laugh ourselves to death !

it felt appropriate. third halloween free of essex, second able to ‘enjoy’ it... however, the real meaning of the word would require essex falling entirely. but a close second ? the woman who had been walking around, living with undeserved freedom, falling first. “ only thing we still gotta figure out is how t’ get her alone. ” as for a development since the initial and blurry planning phase ? “ sawyer seems willing t’ help out. ”  now, the city was huge, and emmeline would be an idiot to stay, but stranger things had happened ( hell, the escapees had stayed ! yes, it could be argued that some stayed for the sake of justice, but... was that really the case ? and for all of them ? )... thus: “ ya seen her around at all ? ” sweethearts, she’s at the party. 

oh, happy day ! her first mutant-in-the-wild bestie ! what an absolute treat ! “ oh, i ain’t jess tonight ! ” she replied, flicking those stupid suspenders before letting her bag of fun drop from... wherever it came from ( she really didn’t question these things ! ) ! “ this fella is basically the reason ronald mcdonald looks how he does - ” - ( unrealistic beauty expectations ! ) she continued as she withdrew a contraption that featured many an instrument strapped to the other -- a contraption that was definitely defying the laws of physics in its ability to fit inside the small bag - “ - but he also got the claim for being the first one-man-band trick. ” struggling to set it on herself, she eventually managed to loop her hands through the accordion ( and wondered who lou jacobs’s chiropractor was with that bass drum strapped to the back ) and pulled her hands apart, creating... well, an accordion sound ! “ tonight, i gotta be lou jacobs. ” ...she missed being weary willie... a very, very, very brief second of consideration on whether or not she should blow into the harmonica ( ...she should... but she refrained ) that felt like an eternity to her, she finally asked the question: “ how’s it been for ya ? ”

Last year, Jess stunned as history-making Weary Willy! This year, Jess will stun again as history-making Lou Jacobs! Although he contributed to the unrealistic beauty standards for clowns (ugh!), she has to pay homage to the first clown car, first one-man-band clown, and first clown to just... run forever in Barnum & Bailey’s! He was inducted into the Clown Hall of Fame (yes, this is a thing) for a reason! A tiny bowler hat, a loose tie, a white shirt with a collar that’s just a little too big, baggy tweed pants hanging by suspenders to match the baggy tweed coat (albeit, one that is far more colorful), and those unrealistic big clown shoes (ugh!). That’s not to mention the makeup -- yes, she already has some naturally clowny features, but they have been exaggerated to hell and back for this! She even brought a stupid red nose (which she believes is, indeed, stupid!)! And to top it all off, her bag of fun now contains a contraption that bolsters many instruments. It is, decidedly, not a simple costume, but Jess commits to the bit! This costume will debut at the Satanic Soiree. Some drinks and some vibes -- what could go wrong!?

if someone were to keep a record of jess’s life, there would be few moments in which her mood peaked that didn’t involve some kind of animal or another ! and, though this bear seemed a bit too human in mannerism to be a real bear ( she knew the things mutants could pull -- her theory was that this bear was just mo lite™ ), she would suspend disbelief ! “ hey there, big fella ! ” ...even if she didn’t suspect this were a mutant in bearskin ( literally ), would she still approach it ? oh, absolutely ! she had no sense of self-preservation in moments such as these ! “ ya caught any good salmon today ? -- that’s what you guys like, right ? salmon ? or is it trout ? ... tuna ? ”

right as she was ready to throw in the towel ! it was a sign -- it really was ! her best friend was back, butting her hand with his little head -- oh, happy day ! never give up ! “ ya got no clue how much i’ve missed ya ! so much has happened since we talked t’ each other -- did ya know gene kelly isn’t making movies anymore ? i mean, i asked someone the other day -- little guy, i thought he was still working when we talked last time ! ” there was power in selective listening. “ i can tell ya so much more ! ” yeah, the destruction of the essex house and the establishment of the hellfire club were great, but more information on the current world status re coca-cola ? yeah, that beat it. leaning a shoulder towards the guy, she asked that old, pestering question: “ ya wanna hop on ? ”

