Dispatches from the Sydney Shatterdome

To all,

This is a reminder that tomorrow at 0630 you all will be expected in the Kwoon Combat Room for the annual refresher course.

Attendance is Mandatory.

To: {SSM/E - Sydney Shatterdome Maintenance and Engineering}, {SSM - Sydney Shatterdome Medical}, {SSL - Sydney Shatterdome LOCCENT}, {SSJ-T - Sydney Shatterdome Jaeger Technology}, {SSS-T - Sydney Shatterdome Strike Troop}, {SSK-S- Sydney Shatterdome Kaiju Science} BCC: Percival Moses, Marshall, [email protected] From: Janae Denzil, LOCCENT Officer, [email protected] Subject: POOL Update

Attachment: MSD Tournament Bracket

Good morning, Sydney Shatterdome, this is your LOCCENT Officer here.

As you all know our rangers are going for their MSD Refresher course, and as well all know that typically leads to rangers 1v1s.

Please see attached the order of matches as according to our wonderful Kwoon Fight Master. More excitingly here are the odds we have:

2-1: Ranger Hercules Hansen and Ranger Evan Henare are the final match. Safe bet considering their military history.

3-1: Ranger Wamarie Anderson sends Ranger Scott Hansen to the ground. Literal embodiment of ‘the bigger they are the harder they fall’.

4-1: Ranger Hercules Hansen and Ranger Scott Hansen get caught in their own argument.

6-1: Ranger Joshua Griffin defeats Ranger Evan Henare.

10-1: Ranger Waimarie Anderson is in the last 3 rangers still standing. Master Yoda may say size matters not, but to some it does.

Reminder: All bets must be placed in AUD, any other form of currency will not be accepted (sorry Kiwi Brethren but you are in a major Australian city). No bets will be accepted after 2230 AEST, today.

May the odds be in your favour as they say,

Denzil.

To: Janae Denzil, LOCCENT Officer, [email protected] From: Percival Moses, Marshall, [email protected] Subject: re: POOL Update

Put me down for “10-1: Ranger Waimarie Anderson is in the last 3 rangers still standing.” When she finds out about those odds, she’ll take it just to spite you.

To: Percival Moses, Marshall, [email protected] From: Janae Denzil, LOCCENT Officer, [email protected] Subject: re: re: POOL Update

That’s what I hope for.

To: Waimarie Anderson, Jaeger Pilot, [email protected] From: Percival Moses, Marshall, [email protected] Subject: FWD: POOL Update

Attachment: MR_Wells_2017_08_25

Good Morning Commander,

Please be advised that attached is a Medical Report pertaining to something that occurred during the night

Please do not ask me about the how and why this event occurred. All I will say is this is the hazards of employing the military.

With tired regards,

Dr Cameron Medev.

MR_Wells_2017_08_25

Date: 25th of August, 2017

Patient: Mechanic Oliver Wells

Attending Physician: Dr Cameron Medev

Date of Treatment: 24th of August, 2017

Time of Treatment: 2345hrs (11:45pm AEST)

Description of Injury: Mild TBI

Description of Treatment: Upon arrival at the Medical Bay J-Tech Mechanic Wells was conscious but a tad disoriented. While speech was clear, there were signs of a hematoma on the left side of his head.

Referrals/ Continued Treatment Plan: Following the initial assessment, medical staff arranged for a CT Scan. No subdural hematoma was found, Mechanic Wells is being kept in close observation until next assessment.

Signature:

Dr. C. Medev

To: Percival Moses, Marshall, [email protected] From: Adrian Stevens, Chief Engineer, [email protected] Subject: Incident Report 24/08

Attachment: IR_Wells_2017_08_24

Hello Commander,

Please see attached the Incident Report about what occurred during the night

All details can be found there, else do feel free to ask those involved.

Adrian Stevens.

