natural talent for _____. Maybe theyโll be a _____ when they grow up.โ