aliens exist

[MSG:] im like 80% sure ur actually the devil

[MSG:] u owe me a bottle of wine

[MSG:] ??????

[MSG:] why not??

[MSG:] it works pretty well doesnt it

[MSG:] yeah im good!! thanks for asking

[MSG:] the best

[MSG:] u should try it

[MSG:] but like....a different milf

[MSG:] wow thanks ur such a good girlfriend

[MSG:] u should have just got in bed with me

[MSG:] would have been even sweeter [sunglasses emoji]

[MSG:] umm what kind of question is this of course i do??

[MSG:] do u know where my room is

[MSG:] where are u staying actually

[MSG:] id say same but i borrow all my video games from cash

[MSG:] u know whats under $20 and is better than video games??

[MSG:] wow

[MSG:] didn’t think u of all people would get in touch

[MSG:] who told you about it??

[MSG:] for the aesthetic?? clearly

[MSG:] u just have to stand there and look like ur usual tattooed self

[MSG:] we could give u some kind of instrument i guess

[MSG:] i taste like candy because.....im super sweet [angel emoji]

[MSG:] nah idk

[MSG:] thanks for the compliments anyway

[MSG:] uh clearly thats a lie

[MSG:] why else would u wanna come on this camping trip

[MSG:] u hate everything

[MSG:] okay that emoji was just rude

[MSG:] also im more than a lil bit offended

[MSG:] like u’ve seen my boobs before

[MSG:] im pretty sure u actually touched my nipples

[MSG:] but u wont even kiss me for science

[MSG:] i hate you more [angry emoji]

[20 minutes later]

[MSG:] nothin awkward about it dw!!!

[MSG:] ur a good kisser btw

[MSG:] now u can brag that i, sammy, kisser of many people, said u were a good kisser

[MSG:] IT WASN’T ME!!!!!!

[MSG:] WTF

[MSG:] lowkey wish it was but thats besides the point