Maggie Maggie Mags

The nude beach has the best seashells. This fucking sucks. I love seashells but I hate penis.

The Masc of Amontillado

you could do awesome stuff in the year 2010 you could make a fat nasty burger that drips sauce and tastes bad and make a commercial where you say "the burger so nasty... only a mother could love it. are you mom enough?" and its called the MothaLova Burga and this can only happen in 2010

happy pride month everybody

in a hotel room very cautiously removing my clothing slowly and constantly looking around the room shifty and scared as fuck anticipating attacks while a beautiful pair of women sitting side by side on the bed in matching lingerie excitedly but restrained with carefully lowered vioices cheer me on. they say Yes thats it thats how sex works! youre doing it right yeah! youve got it keep going! and im finally down to a sports bra and one tube sock when a car alarm putside startles me and i lunge for the empty handgun on the floor and put it in my mouth while they panic and scramble trying to calm me down petting my hair and cooing gently

You might try to hurt me but I have regenerative limbs and regenerative feelings and regenerative confidence