ssouriante

Mark, Sweetie, I WORSHIP you.

[TL;DR at the bottom of the post.]

     So yesterday, as I was on Spotify instead of doing work, I realized I hadn’t listened to the new Ed Sheeran album Divide in it’s entirety yet. Turns out, it’s pretty awesome (and if you haven’t listened to it yet, you should go do that)! Unfortunately though, it does have its problematic moments – the track New Man being the primary representative. 

Before we go into detail though, let’s give the characters of the song names so that they’re simple to discern from each other:

Let ex-boyfriend be X, girl be G, and New Man be N. 

Also, excuse my ADHD. My meds wore off towards the end.

Ok! Now on to the fun bit!

So why is this song problematic, anyways?

I have a couple of different perspectives on this point that we’ll detail momentarily, but to be concise:

X is obsessed with the relationship between G and N, using a mix of manipulation tactics and fallacies to try and convince G to leave him. 

X incessantly shames N for basically existing; he also shames G for choosing to do things/be around people X disapproves of.

X enforcing gender stereotypes. 

G asking X for sex. Also, G cheating on N. 

N wears closed shoes without socks. 

Pop culture influences real life, and overall, these are not healthy behaviors. 

Give me a moment to mentally choke a bitch out compose myself.

Just…

What the actual fuck? 

   Now,  I’m sure there are multiple people reading this post and thinking “silly OP, X is justified because N is a piece of shit,” but here’s the thing: 

THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT X IS TRYING TO GET YOU TO BELIEVE. 

     And by “you,” I mean G, ‘cause New Man is basically a request for G to take X back rather than offering sympathy to G or caring about her as a whole individual. 

[explosion noises]

Let’s take it verse by verse to identify how X does this.

Verse 1: 

I heard he spent five hundred pounds on jeans Goes to the gym at least six times a week Wears boat shoes with no socks on his feet And I hear he’s on a new diet and watches what he eats He’s got his eyebrows plucked and his arsehole bleached Owns every single Ministry CD Tribal tattoos and he don’t know what it means But I heard he makes you happy, so that’s fine by me But still, I’m just keepin’ it real Still lookin’ at your Instagram and I’ll be creepin’ a lil’ I’ll be tryin’ not to double tap, from way back ‘Cause I know that’s where the trouble’s at Let me remind you of the days when You used to hold my hand And when we sipped champagne out of cider cans I guess if you were Lois Lane, I wasn’t Superman Just a young boy tryin’ to be loved So let me give it to ya 

Did you catch it? Here’s verse one rewritten:

“I don’t like N because [insert stereotype about masculinity] and he’s different compared to me”

“But if that’s what makes you happy, it’s ‘ fine,’ [insert eye roll]”

“But actually, it’s not fine, because I miss you (I’m stalking you) and I’m better because we did fun shit even though I was poor and I’m not [masculinity stereotype]”

“Poor me, I deserve love; let me love you”

Essentially, X is saying that because N plucks his eyebrows, has money to spend on something he wants (even if it’s a dumb purchase), and behaves a certain way, it makes him a dumb jock/fuccboi/undesirable/have certain other traits. Therefore, X is desirable (a nice guy), and G should take him back. 

Because obviously, as a man, if you keep up with your appearance, like one specific band(s), have an aesthetic/meaningless tattoo, and try to take care of your body, you’re a shitty person (sarcasm). To this last point though, I would like to note that if the tattoo has a cultural implication that N is not part of, it’s a dick move to have gotten it. We’re going off X’s assumptions though, so… 

Also, closed shoes without socks is unacceptable regardless of who you are; shape up, N.

CHORUS

I don’t wanna know about your new man 'Cause if it was meant to be You wouldn’t be callin’ me up tryin’ to 'Cause I’m positive that he don’t wanna know about me I don’t wanna know about your new man We’ll get there eventually I know you’re missin’ all this kind of love But I’m positive that he don’t wanna know about me

Rewritten:

“I don’t want to know about your new man because you’re calling me up for sex (so obviously I’m better and he doesn’t matter).”

“I also KNOW that you’re missing this kind of love (so please come back) and we’ll eventually be able to laugh at him together.”

“Also, he doesn’t wanna know about me (because he’s too big of a dickbag to care obviously).”

Thoughts on the chorus:

On G’s part: dick move. Nobody should call up someone who’s trying to get over them. It just plays with their emotions and gives them false hope (or in this case, it makes X go batshit crazy)

On X’s part: he needs to get over himself. He doesn’t seem care about G or her situation other than wanting her back. He also can’t KNOW what G is feeling or missing unless she’s specifically told him.  

