i’m plain and compulsive. i don’t have clever interests and i’ve never been exceptional at anything. i talk too much, i cry to every movie. i get under your skin, i know. but i would’ve given you everything if you’d loved me. given you children, a gleaming wife, a warm home. a cat and a garden out of a magazine. a best friend, a confidant. someone to dote on you over a small thing, over a sniffle. to fight for you. someone to grab you by the hand and take you through life when the walls close in. if you could’ve loved me, if i could’ve loved you.

stupid girl

i asked God for a sign as the sun came up. i was tripping over my feet when you picked up that ladybug. there was nothing i could say to make you put it down. your entertainment lived until it ate from your hand. you flicked it between the windshield and engine, then got all quiet like it was done to you. i rubbed your back until the doors opened and thought of every time my friends had called me ladybug.

aw i have zero recollection of the past week. that is so fab <3 the fuck

OK, no more grieving. i am tired of being a sourpuss. life is a gift and then you get to see the people you love.