stuff maybe????

Recently a friend that I was once really close with got mad when she realised I was not going to sympathize with her about these problems.. I started to come out of a shell I had no idea I was in and the more that I started being the me I’ve always been in my head she started backing away from me.. when we first started being friends I was generally a sweet person who kept all my problems to myself and listened to others problems without judgement and let them figure things out.. An extended family member of mine did not like the way people were taking advantage of my caring nature and manipulating me into doing things I had no desire to do..

So the changes began I started growing a back bone and saying no to people without any remorse, stood behind this no. I started talking. Talking in a way I hadn’t done since I was a little girl. Talking was something I lost because of my fear of hurting people with words. Talking was my courage.. I may not be the most outgoing person in the world, but I have found a courage, thanks to my family’s continued support, that I enjoy to the fullest..

Anyways back to the friend, she didn’t like the blunt way I was talking. I guess she didn’t like the me who let her know that she was being a bitch to people.. She hasn’t talked  to me personally in a few months because my morals are different than hers but I let her know that no matter what I would love her and be there for her if she really needs me..

She moved away for a few years to attend an institute in a city about an hour out. She moved on away from and had so many friends.. I’m not going to lie I was insanely jealous because why didn’t she allow me to be apart of this group. Everytime I went to the city where she lived she did not have time to even meet with even though I let her know days in advanced.. Thats when I realised I was not an important part of her life anymore and these other people were now her friends that she decided to bond with more than me.. Although this is not the time my feelings of being her friend changed.. I still made a point to be part of her life my asking her how she was and was doing.. then she started hiding things from me. At first I thought she just forgot to tell me then it  started happening more and more often.. I was hurt... I started to think I did something wrong.. I thought for a long time about what it could be but I could not come up with anything other than the fact I was probably annoying her.. so I stopped all forms of communication except for once in awhile..