it had taken time ( and, in a perfect world, therapy ), but jess had finally accepted that she would never see her best friend again ( her best friend being compy. obviously. ). but the breakthrough -- the acceptance -- was dismissed almost as soon as it had occurred -- there he was ! compy ! in all his little fella glory ! as if on cue, ‘bring me sunshine’ began playing on the speakers of the store behind her ! oh, it was so stunning -- so perfect ! “ it’s you ! ” who would she be if she didn’t run to him !? oh, she kept her steps as quiet and gentle as she could -- no need to scare him away ! -- but such a feat was so very hard to accomplish ! when she finally reached the little fella, she got on her knees and launched: “ i thought i would never see ya again ! i almost got rid of your sh -- oh, i gotta get that back... ” -- damn charity ! -- “ -- i don’t got any coke on me right now, but look at where we are ! ya want me t’ go get ya one ? then get ya a new ‘i heart nyc’ shirt ? -- the goodwill kids can be real selfish. ”

“ ya definitely did a whole world of good here. ” really, if it hadn’t been dangerous for the nine of them, what mo had done for the ex residents was exactly what they would have needed. how beautiful it was that these guys had somewhere to go -- didn’t have to rely on blind luck or survival instincts. if they couldn’t get out with the rest of them... at least they could have a makeshift home. also, bestie, so true -- jess agrees ! she idolizes january way too much ! she’s like a lapdog ! but that’s neither here nor there, may just thought she should address that. “ ya know, it’s mainly just been gettin’ the hellfire club up and talkin’ t’ some of our old... friends. ” it was so hard to say ‘friends’ in regards to the ex residents -- not because she didn’t like most of them the way she liked anyone she would call a friend, rather because... what kind of friend was she if she had let them get left behind ? -- oh, out, damned spiral ! “ how about you, though ? ”

if they had gotten nothing else out of their makeshift interrogation ( save for the bracelet ), at least they had gotten those immortal words: ‘are you being served with legal documents...?’ oh, wouldn’t they have loved that to have been their biggest concern ! but her hysterics regarding them -- regarding the corporation as a whole -- could help. could serve to place even more blame on the corp. could make her think they were the ones out to get her. ( if she had half a braincell, turning into someone from the corporation would no longer work, they knew that much, but using it once they had her in their hands ? or to precede it all ? ) “ from what he told me, if he’s got some kinda important object -- contains memories or somethin’ like that -- ” -- again, even after his explanation, it was quite the mystery to someone who had had the luck ( was it luck ? ) of never being affected by it -- “ -- he can do it from any distance. might have some kinda range, but we were in o’donahues when it came up, talkin’ about her being at xavier’s. ” he could do it from where he was sitting -- she certainly remembered that much. “ might have t’ give it t’ him and let him see if he can find any memories of us that he can manipulate. didn’t tell him exactly what we did, but he knows emmeline hasn’t gotten a good response from a single one of us. ” and she was really banking on him wanting to hurt her. could he get on board with what they had done ? she had deserved all of it and more, but just how far was he looking to hurt her ? how illegal could they get -- how immoral ( if it were someone who hadn’t deserved it ) -- before he backed out ? he would have to be eased into it...  “ if he doesn’t agree t’ it, i can try t’ mimic one of the students for a while t’ get a handle on her ‘everyday life’ ? still won’t help luring her off the grounds, and i wouldn’t be able t’ do it for too long, but gettin’ a baseline schedule -- findin’ out when we would have the ability t’ swoop in without xavier and co. watchin’ her... could still be helpful. ”

