Family, demons and the past
"Here you are, Shinazugawa-san."
Sanemi didn't even look up. Instead, he kept staring at the pond, picked up a stone and tossed it into the water. His keen senses had already identified the person standing behind him, even before he had heard the familiar voice.
"Kocho-san. Have you come to yell at me like Gyomei and the others?"
Only a handful of hours had passed since his not so glamorous performance during his first Hashira meeting. Something he still regretted – not that he'd let on to that. Especially since a few of the other Hashira had given him an earful afterwards. Now, he just wanted to be left the hell alone to digest everything. The last thing he needed was one more scolding.
"No."
That answer surprised him, and he looked up at the Flower Hashira. Kanae smiled down at him. Without asking for permission, she sat down next to him onto the grass in one elegant motion.
"I just wanted to talk with you, is all."
"Hmpf."
Sanemi studied her. The smile on her face seemed genuine, and it appeared she meant what she said. Good. Having to listen to the other Hashiras' complaints after his blunder had been annoying enough. Plus… Kanae had something about her that made him want to be nice to her. She generally seemed to be far less annoying than his other new Hashira comrades. So, why the hell not.
"What about?", he relented.
"Oh, nothing in particular. You might get angry, but… I thought that you might want to have someone to talk to. I have a nagging suspicion that you don't have such a person."
Oho. Sanemi lifted an eyebrow, impressed. Someone seemed to be good at reading people. Still, he didn't really feel ready to talk about any of it.
"What the hell is it to you?", he said without anger in his voice and tossed another pebble into the pond. Watched the tiny waved expanding from where it fell into the water.
A small sigh.
"Shinazugawa-san…"
"Sanemi."
"What?"
"Please, call me Sanemi."
Another smile. "Very well. But only if you call me Kanae."
Sanemi threw her a sideways glance. He supposed he could do that. Was only fair, too, as he insisted on her using his first name.
"Fine. Kanae it is."
She nodded, then her expression became serious again.
"You asked what it is to me." She glanced up at the sky. A shadow of sadness settled on her face. The Wind Hashira felt the sudden urge to wipe it away. "I just think that nobody should be alone."
Those words hit Sanemi more than he'd like to admit. For a moment, his mind wandered back to the time when he had hunted demons on his own. The time before Masachika found him and brought him into the fold of the Demon Slayer Corps.
Still, there was no need to burden Kanae with all that.
"I am fine", he grumbled mellowly. "I could always take care of myself."
"Don't you think that sounds rather lonely?"
"I am not lonely."
"Are you sure? Well, if you don't want to talk with me… don't you have surviving family? A brother? Why don't you reconnect with him? I am certain…"
"No way!"
He didn't mean to. The angry shout escaped Sanemi on its own.
"No way in hell am I dragging Genya into this mess! He's gonna stay far away from demons and live a long, happy life! Unlike Shinobu, who you irresponsibly brought with you into the Corps!"
The Wind Hashira regretted those last words instantly. Especially when he saw hurt flash in Kanae's eyes. He stared at his feet.
"I'm sorry…"
"Apology accepted. Although, I will let you know that the decision for Shinobu joining the Corps with me was not an easy one. But it was hers, and as her older sister, I have to respect that. Besides, we both have the wish: To vanquish demons so nobody else will have to suffer through what we did. So who am I to deny her."
Well… that certainly was a wish Sanemi could understand. He too wanted to slay demons – for vengeance, and also to keep Genya safe.
Kanae continued talking, and the white-haired demon slayer let her. He had a feeling that she needed it, and that he was probably about to hear a story that he had heard in similar fashion before.
"Our life was a happy one. Until that one night, where a demon broke into our house and killed our parents, right before our eyes. As you know, it was Himejima-san who saved us at the last moment." Kanae looked up at the sky again, eyes filled with memories. "The decision Shinobu and I made was not an easy one. And we did think it over countless times. Himejima-san even warned us that as girls, we would have a harder time in the Corps than men. But that didn't bother me nor Shinobu. All I can do is to become as strong as I can, to kill demons that might prove too strong for her, and to make sure she has every means possible to defend herself."
