Everythingbagles

@lostinthewrongfandom I didn’t expect this when I opened your dm’s tbh

your 20s are about elves, your 30s are about continued meditations on the elf

once you hit your 40s it's time to find an elf

Fuck I hate elves god damm it

you've got 2 years left of that but then you have to make some changes

"there's a guy in the walls" movies exist in a universe that I fucking WISH was real. imagine how easy it would be to install stuff in walls if the space behind a wall was not 3.5 inches/8.9 cm deep and I could get my whole self in there. of course that would mean a guy could get in there too, but what are the odds.

<currently blogging from inside this idiot's walls>

PLEASE help me feed these ethernet cables downstairs or I'm gonna kill myself before you get a crack at me

thread it down here champ, we'll get this installed come hell or high water

you are the best scary murderer who could have ever crawled into my walls

and the devout created idols in reverence of a god they could not reach.

bringing a sort of "slavery is still alive and well in US prisons" vibe to the office Juneteenth post that my higher ups don't really like

From what I understand slavery was never actually abolished in the us. It is still legal and all.

the amendment that "ended" slavery specifically left permission for slave labor as punishment for convinced criminals and our inmates have been legally exploited ever since, yes

You cannot say that a top grossing artist is "feral" or making you "feral." You are listening to the Billboard Top 40. You are very domesticated.

Stupid ass take. The fame of the artist doesn't define how it makes you feel. Do you not see me go hogwild eating potatoes, easily one of the top 5 most well known vegetables

We're like shooting stars you and I

Adding "you would be friends with Hitler if he liked vocaloid" to that same list as "y'all would fuck a fence if it was white"

just found out I'm going to be reincarnated into a single sprig of grain. barley apparently. Not cool man. I didn't even know plants was an option on the table. this is bullshit

I will always reblog this

still remember how revolutionary this ad felt 10 years ago

excuse me but it still feels revolutionary

Keep reblogging until it feels normal everywhere.