“ he knows about the bracelet -- wants t’ use the memories that each of the charms have... ? ” understanding his power ? it was not in her wheelhouse ( was it for the better or worse ? was it better or worse that he hadn’t been able to manipulate her memories ? was it better or worse that she always won in the ring ? ). jack, on the other hand, could potentially confirm or deny her perception of what sawyer had said. “ it’s a real good starting point, and she wasn’t real difficult last time. whether anyone’s left t’ mourn her - ” - so fucking doubtful - “ - or not, she is getting legal documents. ” they could have killed her so easily last time. hell, they could have prolonged it -- made her suffering far worse than it was. if they hadn’t been restrained by their loyalty towards milo... but there was a scapegoat now. were she to go ‘missing’ or found dead ? everyone knew about the powers that be ( and, even if they didn’t, it wasn’t like she and jack would be sent back to the essex house ). does she have any initial ideas? it would take a stream of consciousness, but she would land on something. he would tweak it. they would polish it. a well-oiled machine. ” her namesake’s more hated now than it’s ever been -- don’t think she’d even bother passin’ by mo’s house t’ offer some little apologies t’ everyone else she tortured. we both know she’s way more selfish than she pretends t’ be -- and if she’s got a single braincell left, she should know by now that her apologies don’t mean a thing. -- can ask sawyer t’ let us know if he sees her -- he wants t’ hurt her and doesn’t have any affiliation, so we wouldn’t have any danger there. unless she finally gets the boot from xavier, i don’t see hear leavin’ the grounds all that often without some kinda disguise -- maybe even a different name. ” hell, jess’s fake ID still didn’t have her real name on it. “ in public, some kinda alias would be the smart move... so if she’s gotten smarter, she’s gonna be a little harder off xavier grounds -- and ya know she ain’t gonna come say ‘sorry’ t’ us anymore.  “ we can still work with xavier’s -- just gotta make sure we don’t get milo or any of the new ‘students’ involved... or even in th’ know. so... easy version: we involve sawyer, ask him t’ scope it out when he goes over t’ visit yunjin. ” as she understood it, those two had become peas in a pod. “ we let him manipulate her memories, real slow. if a memory of the first time is in there, change it t’ somethin’ real innocent. change it t’ us forgiving her. then we can just walk on the grounds, pretend t’ visit her, lead her out, and finish it. hard version: she’s gotten smarter and she’s not on the grounds as much... might have t’ make use of some ‘friends.’ ” her first thought ? january could make it so easily. but she owed january so much, she couldn’t use her. but she and jack -- they both certainly had other powerful friends... or friendly acquaintances... or so on and so forth. “ can’t let all of ‘em in on it -- probably can’t let most of them in -- but we can use them t’ get some information about her. her ‘name,’ outfits, where she goes -- all that.  advanced version’s gonna be if she’s gotten smart, thought t’ move off of the xavier grounds, and doesn’t get her memories changed th’ way they should be. don’t wanna repeat what we tried last time, but we won’t need milo. they make it easier -- they can hold it longer, get it perfect, sound just like who they’re tryin’ t’ be, but you know i can mimic someone she trusts. ” jess meet lai challenge ! “ then we got one version -- real easy, somethin’ she doesn’t deserve, but would get rid of her. all else fails, we just find her and shoot her. won’t have any serial number t’ trace it back to -- good way t’ pretend it’s the product of a real powerful organization. ” taking a moment to catch her breath after the endless rambling, she ultimately concluded: “ real easy the first time, got the chance t’ be real hard this time around. think gettin’ sawyer involved at the kinda level milo was involved in last time could be a good idea. ” a beat... “ that, or we just go for it. ”

in the grand scheme of things, jess knew little about sawyer’s ability. she knew that he worked with the mind, she knew that he worked with memories -- that was it. a blessing in the ring, a curse in the real world. expected or not ( she really didn’t know ! just as she didn’t know with so many psionics that relied on working with the mind ! ), it certainly had a degree of power if he wouldn’t even need to leave where they sat to harm her. although jack and jess’s treatment of emmeline had certainly been more involved than just harming her ( she had done that on her own -- if jack had seen the woman in the wild, she was sure he had, as well ), sawyer could incite mental warfare without moving a muscle. “ ya know, she said she was ‘only nine,’ ” jess began, a sort of preview to her memories... and a bit of expressed scorn. there had been literal children in those walls and emmeline was trying to compare her plight to theirs ? maybe there would’ve been a shred of sympathy if she hadn’t been actively contributing to it... “ what would ya think about tryin’ t’ make her think big essex ‘still loves her’ ? ” ultimately, the little time ( for now ! ) that she would let the bracelet leave her ? -- it was his choice, but making her think he loved her... that could play into a larger picture. a greater good. what would seem borderline harmless could be so much more... the fact of the matter: they weren’t done with emmeline essex. and somewhere, in the back of her mind, they weren’t done with essex. she was still walking the same halls as their own -- the vulnerable, the ones who genuinely deserved that protection. how much sawyer needed to know ? yet to be seen. he was fresh out of the house. jess’s priorities those first few months had involved staying alive... but, when he was able to skip that stage, what did that bring him to ? in any case, the morals he held when no longer in the heat of the moment... those would always be what to judge by.

