yours truly

currently drinking juice with my custom krazy straw that says “bitch” while wearing comically large sunglasses and i think im finding my true self rn tbh

How long must you suck in order for you to finally get the juice?

not gonna lie it takes a few seconds but whats the point of being a bitch if im not gonna be over the top

who needs people when dogs are always nice to u

hey its me, your local burden,

I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism. If I don’t pay it back, I’m going to get repossessed

Y’are what y’eet

I hate it when you’re reading smut and you can’t figure out what position they’re in.

ITS BACK

lord 

Y’ALL NEED JESUS

Please stop reblogging this post

nah whenever this appears on my dash i laugh for years

I have a real problem fighting down the impulse to just reach down into the frying pan and flip whatever it is I’m frying over with my bare hands. Like I’ll be fiddling around down there with some fucking spatula or whatever and some part of me will be like “you can just reach down if you’re quick and precise enough. It’ll be fine don’t worry”

hope your pets stay healthy in 2017

I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty

Not risking it

hope ya pets even healthier in 2018

If someone’s okay with losing you, they never really cared for you.

Is it just me or was this year like … Really fucking overwhelming? Like everything’s that’s happened to you this year has shaped you into a completely different person that you were at the beginning of this year