IR_Wells_2017_08_24

Date of Report: 24th of August, 2017

Report By

Full Name: Adrian Stevens 

Title/ Role: Chief Engineer

Signature:

A. Stevens

Date: 24/08/2017

Description of Incident

Date of Incident: 24th of August, 2017

Time: 2335hrs

Location: Engineer’s Wing of the Living Quarters

Incident Details: Apparently it was decided following the close of workshop today among the Mechanics to follow a military social media trend. And J-Tech Mechanic Wells became a victim of circumstances because of other people’s decisions. And now I am going to be victimised by their decisions, in trying to explain what they did.

Mechanics Chen and Ross decided on a trend which involved one asking the other for a handkerchief. In this case Chen asked and Ross proceeded to walk over to Mechanic Wells who was apparently minding his own business, before finding himself (in Ross’ own words) “inadvertently yeeted from the doorway and bumped his head on the wall”. Apparently the intention was that the shirt would rip and be given to Chen, however it turns out PPDC standard issue shirts are impenetrable to former army stupidity.

Action Taken

Description: Mechanic Wells was taken to Medical, Mechanics Ross and Chen have been disciplined and have been put on lavatory duty for the next fortnight.

To: Cameron Medev, Chief Medical Officer, [email protected] From: Percival Moses, Marshall, [email protected] Subject: I’m surrounded by idiots

Cameron,

What do they MEAN it was a MilitaryTok trend????

From the end of my rope,

Announcement from Commander Percival Moses, Base Commander for the Sydney Shatterdome.

In light of recent events... I felt it was time to once more to highlight how I appreciate each and every one of you.

This was never to be an easy task we were given and as the years have ticked away it was quite clear the cost we would have to pay. It is not an easy or a light cost fate asks of us. But I am proud of how each of you have... or had... risen up to accept that price.

It's been a hard week for us all. And it's been a grave reminder of that cost.

Certainly it's taken me a week to will myself to write this, but this is something I felt I must do.

Do not think for even a second that anyone on this base is not important, not vital to what we do.

Do not think that you must be alone in what you do or how you feel.

I hope the over the five years that I have been commander, that I have encouraged our Shatterdome to grow to be community and grow to be a family.

Feel what you feel, do not hide nor bury it.

Process it, reflect and mourn. But do not get lost.

Our time hasn't been called yet and we still have much to do. And as we rise to answer that call, know that I am proud to be your commander.

Your Base Dad,

Com. Perc Moses.

Baby Hansen is as Baby Hansen does.

That is to say the kids still got a perpetual stick up his ass but he behaves when he needs to.

As to how everything is going, do you want the official or the unofficial answer? As the two of those are VERY different.

Regards,

Commander Percival Moses.

Announcement from Commander Percival Moses, Base Commander for the Sydney Shatterdome.

RE: https://sydneyshatterdomeshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/646574768164847616/25th-of-march-2019-announcement-from-commander and https://sydneyshatterdomeshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/646576588486541312/26th-of-march-2019-announcement-from-commander

Firstly, of course it was Rory who started this whole idea. Who else would I expect. Kid you’re going to make my grey hairs go white.

BUT EVAN. For the love of my sanity, Evan what made you decide to join in. You’re supposed to be the rational one kid. Having a ‘very long, hard day’ doesn’t explain you think sipping wine while in a bubble and bath bomb filled heated pool isn’t going to give me a headache.

Joshua? Tyler? You’re next.

Announcement from Commander Percival Moses, Base Commander for the Sydney Shatterdome.

RE: https://sydneyshatterdomeshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/646574768164847616/25th-of-march-2019-announcement-from-commander

It has come to my attention that the use of bath bombs in the heated pool has been answered thanks to Tik-Tok.

I have a list of a handful of names (surprise surprise they’re all rangers) that have apparently decided to make a series of reviews of bath bombs.

Please for the love of my sanity do not use the heated pool for this review. PLEASE.

Also please for the peace of the bloody land – DO NOT RAID DR WAITER’S BATH BOMBS.

Announcement from Commander Percival Moses, Base Commander for the Sydney Shatterdome.

