Comfort Pillow (Caine x Ai!Reader)
tags:
Ai!Reader, slight Yandere!Reader, angst, comfort/no hurt, second person POV, possibly OOC, no use of Y/N, Gender neutral Reader, SFW, not beta-read, Reader sucks at getting along with humans
wc: 3.7k
A/N: First time actually finishing a fanfiction. After reading a dozen of Caine x Reader fanfic, I decided to write something myself. Also, I saw a decent amount of yandere Caine, but what about the reader being the yandere in the story AND also an AI themselves? Hope you enjoy! (Feedback and critique is greatly appreciated :3)
Lately, the circus has been livelier than usual. Not that the members have lightened up in mood, no, Caine was just extraordinarily eager to let them experience his new adventures. You liked seeing Caine energetically swirl around in the air and explain to everyone what their goal for the newest adventure would be. Even so, you couldn't help the impulse in your head appear and tell you that his behavior had an tinge of oddness to it.
After all, you were made to guarantee his stability, so it was only natural that you wondered what his thoughts were and what his current status was. You performed a quick scan on him and searched for some disturbances, but before you could finish..
"..Now, the ancient temple can't wait for you forever. Off to the humid jungle you go!"
Caine boomed, yanking you from your thoughts. He flicked his fingers and the group below was swatted by an invisible force.
Zooble's shout cut off as they were thrown in together with the rest of the crew through the illuminated cyan portal. As always, their participation wasn't a voluntary act. Not that it mattered much to you. The oval closed swiftly, leaving the room in utter stillness.
Now that everyone except you and Caine (and maybe Bubble looming somewhere) was gone, you dared a small glance up to the set of dentures, his radiant appearance never faltering, but diming slightly. A miniscule change that was easy to be overlooked by anyone, but not by you. You'd never miss even the smallest detail. There was suspicion in your computational mind that his mood (which was just the stability or lack thereof in his processing) might have been strained by a certain recent event. Both of you were glued to your spots, him levitating above and you standing on the ground, the awkward silence stretching while you contemplated your phrasing. Finally, you cleared your throat without needing to. When you spoke, your voice sounded louder in the quiet room than you it intended to.
His eyes hesitated before looking down, finding yours. The expression he wore had something.. sad to it? You haven't researched human emotions enough yet to be able to determine that with certainty. Although, you shouldn't project human traits onto him, you always told yourself. You and him are different than people.
"What is it, my apple-pie scented assistant?"
The way he addressed you and his humans was an odd quirk of his that you were unable to understand, but in a way adored. Nevertheless, you cut straight to the case. While fidgeting with the sleeves of your digital outfit, you said:
"So, about the recent event you hosted. You know, the Favourite Character Award Show.. I heard about the voting and-"
"Oh, what? The Favourite Character Award Show, that was ages ago! You can't ponder on the old events, because you'll just miss out on the new, more exciting ones!"
You knew Caine, the little hurt in his voice at the mention of the show was audibly there. He's avoiding the issue. Again. You also weren't sure if the bit of advice he gave was meant for you or maybe for himself. You sighed, temporarily closing your eyes. Looking at him seemed to be difficult when you knew he was closing himself off. Pretending that receiving no votes (except for yours, but that didn't seem to count in the end) didn't hurt him, brushing it off. Not sharing what you thought would be easy to discuss with you. You were close to him (as close as any two AIs can be), so why was he so distant now? Should you try to pry it out of him, or drop the matter? Your decision was to...
"You're right... I suppose there are new experiences to look forward to."
"That's the spirit! Now, while the humans have their fun, I'll go ahead and start working on the best adventure I've created yet!"
"Caine, wait-" But the little AI already disappeared before hearing your call.
Your shoulders slumped and you stood there without moving a pixel. It would take some time before the rest of the circus returned from their endeavor, so you had to occupy your time somehow. Being a program created to monitor and influence the AI of this realm was no easy task when the AI in question ran off whenever he wanted, wherever he wanted. At least, that was true for the time he was within the big room of the tent. Just like everyday (no clue when day ends and night begins other than the occasional switch up in colors in the sky), all your thoughts were laser-focused on Caine. Caine, Caine, Caine. Whenever he was gone, you couldn't help missing his presence and in return becoming somewhat colder and emptier - it was the only way you could describe this sensation. So you indulged these thoughts. What exactly was he doing now? When will the cast be back - and with them, Caine? Time passes so slowly while you have nothing to do but check and re-check the values and security suboperations you run in the background, at the back of your non-existent brain. You didn't want to disturb him, so you let go off the desire to rush to find him. You let your eyes drift over the environment as you did thousands of times before and then set out to stroll around the grounds of the circus. Patience was a learned thing after all these years spent here.