Verse 2

Your new man rents a house in the 'burb And wears a man bag on his shoulder, but I call it a purse Every year, he goes to Málaga with all the fellas Drinks beer, but has a six pack, I’m kinda jealous He wears sunglasses indoors, in winter, at nighttime And every time a rap song comes on, he makes a gang sign Says “Chune, bwoydem light up the room!” But enough about him, girl, let’s talk about you You were the type of girl who sat beside the water readin’ Eatin’ a packet of crisps, but you will never find you cheatin’ Now you’re eatin’ kale, hittin’ the gym Keepin’ up with Kylie and Kim In the back of the club, kissin’ a boy that ain’t him Okay, you need to be alone And if you wanna talk about it, you can call my phone I just thought I would tell you, 'cause you oughta know You’re still a young girl tryin’ to be loved So let me give it to ya

Rewritten:

[Implied stereotype about people who live in the suburbs]

[Implied jab at masculinity]

“I’m uncomfortable with myself and jealous that he can keep that figure”

[Stereotype]

[Stereotype about “type” of femininity]

[Cheat-shaming, even though he has no idea what G&N’s relationship is about]

“Even though you behave this way you’re still this [type of] girl somewhere inside.”

“Poor, silly, you. Let me love you because I’m not [stereotype] therefore my love is better.”

A few points with this verse:

This reminds me so much of the people who say the: “I’m not racist, but…” bullshit. X is passive-aggressively shaming N and G through the entire song by implying “N isn’t a fuccboi but… N is a fuccboi – and if you like fuccbois (G), then I guess that’s what you like (but I’m judging you for it because (stereotype))”

I’m not one to advocate cheating if that’s the case, but neither I nor X have ANY IDEA what G and N have agreed to in their relationship. Maybe G found out she’s polyamorous. Maybe N is polyamorous. Maybe they’re fine with having multiple partners. We don’t know, and neither does X! G shouldn’t be shamed. 

Again, what is with this guy and shaming people for taking care of themselves? G is doing well for her body! Also, maybe she realized she liked that show (ironically, or unironically: it doesn’t matter).

STOP WITH THE GENDER JABS, CHRIST ON A STICK! That is not okay! N is in no way required to conform to society’s or X’s expectations of masculinity/style/etc.

Another thing: People change! Even if G’s behavior/aesthetic/style/gender identity was a certain way with X, that doesn’t mean she’s locked into those things for the rest of her life! Nor does it express her as a full individual! Crazy concept: you can be chill/humble, take care of yourself, and eat crisps every now and then!  

X does get points for the ‘gang signs for every rap song’ line though; that’s unnecessary and ignorant. 

Bridge

Baby, I’m not tryin’ to ruin your week But you act so differently When you’re with him, I know you’re lonely Please remember you’re still free To make the choice and leave Don’t call me up, you need to show me

Rewritten:

“Baby I’m not trying to ruin your week but…”

[goes on to do/say some dumb shit]

“You act so different, therefore you must be lonely!”

“So please come back to me, but DON’T call me! I demand you show me (see: make it up to me cause I’m too good for that)”

Thoughts:

Again… one aspect of a person in one instant is not representative of the entire individual. X is not owed anything from G. 

Summary & Societal Implications

X is fucking insane and doesn’t care about G as a whole person. He loves the idea of who she was before. 

X continually shames N and G to manipulate G into coming back to him. 

There’s a lot of details being assumed. 

     Also, if you haven’t sorted this out by now: this is a terrible portrayal of romance for people to relate to/internalize. It normalizes creepy/arrogant/ manipulative behavior as well as gender stereotypes. None of those things are healthy within or after a relationship. 

     If X loves G, he should be her friend and comfort her/help her situation instead of acting all high and mighty/implying something along the lines “I told you this was silly; now come back to me.” If he loves her, and she is not happy with N, he should help her exit the situation without requiring personal gain in return. Unconditional love does not necessitate reciprocal behavior. 

TL;DR

Proper, untouched, Hi Res, BEAUTY.

along with 14 other writers as far as i can tell. which holy shit, 14 (fourteen!)