I’m… Okay I’m going to cut to the chase. Who used the heated pool – THAT IS SPECIFICALLY FOR RECOVERY POST DROPS – as a site to drop bath bombs?

Where did you even get the bath bombs???

Needless to say, the small heated pool is sadly out of order, as it’s been cleaned. How a bathbomb made that much bubbles is equally beyond me.

People, do me a favour? If you want bath bombs – and I cannot believe I am saying this – please buy yourselves a kiddie pool and do it the hard way.

Announcement from Commander Percival Moses, Base Commander for the Sydney Shatterdome.

Once more it is that time of the year where the chocolates are everywhere and you all assault my eyes with pinks and reds.

I hope though that you all have been enjoying today

I see though we’ve upgraded from throwing petals to bouquets at 20 paces.. Please ensure these do not become obstructions and disappear tomorrow… we don’t need confused bees.

Fan mail has arrived… so please rangers collect your mail before LOCCENT Officer Denzil does something with them

Lastly… whoever it was that decided to trick me into a date with our bases Head Doctor, Dr. Nancy Waiter, I’m going to find you and you’re going to be doing clean-up duties for a week.

For the love of my sweet sanity Rory... the message board isn’t Tinder. Don’t encourage this kid.

I do NOT need a revisit of pings at 2am in the morning from the folks in the USA that apparently have nothing better to do than to thirst.

I’d like to have SOME FORM OF SLEEP.

Signed,

Look if I knew how to do that I would have done that ages ago... for the unmentionable one.

Signed,

At this point I’m wondering why I am even getting this message, but I second this statement.

I do NOT need a ‘Hansen Hassle Part 2: Baby Hansen on the Prowl’ Kid.

Signed,

...

See these messages kid:

https://sydneyshatterdomeshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/633173053923344384/is-ranger-rory-single

https://sydneyshatterdomeshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/634832251488747520/rory-here-single-i-love-you-too-anon-and-i-like

1. Don’t throw chocolate at each other. It’s summer. It will melt. Need I say more?

2. If you’re going to do cupid patrol again in pink PLEASE make it hi-vis pink.

3. Don’t ask me about my love life, just don’t.

4. Stop throwing petals on the ground.

5. Storage cupboards/rooms are not places to make out - I’m looking at you Ranger Hansen.

6. IF SOMEONE SAYS NO THEY SAY NO.

Other than that, have fun... use protection...? Just don’t do anything stupid.

Regards,

Announcement from Commander Percival Moses, Base Commander for the Sydney Shatterdome.

As 2020 draws to a close there is a few things I wish to say

Firstly.

Good /baguette/ riddance. This year honestly could go get /lollipop/. With all the /margaritas/ this /billy bois/ hole of a year handed us.

(Sorry boss but it’s for the best. – Henare)

Secondly, as it may be clear I know this year has been a year to add to the ‘years that ducked me over’ but I’m proud of you all.

This has been the year were we lost people, good people, not just in death but in the stress and strain the cost it held on others. This has been a year where we have had to scrape things together and hope for the best.

And let’s be honest with ourselves, life was never normal; life is filled with challenges, toils and snares. But we take each day, each month and each year as it comes. And that is exactly what we did this year.

Despite our losses, despite the faltering hope and exhaustion we are still here. We still have each others’ backs. We look after each other and celebrate each small victory as it comes.

And I am proud of you all for that.

It was not easy. Not one bit. But you all did it and you did it to the best of your abilities you could round up at the time. And there is no fault to find in that. Now take a breath, eat, drink, let yourselves be merry. Take this found family of ours and savour the highs after so many lows.

So with that well done, celebrate, rest and then work hard but look after yourselves. We cannot be a well-oiled machine if any part of the engine that keeps it running wears out. We can’t catch anyone slipping if we ourselves are slipping.

Signed,

Rory.....

Firstly, beaches are off limits.

Secondly, my announcement board is NOT tinder - PLEASE refrain from treating it as such.