Premed Yogi

For anyone who literally wants to take the moon home this winter. 

You can check it out: HERE

I know we’re a young childless couple, but we’re looking for three bedrooms. Unless there’s a decent basement. Then two will do.

You see, we need a master bedroom, an office, and a home dungeon.

We’re very specific about this space being available to convert into a sex dungeon. No, we’re not kidding.

We need to install a new door knob to that bedroom, which locks from the outside with a key only we have copies to.

Insulation is important to us, partly because I won’t be paying much for heat but partly because of city noise ordinances.

A finished or semi-finished basement would be nice if the third bedroom isn’t available. I can get down with the industrial slave-type dungeon.

I’ll possibly paint the dungeon black. That won’t be a problem until we have to sell, right?

The back yard should be as private as possible because I’ll be peeing in it more often than the average homeowner.

My partner has graciously allowed me to design the bathrooms to correspond with both sides of my personality. The themes will be mermaid and serial killer. I am completely serious.

We prefer not to be right next to a church because the temptation to fornicate against the back walls would be stronger than the force of god.

An attic isn’t required, but it’s a bonus as it gives me a fun place to practice witchcraft and do recreational drugs.