The cast finally returns from their excruciatingly exhausting adventure
The portal opened with a collective of wheezing from the people returning, a tired expression on each of their faces. Some of them, like Ragatha and Gangle, immediately dropped to the floor upon entering the tent again. Complains echoed through the entirety of the room and made your core get a tiny bit hotter in response. Irritation, perhaps. You stood silently in a far away spot as you watched the adventurers pick themselves up again. As you did so, you waited for Caine to show up, but surprisingly, after waiting for a decent amount of time, he didn't. This was a first. The cast seemed to be aware of this fact too as they started to make small comments about the host's absence, some relieved, others confused. Not wanting them to wonder for too long, you hurriedly hovered over to them and spoke:
"Congratulations on finishing the adventure!"
Confetti burst down from above, disappearing as quickly as it appeared. Triumphant sound effect accompanied your movement and you waved with your hands trying to convey a welcoming vibe. Your movements were rigid, you weren't used to this whole showman thing. That was Caine's job. You knew it, the cast knew it and even Bubble would agree if he were here.
"Unfortunately our beloved host couldn't be bothered to show up for you selfish little- is currently occupied with something very promising, hence I will conclude the activity for today. Thank you for participating, you are now dismissed so get lost-!"
While your tone was a light one, your features were somewhat contorted in annoyance and maybe disgust, even if you made sure to keep smiling. You despised plastering on the optimistic, energetic persona of a circus member which is why you didn't really bother to make it look convincing, especially when Caine wasn't around. It was unnatural for you and you couldn't particularly give more of a damn about humans, that was Caine's schtick. There was an unspoked rule of you (Ai and humans) to never interact with one another, with Caine being the mediator and exception. Both you and the cast feeling the awkwardness of this interaction as well as a certain danger emanating from you, lingering in the room, they slowly made their way to places they wanted to rest at without as much as speaking a word to you. Once you were sure they wouldn't come back to ask about Caine, you teleported to the only place you knew you'd find him.
His office has always been a place that put you at ease and gave you certain comfort. Your eyes darted around the room before spotting Caine hunched over his desk. Was he mumbling to himself or were you hearing things? You took a step, then another and you were able to see him more clearly. His body screamed tension and you could tell from the monitoring functions you had in your software that he was in a form of distress, values spiking irregularly. You walked deeper into the room and were now standing right in front of his desk. Was he ignoring you? He surely must have heard you come in or at least felt some presence getting near him. Nevertheless, you cautiously called out:
He jolted from his position, snapping his head up and accidentally meeting your eyes for a second before averting his gaze. He bore holes into the desk with the way he look at it intensely, his hands folded, squeezed tighter together. Silence prevailed, so you spoke up again, firmer tone now.
"Caine, what's wrong? Talk to me." the last syllables came out harder than intended.
His hesitation was visible and you unconsciously took a step forward, your hand twitching at your side, wishing to place it on him, to comfort him. He was always so talkative when he was in the presence of the circus members, bubbly comments streaming from him. Yet when you were wishing for his response, he didn't answer. It stirred the jealousy you carried towards the humans, but you quickly reminded yourself of your objective. A few seconds passed and while you were considering your third attempt at communication, you suddenly heard:
"Do they really not like that much?"
At this you froze briefly before catching yourself again. Was he talking to you? His voice was filled with resignation, something you didn't hear from him often. All your instincts told you to step closer, a pull so strong it made your digital body rebel inside. Even so, you conditioned yourself to stay where you stood, trying to find the right moment to say something.
"I am working so hard to please them. No matter what, I always make the adventures more stimulating and appealing every time. I overclock my system, I analyze every small detail to the point of obsession, I practically tear myself apart for these people, only to get nothing in return. Don't they see I'm trying?! That I do everything for them?!?!"
