Giveittome

You have always made me feel more than anybody was ever able to make me feel. I know we weren't perfect. And I think that's okay. Perfect doesn't exist. But we are perfect, in a sense, that we compliment each other, even if you don't see it. We mirror each other. We challenge each other to grow. And that is painful..

And when we broke up, it hurt like hell. It hurt like I didn't know I could hurt. It hurt on a level that, just like everything else you made me feel, was deeper and much *MUCH* more meaningful. So much so, that even now, over half a year later, I still feel this pain; always in the same space.. the same space - or void - you left inside of me.

A bittersweet melancholy that I can't pretend away. An oozing void that I can not fill, no matter how hard I try. And trust me, I tried. But nothing, and nobody, gets even close to what you did. What you did without even trying. What you did before we even met up the first time. What you did after our first date. And the second.. and the third.

And I have told you before, I fell in love with you the *instant* I saw you for the first time. Something I never do. You just immediately felt safe. You felt like home. Like love.

And now you're gone. Because of me. And no matter how hard I try now, I can not fill this void. No matter how hard I try, I don't feel safe. No matter how hard I try, I don't feel at home.

Home is where you are. Safety is where you are. Love is where you are.

I hope you're happy. I hope you're safe. I wish you the very best for the rest of your life, even if it doesn't involve me anymore.

I pray that when you aren’t, you are happy

I pray you have little contrasting moments

I pray that when you do, you receive clarity that was asked

I pray that you are in good health

I pray that you have reached whatever goal you set out to accomplish

The tenderness of your touch.

The hunger in your palm.

The openness of your kiss.

The surrender in your arms.

The knowing in your eyes.

The understanding in your breath.

The the strength within your heart.

The compassion in your voice. 

The restraint of your closed eyes