SHAY

i may be maturing more as i get older, but i also feel myself becoming more raw. some essential thing i started out with, some original thing, wants to come back, unmade and undestined.

actually trauma did make me a little funnier but it's because i'm an overfunctioning people-pleaser now and endlessly fawning because if everyone in the room doesn't love me i am in danger. i am hypervigilant and endlessly scanning everyone's emotions so yes i guess i'm quick-witted. i can't have serious adult conversations without feeling like i'm on fire and i always feel like i'm at fault for things i didn't even do. i need every difficult thing to be resolved right now immediately, i can't stand conflict, i am endlessly needy and anxious. i will cling to bad people even after i've been hurt continuously and i'm in a constant battle with my body to just rest instead of reacting. but yeah it. i guess. silver linings or whatever. it did make me funny

WHEN YOU TELL PEOPLE THE TRUTH OF WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT YOU GIVE THEM THE OPPORTUNITY TO ACTUALLY MEET YOU THERE

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

you only like me for who I am

ohh my god but what if there is still time. what if there is still time. hey. there is still time? there is still time. have you heard. there is still time. hi. there is still time. did you know. there is still time.