i was so fucking down for you

you never really paid attention to me and i feel like an idiot because i gave you everything i had in me and not once did you ever fucking reciprocate

you hurt me

so i guess she's worth stepping out of your comfort zone?

i'm crying over you while you're sound asleep at 4:30am

i just really need someone right now

fuck you for making a joke out of my feelings

please just be honest with me, i'm too vulnerable to be lied to again

i know you're scared to step out of your comfort zone but i hope you look at me and think 'wow i think she's worth it'

we could keep acting scared or we could just fucking take a risk and see where this goes

i never thought i would be admitting this but i feel like i have given up on you i don't look for you in a room full of people anymore i don't miss being in your presence anymore i don't question where you are, how have you been, what have you been up to anymore i don't seek for your attention anymore but i also admit your name still creeps up in the back of my mind and my tears still shed and my heart still shatters but it doesn't happen as often anymore

things never went the way she wanted them to so she finally decided to give up

i can't fucking get you out of my mind

sadly, i'll lay next to my crying child one day and they'll be crying over their first heartbreak and you'll appear in the back of my mind, all the tears i cried and all the screams i yelled all the days i sat still and all the times i wished it were you how much i wanted it to be you but we just never happened but i'll hold my beautiful child in my arms stroke their hair, wipe their tears and tell them about that boy who i fell so fucking hard for before their dad came into my life. i'll tell them how you made me feel what you turned me in to. and yes, it breaks my heart that you're just going to be one of those heartbreak stories that i'll share it makes me sad but what happened, happened and things happen sometimes because they have to, in order for you to be where you need to be right now.

she says she misses you she says she loves you she says she needs you she says she wants you and all i can do is sit outside and say 'me too'

and she bites her tongue whenever she feels your fucking name crawl up her throat and she slaps her cheeks whenever she feels them burning at the thought of you and she crosses her fingers whenever she hopes that you won't be the next one to walk through the door and she holds her breath whenever she shares the same air as you so she doesn't have to feel the toxic oxygen fill up her lungs the way you already did