struggling can be beautiful

We all burn at different paces, some will disappear before others under fire.

When things start going well I wonder who’s watching, waiting, to blow it all up.

Blood spattered on to the pages but I was too blind to see.

L̛̠̝̜ͩ͛ͣͪ̔͌ͦͥ̌͑̋i̛̠̒̂̃͜f̷̯̗͎͋̋͊͆ͪͫ͛̚e̳_̵͇̬̘̟̗ͣ̊ ị̴̸̡̛̪ͣ͂͐ͦ͂͟͜s̶̡̖̩̫̙͇̯̝̍͊̿͋̽̇̒́͑͌̈́ͮ̎͛̐̾ͣͭ̃ͧ̚̚͝ͅ a̧̝̤͖͚̘̙̺̟͛̐̉ͧ̿̇̏ͭ̍ͤ̅̓ͬ́ͮ͋ͦ̒ͨͯ͝͞͠n̛̰̜̺̞̥ͣ̈ͥ̅ͪ͐͊_̷͖̪̙̺͒̒͒̃ͤͭ̃̓̓ͥͣͅ e̵̷̪̱̰̬̦͇͒̀r͖̟̘ͪ̈́̓̒̒̑̆͋̚͞͡ȑ̷̵̴̸̴̢͖̠̜͙̰͎͔̼͎̫͉̖̥̦̲̲ͥ͌ͬ͑ͯ͌̊ͦͦ͋̔ͮ̔ͣ̿̓̔̚͟͝ͅo̧͉̦ͥ̌ͧͪ̑́͢ŕ̶̵̭̳͉́͟

Do you ever experience so much pain that you can’t even cry? So many times I sit in my pain, frozen.

Her waves take me to a new hope.

Moments when the brain quiets are euphoric. Why must it feel so unattainable?

Standing on the choice is what I imagine to be almost as good as doing it.

What have others done in the vacancy? Would they want anyone else to know?

Magical little universes that take you somewhere else for a while.

In the end, she wanted to save herself but it was too late.

Self sabotage.

Bury me amongst beauty.

Does what you see kill you too?

If you could blow life out, would you?