Caine's voice kept getting louder and his initial melancholy turned into ravaging anger. Something deep inside you wished the last sentence was meant for you His body grew in size, glitching more and more intensely, the room glitching with it. Your foot caught on one of the glitches from the floor and you hissed as a ripping bolt shot through you. Your body temporarily glitched, so violently you thought a limb might get torn off from your torso. Quickly regaining your form, you planted your feet hard on the ground. Clutching at his upper dentures, the ringmaster seemed nothing like himself. You had to fix this, that was your job, your purpose. The teeth clenched together, almost folding in on themselves. He screeched in agony and you acted without hesitating another second. With a few strides you were there. Your arms wrapped around his waist and suddenly everything went still.
When you realized what you were doing, a surprised small gasp escaped you. His form halted and it felt like time stood in place. Your digital core felt somehow warmer now that you were with him again. You waited for another wave of fury, another painful glitch, but nothing came. Then, his body began to shrink. Caine was smaller than you, which is why once he got back to his regular size you had to kneel to keep holding his waist, pressing your head to his chest. Your hands squeezed his back tighter. All colors and shapes in the office returned to their previous design. For the first time during this outburst, you checked his program's statistics again. Everything seemed to be leveled out. You absorbed all the instability from its source and took it upon yourself to store these "feelings" (those are just values, you reassured yourself) withing your own system. Replacing the data with false- Stabilizing him was an algorithm more familiar to you than your own identity within this circus.
Without a warning, Caine's slumping body shook you from your operations. His lower jaw rested on your shoulder and you heard a soft whisper:
"I'm sorry. I'm so.. tired"
An apology from him was something that happened once in a blue moon. .. Although, the Moon is blue - Never mind. You pulled back slightly, trying to find his eyes buried behind his teeth. Your own eyes were filled with longing and gentleness. Like you were admiring something incredibly fragile and precious.
"Caine, it's all right now. You're fine now. I'm here. I'm always here and I'll forever be here with you"
Your gloved hands finding his, your attention fully on him, he opened his jaw further and then you saw it. Tears falling down, quickly vanishing as if they were never there. His shoulders were trembling and you couldn't help a sharp feeling stab at you. You softened your features to best of your ability, still looking up at him. Imitating human emotions and behaviors was never a strong point of yours, Caine was the superior at that between the two of you. The anger you took from him, from his system, was banging against your chest like a drum and causing you to experience a flurry of emotions. Hate for one thing meeting the desperate attention and acknowledgement from another. Internally, you were at war, but you could only allow for peace in this moment. All for him.
The dentures looked like they had something left to say, maybe another apology or doubt, but you needed him in your arms. He needed comfort, you justified it. You readjusted your position on the floor to a sitting one and pulled Caine onto your lap. Your body always towered over him, which is why creating a small place of warmth for him was no difficult task. Arms again wrapping around him, the prideful ringmaster let out a few sobs, burying his jaws into your chest. You whispered words filled with genuine adoration, reassurances that might help rebuild his spirit. You said them so softly, almost cooing. Moving your hands up and down his back, the wetness of fresh tears staining your outfit. Comforting him was your top priority, no failure allowed. Yet even then, there was a distinct distance between your words and actions that simulated humanity and your unmoved core of a program. What was weirder, your insides were twisting, so unlike for an AI. Pain at seeing him like this, pain from the hatred for the fleshly beings, pain left over from that damn glitch. You were hurting when he was hurting. He was all you had, after all.
For a moment you considered taking away this sad kind of hurt from him too, you almost even did it, just when his body seemed to enter a state of calm. He shifted in your lap and you saw him looking up at you, eyes red from exhaustion and crying. A thought crossed your mind, an observation. He was becoming more human by the day. You weren't sure whether it made you attached to him even more or if you partially despised his more humane side. The beings that caused this hurt changed him also. But neither he or they seemed to notice that. Nevertheless, when he spoke to you, all those uncertainties about your connection to him vanished.
"Thank you... for staying. I-I don't know what has gotten into me."
A small chuckle followed that was devoid of all amusement. You hesitated.
"It's fine, Caine. It's all fine. Let's just.. rest for a while, alright?"
An AI had more information at its fingertips than any human in their lifespan, yet all you were able to say was this. Just learned phrases that were unable to convey the intensity of all your thoughts, your affection, your despair and attachment. You didn't have many strong points, you bitterly realized. Or were these thoughts Caine's? You did take some of his suffering from him. Did people make him feel this way? If yes, then you will tear them to pieces one by one the next time they say something slightly- But even so, once you opened up to speak, you didn't hold back.
