sips moon water through a bendy straw

He’s the sound of your heart beating, and lets you know you’re still alive.

He’s the courage to keep going, no matter what happens.

He’s the feeling of doing what you needed to.

He’s the feeling of not being afraid anymore.

He is Strength and Courage.

in our first scene as him, he’s spacing out, staring off to the side, despite actively being in conversation with anya. this could very well be dissociation.

anya then says that she wishes he would open up more. this is in the context of a psych evaluation, so the implication is that she believes curly is holding back mental/emotional struggles.

the whole blood lake scene. i personally didn’t interpret that as a diegetic hallucination, but it still certainly speaks to curly’s mental health! yes, it’s supposed to be a red herring over the cause of the crash and has all sorts of symbolism to do with the wider story, but i believe it’s meant to represent an anxiety attack, which is repressed when curly reaches the cockpit in the white void. the sudden build-up of noise and anxiety-inducing visuals feels a lot like my own anxiety.

“standing on the edge of a bridge with your feet in cement.” this an interesting line that i’ve seen a lot of interpretations of, but in my mind it implies suicidal ideation. yes, “feet in cement” brings up cement shoes, which are traditionally a murder method, but “standing on the edge of a bridge” has heavy implications of jumping off. curly does not deny jimmy’s assessment of him whatsoever. it’s interesting that this is coming from jimmy, who is shown in multiple scenes pre-crash to be attuned to curly’s emotional state enough to recognize when he’s distressed before anyone else.

“i’m just working on my life being a place i don’t have to fucking escape!” generally, people who are emotionally and mentally healthy do not feel the need “to fucking escape” their lives. this is also the ONLY time in the game that curly raises his voice at jimmy (edit: forgot about “what the fuck did you do?”).

curly has another weird anxiety musical sting while cutting the cake.

while heading to jimmy in the final sequence before the crash, curly has his least subtle anxiety attack, with his heart audibly pounding in the soundtrack. after jimmy leaves, curly can be heard breathing heavily to calm himself down.

curly’s “take responsibility,” “kills 99% percent,” “take care of it,” “system failure,” and “safety” flashes come across as bursts of anxiety.

he shuts down during intense conversations, which— apart from being a sign of trauma/abuse— can be a sign of anxiety or dissociation.

Something interesting to note, that others have pointed out before. As curly rushes to jimmy, the sound track sounds like a racing heartbeat. Curly is panicking here, maybe even on the verge of an anxiety attack or panic attack

shoutout to people who don't have any sweet or nostalgic childhood memories. to people who don't remember enough of their childhood to know what the before was like. to people who lost their innocence before they ever learned the word for it. to people whose pasts were too painful to keep around in any form. to people who only knew trauma, and don't have an idea of what life would be like without it. to people who can't long for "the better days" because there weren't any.

dead pixel

i'm tired right now so this might not make sense so i'm sorry in advance. ALSO TO PREFACE: THIS IS NOT IN DEFENSE OF JIMMY'S ACTIONS!! just some personal pet peeves. also, I understand that these can be unserious as tiktok is pretty brainrot but i just had to say it somewhere.

i recently watched a mouthwashing play through after my fyp was flooded with memes, edits, and think pieces. the edits did a good job with getting me hooked, i'll admit. however the way some people talk about jimmy's character is kind of annoying? this isn't to police how people interact with media because who am i to say?

we all know that jimmy is a terrible person. that's obvious. he raped anya, one of the worst things -- if not THE worst you can do to another person. HOWEVER, the way people characterize him is quite strange. i see a lot of people say he probably stinks and doesn't take care of himself. a lot of people also choose to portray him ugly and low effort. i find this particularly odd because i feel like it pushes that rapists are ugly or dirty which is not always true? a rapist isn't always a stinky, dirty looking man hiding in an alleyway, it can be a handsome rich guy who drowns himself in cologne. it can be a good friend you've known for years, a family member, a coworker -- which in this case it was. another pet peeve is when they attach all these negative traits to him just because he did what he did -- almost making him some unrealistic level of evil despite him already being horrible.. is it reasonable to assert he may be a misogynist? yes. is it reasonable to say he stomps on puppies and tortures kittens in his spare time? i don't know.

what makes jimmy scary in my opinion is that he's a regular guy -- albeit an asshole. i feel like trying to put him into this stereotypical box of what a bad person looks like is a disservice, i feel.

Jimmy’s character is 100% more tragic, heartwrenching, and disturbing if u think of him as someone who had good inside him, who could have done better, and yet chose not to.