"Well… Shinobu has quite the hand with poisons and medicines, doesn't she…"
At that, Kanae gave a small laugh. "Oh, yes, she does. She really is smart when it comes to those. Her aptitude for poisons will be quite the effective weapon against demons. One that will help her survive… Shinobu is not exactly the physically strongest fighter…"
A faint echo of worry rang in her voice. So despite her acceptance of Shinobu's choice, Kanae still was worried for her little sister. Sanemi could understand only too well. For a moment, he wondered that if Genya were to join the Corps, how strong he would be. What skills he would possess. But no… there was no way he was gonna let that happen. The Kocho sisters had chosen their way, but his and Genya's was a different one.
"I get it now why she joined the Corps as well", he admitted. "That was the choice of you two, and I respect that. However, I still would never want Genya to join."
Yes… it was better that little Genya stayed away from dangerous demons, and the big brother he saw as a monster now.
Kanae studied him for a while. "Sanemi… I think there is something more, something that you are not telling me. In fact, I don't know what exactly happened to you, besides your entire family having been killed by a demon except for that one brother of yours. So please, tell me… what exactly happened that night? Maybe… maybe it'll do you some good talking about it."
The Wind Hashira considered that for a long moment. Kanae seemed to really be concerned for him. Well, she was concerned about everyone, the kind heart that she was. But why did it feel to him as if she cared more for him than other people?
He signed, and reached his conclusion.
"Very well… I will tell you. But I warn you. It is not a pretty story, not even for one involving demons."
And so he told her everything about that dreadful day. By the end, her eyes were wide in shock, and she was covering her open mouth with one of her hands.
"Sanemi…", she finally managed to choke out. "I… I had no idea. Your own mother? And you had to kill her? Having your loved ones killed by demons is bad enough… but this has to be so much worse. I… I don't know if I would have been able to bring myself to do what you did, even if it was to protect Shinobu. No wonder there is so much anger and pain in you."
"I guess so…"
More, Sanemi didn't have to say. It still hurt. And he tried his best not to think about that moment. Instead, he did his best to channel his pain into his hatred of demons, focusing his energy to grow stronger and kill them.
"And your brother thinks you are a murderer? Didn't you try to tell him the truth?"
He shrugged. "Better than him having to face the reality of demons and that our own mother was turned into one, killing our siblings."
Kanae was silent for a long while. Then she said quietly: "Deep within that incredibly hard shell, you do harbor a kind heart, don't you."
At those words, Sanemi's cheeks heated up a little. Usually, he gave a rat's ass about what other people thought of him. But for some reason, hearing those words from Kanae filled him with a warm, fuzzy feeling he hadn't felt since he was a child - the last time he ever had been happy.
"J-just don't tell anyone", he mumbled, sheepishly staring at the ground.
The Flower Hashira chuckled. "Do not worry. Your secret is safe with me for as long as you wish. However… I pray that one day, you can open that kind heart so all the world can see it."
Sanemi started at her, at a loss for words. Her heartfelt wish had touched something deep within him, a part of himself that he had thought long since dead and buried.
"Th-thank you, I suppose…", he eventually replied. "I wish you and Shinobu also all the best. May the two of you be able to fight side by side for a long time."
Kanae gave him a warm smile. "My sincerest gratitude, Sanemi. I really appreciate those words. And let's work hard together, as fellow Hashira. For our siblings. For Oyakata-sama. And for a future where nobody will have to ever suffer at the hands of demons again."
She held out a hand. The white-haired demon slayer only hesitated the shortest of moments before he shook it.
"Yes. Let's give it our best."
Afterwards, they kept sitting at the pond in amiable silence for a while longer, enjoying the peace and quiet.
And for the first time in years… Sanemi felt a little bit at ease.









