i don't know what the hell i'm doing with my life

forgive yourself. all you were doing was what you thought was best at the moment. you didn’t have all of the information or awareness that you do now. treat your past self with love and compassion, they did all they could.

and by the way, i’m staying in tonight

i feel like this is the first point in taylors career where she’s kinda done with her own fanbase and is actually standing up to them a little bit. her publicly being annoyed about the scarf jokes and saying they can stop, plus her having 2 songs on midnights that were not-so subtly suggested to be about the people in certain parts of the fanbase weaving their made up stories about what her personal life/relationship is like. actively saying they are sometimes the reason she does not feel like a person. good for her. 

please see ‘you know how much I hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back’, ‘everyone keeps asking me if I’m gonna be your bride’, and her, in the anti-hero video, making fun of fans who think everything about her life is an easter egg

i love the way taylor is constantly like oh god how could you love me? i'm a fucking mess. then again, of course you love me, i'm the best. but seriously, please stay with me forever. not that i need to say that, i know you love me, you couldn't stay away from me if you tried. i do wish i could brainwash you into staying by my side though. god you're so OBSESSED WITH ME!!!

being at a taylor swift concert would fix me

taylor swift really said hi im depressed i hate myself i love myself i love you you’re the reason i exist did you ever fall in love with another girl do you wish you could still be with her will you leave me will you marry me then kill me for my money i want to be with you forever i want to leave you and make my own name im your best friend im a fuck up im your worst enemy

the funeral scene is even more sad and telling than the bridge because she’s not only having dreams about her daughter in law killing her for money, she dreams that her own children don’t see her as a person but only for what she can give them - money, possessions, connections. she just died and all they care about is what they are going to gain out of it

midnights by taylor swift is for the girls who fantasise about love because they feel that they could never deserve to actually experience it. the girls who are deeply flawed. the girls who make mistakes in trying to please everyone else, only to be told that they'll always be inadequate. the girls who fantasise about revenge on said people and feel like they'll never move on. the girls who need to plan their every move to even function through life and not get crushed by others, only to feel guilty for not being genuine enough. and of course, the girls who stay up at night thinking about missed opportunities and people, and every mistake they've ever made.

Midnights is for the girls who worked hard to get a life of their own, but now feel empty, it's the album you listen to when you're alone in the kitchen with no partner to cook with, no friends to go out with, no parents to comfort you. It's for the jo march girls, who gave up everything and everyone and pretend like it's alright but cry themselves to sleep every night, it's for the girls who stare at the ceiling for hours after coming home, it's for the masterminds, the people pleasers, for the girls who think they're unlovable, it's for the autumn/winter girls, it's for the girls who love rain and gloom, it's for the girls who read the most gut wrenching books to feel emotions, it's the ultimate sad girl album.

And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue? Just between us, did the love affair maim you too?

también tengo el mal hábito de aislarme cuando me siento demasiado mal