Otter Supreme

TARDIS in Winter

FUCK THIS MOVIE. I HATE THIS MOVIE. There is so much whack shit in this film:

the five sisters are KEIRA KNIGHTLEY, amy dunne, johanna mason, carey mulligan of ‘drive’, doctor who episode ‘blink’ and being the future mom of a mumford’s son fame, and the main girl from st trinians???? WHAT KIND OF WHITE PEOPLE PERFECTION their dad is president snow and their mum was vera in noted television procedural vera???? OKAY

DARCY IS 6’2

MR BINGLEY WAS OCTAVIUS IN ROME AND ALSO HAS THE CHEEKBONES OF A TOLKIEN ELF

JUDI DENCH 

this movie is just Joe Wright Period Period Piece but it is THE EPITOME OF THIS VERY SPECIFIC GENRE. HE’S NOT GONNA TOP THIS AND HE NEEDS TO STOP TRYING the panning shot of the peak district??? ‘Liz On Top Of The World’ plays in the bg it’s the ULTIMATE. 

HOT LIZARD KING WICKHAM

and okay i love how this movie shows the bennets as an actual FAMILY

like they’re messy and tactile and they talk over one another it’s so genuine

AND I LOVE THEIR HOUSE WITH THE CREEPING VINES

and okay the COSTUMES IN THIS MOVIE OH MY GODDD

everyone’s white gowns in the netherfield ball scene? YOOOOOO

honestly the production value of this movie is nuts

it’s the AESTHETIC

alright so jane austen novels are awesome and they show a lot about society and relationships in the regency era

and the thing about 2005 pride and prejudice is that it doesn’t only show the verbal sparring/tension between lizzie and darcy

but the sexual tension as well

THE SEXUAL UNDERTONES OF THIS MOVIE

OH MY GOD

IT’S SO FUCKING MUCH

like every interaction is loaded with like sexy LOOKS and body language

and like they don’t even kiss but it’s so obvious they wanna bang

THEY WANT TO BANG

SO

BAD

it’s like raw magnetism

it’s something people would write ridiculous articles in cosmo about

like that bit where darcy helps lizzie into the carriage???????

HE HELPS HER UP

(IT’S THE 1800S, PEOPLE DONT TOUCH)

she looks at him, scandalised

HE WALKS AWAY, FLEXING HIS HAND AS IF IT’S BURNING

ROMANCE

there’s this scene where lizzie and darcy are dancing in a crowded room but they’re so focused on each other the other people LITERALLY MELT AWAY

LIKE THEY’RE THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE IN THE GOD DAMN UNIVERSE

(sidebar: HER HAIR IN THIS SCENE. GOD DAMN.)

also THE TRACKING SHOT THROUGH THE PARTY OH MY GOD 

and okay, like

let’s not even GET INTO the declaration scene

after a heavy dose of SEXILY AVOIDING EACH OTHER’S GLANCES IN CHURCH the sexual tension crescendos

UNDER THE AWNING OF SOME ANCIENT RUIN

IN THE POURING RAIN

he advances; he admits his love

she REBUKES him

affronted, he insults pretty much everything about her

she responds but rebuking him again but WORSE

but the sexual tension’s still there

there’s just the noise of the rain

the air between them is so charged it could power like

a small city probably

THEY’RE SUPER CLOSE

NO TOUCHEY

AND THEN

HE LEANS FORWARD, EYES LOCKED ON HER LIPS

HE’S GONNA KISS HER

SHE WANTS HIM TO KISS HER

HE DOESN’T KISS HER

THE 

FUCKING

TENSION

I CAN’T EVEN WATCH THIS BIT HONESTLY

and she regrets it immediately after and then he DROPS OFF THE LETTER AND SHE’S JUST SITTING THERE IN SHOCK REALLY

I KNOW BABE. I KNOW

and it’s the kind of movie you can rewatch a hundred times and it’s still as amazing as the first time and you pick up all these little things you missed

it was like my 20th watch when i realised that mary is in love with mr collins

and ok THE LIVING SCULPTURES OF PEMBERLEY SCENE

all the pemberly scenes really like when they show up and lizzie sees this bomb ass house that could’ve been hers and she’s just like, ‘hahahhahahahaha i fucked up, i fucked up. i fucked up so bad im sorry, im trash’

AND WHEN SHE MEETS GEORGIANA AND SHE LOOKS AT LIZZIE AND DARCY LIKE SMIRK.EMOJI

she knows

and the scene where DARCY AND BINGLEY PRACTICE WHAT HE’S GOING TO SAY TO JANE

REGENCY SOFT BRO AF

and the scene before when the bennets rush to make themselves look presentable and it’s sooooo awkward and forced HONESTLY THEY ARE THE BEST

AND JANE AND BINGLEY LOWKEY OTP FINALLY GETTING TOGETHER

AND JANE STANDING THERE IN THE SUNBEAM LOOKING LIKE A LITERAL ANGEL AND TEARS IN HER EYES AS SHE SAYS YES

and then

DARCY

LOOKING LIKE SOME FABIO SHIT

WALING ACROSS THE MOORS

TO HER

WHAT THE HELLLLLL

THE MUSIC SWELLS

HE’S RUGGED

‘YOU MUST KNOW… SURELY YOU MUST KNOW IT WAS ALL FOR YOU’

s t o p

and lizzie is standing there with her artfully messy hair

'YOU HAVE BEWITCHED ME, BODY AND SOUL, AND I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU’

good BYE

and she kisses his hands? NOOOOOOO

THEY GONNA BANG SO MUCH

i keep this movie on every device i have in case i need an emergency pick me up

I know its a little early but

I am sorry, but I miss the normal you. Before this obsession, when we had conversations, remember? This whole ranking thing, just comparing yourself to people who only pretend to be happy.