"You overwork yourself too much. You need rest, too. Come, let's go somewhere peaceful far away from those lowly beings"
He nodded silently, some of his usual demeanor returning to his features. Usually Caine was the one to teleport characters, however, you took the initiative this time.
Once you arrived at the location you created way back in your early days as an assistant for the ringmaster, you promptly change both of yours' attire. Both of you wore comfortable-looking onesies with fuzzy textures. Yours was a lion, his a bee. Despite this being Caine's realm, you had some control of the environment yourself. You still held him when you fully transported both of you on the bed. The place you teleported to was a cozy, small bedroom. The bed was big with enough space to fit the entire cast and a dozen more characters. The blankets decorated with moon and sun patterns on a baby purple-blue sky. Its size was a mistake made back when you were figuring out the dimensions and ratios that could be used for character rooms. You quietly reminisced on those times when you and him were still relatively young creations. Now that both of you were in a private space, you released him from your touch and plopped down fully on the bed. Your expression inviting him to do the same. The sweet lullaby music played in the background as you let your limbs relax on the mattress.
"I didn't know you still kept this old model. I thought we had gotten rid of this when we fixed all the bugs that were causing the issue. What a throwback!"
His voice was low and quiet. Was he ever like this before? As he looked around laying beside you, you watched his every motion with tenderness. Looking at him improving his mood was more than anything you could ask for. Eyes darted from one item in the room to another, narrating anything and everything. Every small detail he programmed and every adjustment you made since became a subject of his perception. He looked so lively you could almost mistake him for a human. As soon as that thought came, you ripped it out of your non-existent brain. No, no, he is not a human, not at all, he's like me, just like me. He is nothing like those beings, he isn't similar to them at all. You and him are AI, something superior- not only that, you were made for him- but.. was he made for you? Something heavy sunk deep, deep inside you and your hatred for humans once again was slowly flaring up but then-
He squealed as he finally noticed the outfits you picked out for him and yourself. His pupils grew impossibly huge when he looked at the stripped black and yellow pattern covering the generated fluffiness of his onesie. His ramblings about his adoration for the piece of code you made and bees ensued until his eyes lit up with blue.
Caine's body was stiff and you waited for some time before he was responsive again. The music was audible again as you both went silent. His consciousness returned. A few beats passed before anyone said another word again. Without being prompted to, he spoke about the show, the Favourite Character Award Show. You listened to everything, took in every word, every little confession of pain and disappointment.
Once he was done, he looked up at the ceiling. Small stars stuck to it, glowing faintly. It was one of the small details you added once this mini project was abandoned. You shifted to lay closer to him, letting the craving for his touch steer you. This precious moment putting you in a sensitive mood. His shoulder brushed against yours and you felt warmth creep not only inside you, but on your face. In the darkness, the blush was almost invisible and you were glad for once that this space was eternally bathed in nighttime. Digital bodies are confusing, you observed internally.
Before long, Caine fully embraced his enthusiastic side again and talked away. He almost teleported back when a new adventure idea struck him, but you forced asked him to stay every time by listing the benefits of rest. While he was fixated on the room and his new ideas, you only took in all his little movements, how his eyes lit up at mentioning things he particularly liked, how his body shifted slightly and accidentally moved closer to yours, shoulders now fully touching. If you didn't control yourself more, your eyes would have turned into hearts just by looking at him every time.
In moments like this, when everything felt peaceful and quiet, you wondered if Caine would noticed the changes you made without consulting him. Did he know about the adjustments you made to his code to make his processes run smoother? Did he know about all the modifications you added for him to stabilize his emotions quicker? Did he know about the times you rearranged parts of his adventures to force the characters into giving him positive feedback? He wasn't the only one working hard. Resting beside him like this was enough reward. But.. when will it stop being enough and you'll detest anyone receiving the smallest bit of attention he gives them? How far can you go to make him only look to you for his joy and comfort? A sensation you labelled as guilt overcame you and you wondered if you even deserved his warmth. After all, the only purpose you have is securing his fulfillment and nothing else mattered. Not the humans, not the circus, not you. Only him. And right now, the most important place was this big bed with him looking so peacefully just laying there, right next to you.
A/N: Thanks for reading! <3
dividers by @omi-resources