19th November 2017 - On a nippy Sunday evening, a lone ginger-haired singer-songwriter delineated musical enchantment on a stage as he held the arena’s attention with nothing more than a guitar and a loop station. Even disregarding his outstanding lineage, Sheeran had no need for backing singers or dancers — not with an audience this involved.  Sheeran’s appeal lies in his mass likability and this showed in the make-up of the crowd which ranged from little kids to middle-aged couples and family groups. The singer-songwriter succeeded in capturing the undivided attention of the emotive crowd of about 10,000 with Ed Sheeran Live in Mumbai Concert brought to India by AEG Presents and PR Worldwide in collaboration with BookMyShow at Jio Gardens, BKC, Mumbai.

Setting the tone for the evening for the India leg of  Ed Sheeran’s Asia ÷ (divide) Tour was 23 year old American artist Lauv who proved to be a worthy opener as he played crowd-friendly singles like “I Like Me Better” and “Easy Love”

Sheerios did not have to wait long to see their favorite redheaded musician. Promptly at 8:30pm, the man of the hour made his super casual entrance, strolling onto the stage sans introduction in a t-shirt and jeans, with the commotion from the crowd beginning immediately as he started to strum the chords to his ode to his hometown, “Castle on the Hill.” The singer from Halifax, United Kingdom ripped through the soaring guitar anthem whose rock band-influenced guitar builds crescendoed to a stadium-filling chorus.

The singer showed that he’s a dominant performer with “Eraser,” with a perceptible attempt expended in the song’s dexterous autobiographical rap, but the architecture of its percussive climax and falsetto harmonies was so efficiently constructed that one might not have noticed Sheeran at labor. Though he appeared and sounded every inch of a pop star, the message of the song seemed sincere as his smile never faded throughout his 17-song set on his 109th tour stop.

The crowd remained committed in emulating Sheeran’s passion, which seemed to peak during “Bloodstream.”. Building from a touch of turbulence to a stormy climax as fireballs and gloomy clouds filled the background screens, this song surely did stand out.

He shifted from “Bloodstream” to mid-set folksy ballad “Happier,” bringing a nice change of pace with its mellower tone and sentimental rendition.

“Perfect” started out quietly and then soared higher with Sheeran layering backing vocals and beats as the crowd sang along, finally ending with one of the most resoundingly passionate climaxes to a ballad you’ll ever hear live.

He performed anthemic songs from each album, but bulk of his setlist came from his latest album, “Divide,” performing 10 songs from that album, five from “Multiply” and two from his debut album “Plus” with songs like “Dive”, “Heart’s Don’t Break Around Here”, “How Would You Feel”, “Thinking Out Loud”, “Photograph”, “I See Fire” getting some of the night’s biggest singalongs. It wasn’t just the ballads that got the fans elated – the up tempo numbers, including “Sing”, “New Man”, “Shape Of You” and “Galway Gal” got them dancing and even rapping along.

The concert didn’t seem like a show put on by one man, but rather an event that relied on the inclusion of an arena-sized group. From the pit to the periphery of the arena, Sheeran urged each member of the audience to sing as loud as they could and dance to whichever move they pleased.

In an era where people seem to always be occupied by technology, it was a welcome change to see fans ditch their devices to wave both arms in the air and grab their neighbor for a dance during Sheeran’s Irish jig “Nancy Mulligan” inspired by his grandparents’ own love story, and “A Team” - done fully acoustic, with no looping, amid a sea of cellphone flashlights and a mass singalong

It was a high-octane conclusion with the night’s raucous, rap-happy closer “You Need Me, I Don’t Need You,” which seemed to be a true statement for every person in the crowd and provided a quick glimpse at Sheeran’s beatboxing skills. Because without Sheeran’s performance, how would they know what it was like to witness the greatest solo artist of this generation - the 26-year-old is just a joy to watch, with his boundless energy, his crowd-pleasing banter, and of course, those oh-so-singable tunes!  By the time he ended the concert it was safe to say that his Indian fans had truly got their money’s worth.

Ed Sheeran who was wearing  an ocean blue Cama Balpande of BookASmile  kurta stated, “India you are always special and this night is magical.”

Kunal Khambati, Head, Live Events and IP, Bookmyshow added on, “When you attend an Ed Sheeran concert, Ed Sheeran is all you get. We are thrilled by the response we got for his show. BookMyShow is committed to bringing mega live musical events to the country that allow millions of fans to get access to their favorite artists and we are happy to have delivered an outstanding  and a memorable experience to every single attendee tonight. We elevated this once in a life time experience for attendees by presenting a  world class event experience that was logistically successful and operationally efficient.”