Survival of the fittest

𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽    𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁    …    ꒰    𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍   𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾   𝗍𝗁𝖾   𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗂𝗆𝖾𝗍𝖾𝗋   𝗈𝖿   𝗌𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗍   𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗅𝗈𝗐𝖾   𝗆𝖾𝖽𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗅   𝖼𝖾𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗋,    𝖺𝗇   𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗋   𝖻𝖾𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾   𝗌𝗎𝗇𝗌𝖾𝗍.   ꒱ 

                  𝙼𝙰𝙶𝙶𝙸𝙴   𝙱𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙺𝚂   𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙳,   trying   to   clear   the   exhaustion   that   weighs   heavy   on   her   eyelids.   this   had   become   routine   —   with   daily   tasks   wrapped   up   and   the   evening   meal   not   quite   ready,   she   finds   herself   outside.   sometimes,   if   she   was   feeling   creative   enough   that   day,   she   could   pretend   she   was   free:   surrounded   by   flowers   on   a   mountain   range,   listening   to   the   roar   of   the   pacific   ocean   as   it   sent   mighty   waves   crashing   against   the   shore,   feeling   the   warmth   of   a   loved   one's   touch.   these   only   existed   in   memories   now,   and   on   days   like   today   her   imagination   isn't   quite   powerful   enough,   spirits   not   quite   high   enough   to   muster   the   effort   pretending   would   require.   she'd   spent   the   night   before   tossing   and   turning,   halfway   between   nightmarish   slumber   and   even   more   nightmarish   consciousness.   at   the   very   least,   maggie   remains   grateful   for   the   evening   breeze,   the   warmth   of   sun   of   skin   as   it   begins   its   descent   over   the   mountain   ranges.   the   military   personnel   usually   leave   her   alone,   both   empathetic   and   otherwise   occupied.   can   tell   that   she's   lost   in   thought,   unreachable.   but   that   doesn't   mean   her   fellow   survivors   do   the   same   …   and   sure   enough,   maggie   can   feel   a   community   member's presence nearby.                      “   𝙸𝙵   𝚈𝙾𝚄   𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳   be   anywhere   right   now,   where   would   you   want to be   ?   ”   she   asks   them,   not   bothering   to   tear   her   gaze   from   their   nightly   scan   of   the   surrounding   streets.   “   i   always   thought   there   would   be   more   time   to   travel,   to   see   the   world.   nope   !   now   i'm   stuck   daydreaming   about   it.   forever,   probably.   tell   me   about   somewhere   else   —   anywhere   but   here.   i   need   new   material.   ”

So Tessa found herself outside, toe of her boot kicking at rocks on the abandoned parking lot asphalt, eyes searching in every direction. This place was more like a prison cell than a home, what with the concrete barriers and junked up cars blocking every plausible exit. Nothing said home like a barrier. What was it that was beyond those fences that everyone was so afraid of? She'd heard Nathan speak of going on scavenging runs, gathering supplies. Like this was going to be their future, forever. She didn't much thinking like that.

Tessa walked up close, noticing the 'guard' that stood watch but not thinking much of them, at least until they spoke up. Her nose scrunched. Traveling? Tessa had only ever dreamed of that to begin with - she'd never been anywhere else. And where she'd come from certainly wasn't anything to put on a postcard. Well...the coast had always been kind of nice. That was where she'd run to when she just had to get away for a while. "I don't know," she finally says. "Literally anywhere else? Sometimes I think it's probably better out there than in here." She gestures lamely beyond the barriers. "At least there isn't a bed time like we're five years old." As if she even really had that growing up. If it wasn't for her sister... "Where do you wish you could be? I've never even been anywhere else. Well like, much beyond Ventura County, anyway. Don't exactly come from a 'lets go on a family trip to Disney land' kind of family."

The past two months had worn Nathan down in ways he hadn't expected. Days blurred together beneath the constant hum of generators and fluorescent lights, each one ending exactly where it began. Inside Saint Marlowe. He'd asked more than once to join the scavenging teams, always receiving the same answer. Not yet. He couldn't entirely blame the soldiers. He caught the hesitant glances they exchanged before politely turning him away. He understood some. Nathan looked like he'd snap in a strong breeze, and he knew his nervous habit of wringing his hands probably didn't inspire much confidence either. They weren't trying to be cruel. If anything, they were trying to keep him alive. Still, it was hard not to feel like another patient trapped inside the hospital.

Saint Marlowe had its own rhythm now, one Nathan couldn't seem to escape. Boots echoed down hallways at all hours. Radios crackled somewhere in the distance. Sometimes, when the building settled for the night, something else echoed through the sealed floors the military insisted everyone avoid. He'd gone looking more than once despite the warnings, curiosity always getting the better of him, though he'd never ventured far enough to satisfy it. Eventually, he'd accepted that the best thing he could do was what he'd always done best... make himself useful. The children's playroom had slowly transformed into a makeshift library. The shelves filled with every anything he could rescue from abandoned waiting rooms and offices. It wasn't much compared to the library he'd left behind, but people came anyway. Sometimes for a book. Sometimes just for a quiet place to sit and pretend the world still made sense.

He was shelving another stack of books abandoned by a group of children who had been far more interested in playing tag than reading when someone appeared in the doorway. Nathan glanced up, offering the same warm smile he always tried to wear, even when it felt a little borrowed. "H-Hi," he greeted. "Looking for something to read?" His eyes drifted toward the shelves before a sheepish smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "My selection's... honestly limited. Turns out hospitals stock an alarming number of romance novels." A quiet laugh escaped him as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Not that I'm judging. Desperate times and all."

Days had turned to weeks and now...what had it been, a couple months? She had lost track of time long ago, not one to trace the sun in the sky as it rose and set. Maybe Nathan knew the exact day - maybe even the exact time (she wouldn't put it past him). He was the type to keep track of that, she figured, just like he lovingly collected books from all around the hospital and deposited them in the former tiny little daycare turned library. Tessa's fingers ran along the spines of the books, honestly impressed by the results of Nathan's efforts. She wouldn't have the patience.

Her eyes flicked up when someone entered the room, watching as Nathan greeted them as if he owned the place and showed them to whatever it was they'd expressed interest in. As soon as he was free again she sidled up beside him, arms folded and shoulder blade pressed against the nearest wall. "Oh please, oh please, oh please can you find me a romance novel to fill my long, lonely nights? Preferably one with one of those big, buff cowboys on the cover." She was teasing, of course. He could try and convince her to read all he wanted, she wasn't going to find comfort in any of the books he had on these shelves (probably). Instead, she had come to find comfort in his company ever since they'd been bunked up together in one of the patient rooms (best not to think about it that way). Like a warm blanket, he'd managed to wrap himself around her. He probably hated her guts, but she liked to think he felt comforted in her presence, too. Somehow. "Whatcha say, book man? You got what I need?" Then she snorted out a laugh, struggling to keep up the act.