“ he wants t’ warp her memories -- make her think she’s losing her mind. ” or, like... however his power worked. being thrown into the ring with him was always a bit too simple to fully understand the breadth of his ability ( #JustAlienMindThingz ). as it stood, jess had no qualms towards his desire -- he could do it from a distance, thus not threatening dani and/or milo’s standing, and the more people who deserved to exact revenge on emmeline essex... exacting revenge on her ? the better. no, her qualms came in the form of what he would need to execute it: the charm bracelet. furthermore, the unknown impact it could have ( because she always knew, even in the back of her mind, that the essex house was not finished -- jack’s presence simply brought it to the forefront, turned it to a conscious thought ). “ we got more people willing t’ engage now. ” not just herself, jack, ruby, and elliott ! “ should make it easier t’ draw her off again, but i gotta feelin’ we can’t use a mask like beverly again. ” would emmeline leave the grounds for anyone ? did she have any loyalties left ? “ might have t’ get... bolder. ”

“ i just remember never getting t’ eat my kettle-corn because he would always knock it out of my hand ! ” despite the tragedy of having no kettle-corn, it was spoken with nothing but fondness. “ what’s it like ? talkin’ t’ them ? ” had she asked cordelia before ? probably, but how many years had it been since they’d been able to... just talk ? even then, the underlying grey of it all... jess would love to fool herself into thinking copper was still kicking, and maybe she would have been able to in the state of mind that didn’t accept objective reality as objective reality. but he had been an adult dog when she left -- to imagine he was still around thirteen years later ? maybe it wasn’t absolutely impossible -- there had been stranger occurrences -- but it was certainly improbable. and what was it, what was it really, that jess wanted to know ? had cordelia had to bear the pain of hearing his dying words ? a human was one thing, but an animal... could they not both agree that that was something else entirely ? feeling cordelia interlock her pinkie around jess’s own, jess tightened that loose lock ever-so slightly. it was the perfect degree of human contact. it was a language. it was a secret. for how much she tended to speak, actions always spoke louder. and this one -- this one, minuscule, meaningless to the untrained eye... she knew her. over a decade, for all that had seemed to change, everything stayed. it was comfort. it was friendship. it was love. she took a moment to ponder -- to actually ponder -- her answer. she was, and she wasn’t. but she, really, was the least important part of the narrative: “ if we changed anything - ” - yet to be seen, hope for it to happen fading in and out - “ - then it’ll’ve been worth it. ” because kidnapping only got you so far. so lame !

perhaps the primary reason the gala should’ve been hard to forget was that whole ‘silverware assassin’ thing ( or the snow, or the cool bear guy that that kid turned into, or the general aura of it all ), but who would she be if she didn’t primarily remember it as the breeding grounds of further project: kidnap emmeline essex and chandelier heisting ? why, who knows ! “ just mo and lachlan - ” - of their original lot - “ - but i saw sawyer. he says dani’s also at xavier’s, and he knows she’s there. ” between the two of them, did the ‘she’ in question need naming ? proper grammar would suggest dani, but jess was certain jack would know who she was really referring to. “ he wants t’ hurt her. ” ...should she clear up this ‘her’ ? like, if he caught onto who ‘she’ was, then the ‘her’ in question should still carry over ? but... on the small chance he doesn’t ? it would make sawyer sound a bit... horrible ! ...no, no -- it could be fixed down the line if necessary. it had to be dramatic effect !

“ sure ! but, ya know, when it’s everywhere, ya get t’ thinkin’ ! ” - about your fish-man friend who, inexplicably, enjoys raw fish. ( was it really everywhere ? or was she just noticing it more ? ...the former was definitely more likely -- the sushi industry booming and basically taking coca-cola’s place was definitely the more logical explanation ! ) “ yeah ? ya been up t’ anything, or ya just been reading that book ? ” she asked, a question that could sound like such a drag being posed as genuine curiosity... because that’s what it was ! if he’d just been reading his book -- well, she’d have to know what it was about ! besides those good ol’ gene kelly movies ( when the hell was he gonna make a new one !? ), books had been quite the friend in essex !  “ i don’t think i’ve talked t’ you -- or anyone -- since before the interview ! ... not countin’ mo since ya gotta talk t’ them t’ see the new place. ” save for a tiff with lachlan ( which may needs to respond to <3 ) and, you know, some classic j&j kidnapping business revival ( which may also needs to respond to <3 ). “ and it’s been especially long since we talked, just us. ” ( and how provocative, how meaningful, their last one-on-one had been... or, the one before she helped him hide in an arcade -- that one didn’t count ! ) in other words ? doing her ‘catching up tour’ !