you know like, ✊Nya?

can i get a hell yea if you’re still gonna be wasting your time on this website in 2014

babe what's wrong? you've hardly touched your 200 fics you opened in a new tab and swore you'd get to at some point but never had the time or motivation to read

cell phone doesn't like water because it is a combination of the other three elements. it is a rock (earth) that we fill with lightning (fire) that can control radio waves (air). if it contained water too, it would be too perfect; it would be like a god. to prevent this, the universe kills the would be uniter-of-the-elements. it's basic science.

Hey op google what LCD stands for

i took an oath in third grade to never do drugs

*visibly shaking* i am So Normal about this piece of media you Don’t Even Know

We have underestimated the comedic genius of the elderly when presented with technology

me in the pussy if im being fully honest

i appreciate your candid tell all style approach to my posts

I’m calling it now, “I bet you did numbers on twitter” will become a new insult on tumblr.com.

I bet this did numbers on twitter

Can now confirm through first hand experience that being accused of having migrated from twitter when I’ve been here for years is, in fact, a devastating insult

This sounds like a shitpost but people should be allowed to be horny. As in, sexuality is just part of life for most people and there’s no reason for consensual sexual behavior to be punished. A celebrity getting “caught” at a sex club shouldn’t be a scandal. No one should be fired for having a fetlife profile outside of work. Nudes getting leaked shouldn’t be career-ending. Denying and hiding (consensual) sexual interests doesn’t make anyone more professional, it just makes everyone more repressed. And sterilizing ourselves to be better work drones isn’t productive, it’s just creepy. I’d rather my surgeon get absolutely railed on camera and come to work in a good mood, frankly.