I'm In Love With Being Queen

But… they’re doing all the work….?

So? Isn't that what they are there for?

But… isn’t that like… cheating?

Pfffft, no. It's like getting a study buddy.

You watch Disney movies? They don’t like, hurt your soul? Oh wait, that’s right, you don’t have a soul.

Don't act so surprised Heidi, there was a time, during my lapse of judgement phase, when I used to watch them with you, but that's a memory I'd rather not have.

In a perfect world.

We should find like, one of those nerds that need money to do it for us.

Future note: when doing a backflip, land on your feet….

Do you need to take a few days? I can like, get my Daddy's chiropractor to take a look. His fingers are so magic!

Well what am I supposed to do about it? I’m not “Eddie the Handyman”. 

Can't you like just get someone to fix it without having to actually speak to them? Like isn't that how it works, you just get your like maids to call them and then they speak Mexican or whatever at them?

Uhh

You mean you actually have to interact with repair people. Ew.

You don’t get like, being happy. And liking someone. Because I’m awesome.

Oh, I get being happy. Liking someone though, I'm waiting until college. Nobody here is worth my affection. Yeah, no, keep pretending that, loser.

Nah, it just means awesome. It’s fine though, you don’t get it.

I don't get what? Ugh, why am I even talking to some pointless loser anyway?

She’s awesome. And I’m awesome. We’re awesome together.

Right... if awesome is code for "total loser". 

The beer doesn’t help either, huh? Oh well, I have a girl, that’s all that matters. 

You have girl? Is she like retarded or something? Because you look like some deadbeat and from the smell thing and the beer I'm probably right.

Yeah, exactly.

 Ew. That is so gross. You're gonna smell like one of those homeless people and ew. 

Yeah but…it takes so much energy to stand in the water!

... That's just like, laziness. 

Taking a shower seems like so much effort today.

How is taking a shower effort? Like, you'll be all gross and yuck if you don't take one, ew.

Another trophy is just what you need.

I don't care about the trophy! I care about the big crown and the money.