active march 2021

there are 1.4k ed accounts following me, and counting.

meaning approximately 140 of us will die from this disease.

could be me. could be you.

i'm not trying to scare you into recovery, i know it won't work. but as someone who've been in and out of hospital her entire life because of her ed, i feel obligated to remind you, skinny is not worth dying.

you don't care for staying alive? you don't see a point to live? well then, let me tell you what's gonna happen. you're gonna be hospitalized when it gets worse and they're gonna put you on iv, put you on meds you'll have to take for the rest of your life and make you eat hospital food if you're lucky enough to not be tube-fed. when that happens you're gonna beg those doctors to just let you die but they won't.

i know you've seen people who achieved their goal weights but just because they look good doesn't mean their bodies aren't in a fucked up condition.

you see thigh gaps, right? what you don't see is memory loss, heart problems, loss of hair, organ failure and many more.

because there's no happy endings to eating disorders.

the post is much scarier now, isn't it? eds can take so many people's life, including yours or your favorite mutual's.

you're still young. you're capable of recovering and living a full life. getting into collage, having your dream job, taking up hobbies, taking care of your pets, meeting the love of your life.

i know some of us have been suffering so long that it seems impossible to have all those in the future but i promise you, it's not.

your life will turn around and everything will be so wonderful to the point you'll say to yourself "huh, i could've missed all these things if i hadn't recovered can you believe it?" or "thinking about how i almost let my depression win and killed myself years ago, i can't even remember that feeling" and you'll shake your head, smiling. screw "iMaGinE yOu weRe skiNNi" posts. imagine this.

and not because i want more notes, more followers or anything.

i'm actually this close to begging people to not follow me. i don't want more followers, i don't want to trigger people with my posts even if i never mean to do that. it's genuinely upsetting to have an ed blog and watch your follow count go up, up, up.

i wilk regularly reblog this post because it's fucking IMPORTANT.

i know i'm repeating myself but it's so fucking important for every sick person to hear that recovery is the only good option here.

your body is NOT designed to take 300 cals everyday. your body is NOT designed for your b/p cycles. it's trying to survive anyway, it's trying to keep you alive but there's so much it can do and at some point IT WILL GIVE UP ON YOU.

The hunger is such a weird concept, like someone tells me they are hungry all the time and I’m like… Are you really? Like which kind of hunger?

The physical one?

The ‘it hurts’ one?

The passing out one?

The ‘I’m kinda feeling like eating this’ one?

The ‘im not full tho’ one?

The mental one?

The 'i only ate one rice cake, so I should eat something more’ one?

The boredom one?

Like?

And they are like wtf i’m just hungry, its not that complicated?

thank you