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Pairing: Aizawa x Daughter!reader (read ALL warnings)

Word count: around 8k (This is Chapter 1 of a multi-chapter series)

Warnings: incest, nonconsensual sex, DDLG dynamics with “Daddy “ actually meaning father. Dubious consent that turns as consensual as it can be considering the circumstances? Painful virginity loss. Drug use. Intoxicated sex. Crying during sex. Unprotected sex.  Violence. Mentions of blood.  Angst with a ….happy ending? Exploration of uncomfortable emotions.

Other social media: Twitter, Gumroad, Patreon

Alright, my goal with this was to make people, even those who really like incest fics, kind of sit back and contemplate the nuances of this objectively fucked up situation and go “why do i like this *pepehands*”. Thank you @smutbardpeach for editing and @tomurasprincess @hisoknen @bakatenshii and @kazooli​ making me feel comfortable posting this and a few of you betaing. ^^

“Yeah I understand, no problem” Those were the last words J. wrote him.

As she felt empty, she recalled the way she poured her entire being in the relationship, to the point of losing her mind. She recalled the way she wanted to be seen in her whole and the way she wanted to see him in his whole too. She had wanted to receive as much as she wanted to give.

She was left there, a resigned smile and her face. Tears were threatening to roll onto her cheeks. The pain in her eyes.

The end of the chaotic, almost ten months long “relationship” she had had with this foreign man felt still unreal hours afters those last words. She couldn’t believe how much they had changed, how much they had grown apart, her mind lucide for the first time in months, she realized the long journey of healing that was to come.

She had thought about the first days too many times for them to still be sweet, they just left a bitter taste in her mouth, the false promises and the nights spent awake crying were still vivid and J. hated that, it made her want to scream her lungs out. She wanted to move on for good time because yes it wasn’t actually the first goodbye, but this time, she sweared it would be different…

She knows another “but”, what does that mean ? Is she finally gonna make a change in her life ? Is she sure that she's capable of it ?

For the past few months, life had been her worst enemy, each second she was afraid that life and its unpredictable events would ruined her long-distance “thing” with this guy, not realizing that she can’t, she’ll never and she could have never have done anything against life, that’s how it is, “C’est la vie”.

As she was rambling in her head a notification popped on her screen

“L. Liked your message”.

MOTIVATION VS SELF-DISCIPLINE

When studying, most people try to find motivation thinking that this will get them through their study session, or they will see their failure as a result of a lack of motivation. But motivation isn’t always what we need - what do you do on the days you have no motivation? This is why we need self-discipline.

MOTIVATION VS SELF DISCIPLINE

Motivation - a willingness to do something. It is the set of psychological forces that compel you to take action. A goal or reward that you look forward to that will encourage you to study - while this is useful, what happens on a day when you just don’t feel like studying?

Self-Discipline - making yourself do things you know you should do when you don’t want to. Being trained to routinely study regardless of how unmotivated you are - this is what will get you out of bed on a day you don’t feel like studying.

So if motivation is ‘why we should do something’ - self-discipline is more ‘what to do next’.

HOW TO BE SELF-DISCIPLINED

Make a commitment with yourself that you will make studying as your habit. This is super important. Commit yourself to make this as your new habit. Don’t half-ass any of these suggestions or any other suggestions that other people give. Don’t give yourself silly, illegitimate excuses in the process. For this, you can do it by remind yourself on what your long-term goals in life are. Or if they don’t sound rewarding enough, remind yourself what failure feels like/ could feel like.

Set yourself a routine and stick to it

Never have a zero day - 10 minutes is better than nothing!! Do flashcards from your bed or watch youtube ted talks if you can’t physically study. This will help help develop a routine and make it easier for you to cope. Also, by studying everyday your brain will know that the content you are learning should be stored as long-term information so this will benefit you in the long run! However I do want to stress not to force yourself if you don’t have the capacity / energy for it. Take care of yourself too.

Avoid long breaks. Unless you know that taking an hour long break means only an hour, then you can ignore this. But fo the majority of us, once we’ve taken a while out of studying it can be hard to get back into it again. One minute you’re taking a 20 minute break for a snack and some phone time and the next thing you know you’re on Youtube and four hours have passed! To avoid this, try stick to shorter breaks - five or ten minutes for a snack break, toilet break and to check any phone messages. A good method to try for this is the Pomodoro Method!

Build on your productivity, not your failures.

If you come from a past of procrastinating and now feel motivated to change and discipline yourself, do NOT try to do everything at once. Start things slow and in steps.

Set yourself smaller deadlines for your goals like monthly and weekly deadlines - e.g. if you are doing a project, due 27th June, set personal deadlines, like have the introduction written by the 8th, have your literature review written by the 15th, have project complete by the 25th. 

Break down the things that you must do into smaller, concrete activities and put those smaller activities in that to-do list; allocate specific time periods to do each smaller activities and put it the to-do list as well; set an alarm reminder for each smaller activities. Say you have to study for English on Tuesday, because for whatever reasons you just decided to dedicate your time this Tuesday to study English. However, I’d suggest that you break down that specific activity (or “daily goal”) before putting it in your to-do list. So, instead of just putting “study for Physics”, try putting “read and highlight Chapter 9″, because putting very general/broad activity like “study English” can actually make you too confused on where and how to start doing it, and make you very prone to distractions in the process. 

Know your limits. Self-discipline isn’t doing as much as you can until you break - it’s about having control, knowing what you can realistically manage and getting that done.

Give yourself rewards! I love to have something to look forward to as I get work done! This means mixing motivation and self-discipline. I tell myself after this lecture I can have an animal crossing break or check some messages etc. 

Track your progress – don’t forget to put a checklist on your to-do list after accomplishing a task. It would relieve your stress a bit and motivate you to continue doing the remaining activities on your to-do list. 

Remove distractions from your study space! Personally, if my phone is out and I notice a notification…I’m gonna check it. It’s human nature! So to combat this, I use apps like Forest that force me to stay within the app while I study. If I know I might get hungry during a study session I’ll keep a little snack by my desk so I don’t have to get up and somehow find something else to distract me.

Just do it isn’t that easy. I find to get myself in a ‘work boss’ mood I need to feel good about myself so I put on a nice outfit and maybe some eyeliner and hype myself up so I know I can do my tasks and get stuff done! It feels so much better than lazing in my pyjamas trying to study.

even if you only reblog, that’s enough

1st of February, 2021

i was debating on whether or not i should post this on tumblr but seeing as there haven’t been posts about this yet, here it is. i’m exposing my real location and nationality but it doesn’t matter.

if you have been active on twitter, you may already know #savemyanmar is trending. long story short, there has been a military coup. several nations have released statements but i want to share insight on what’s happening in the country.

memes about a coup have been circulating around for a couple days and when i slept at 2 am last night, we were still under the rule of the National League for Democracy (NLD). while they are not technically democratic, they are the closest we’ve got. when my mother woke up at 6 this morning, she was notified that the country was now under the rule of the military.

banks services are no longer available. wifi was cut at around 7-8. some people got wifi again earlier but many got it barely thirty minutes ago. this is bad for businesses especially ones that require international communications. additionally, international students like myself are experiencing anxiety; how do we pay for and attend classes if we’re not sure wifi is a given?

myanmar has a long, complicated history with military governments. the last time the military went into rule was in 1962 and only stopped in 2011, following the 2010 elections. there was a huge protest in 1988 lead by students that resulted in lots of death. during the military junta, resources like rice, water, oil, were scarce. the gist is military rule is bad for us.

all of my followers are not myanmar citizens, i’m sure but as part of the international community, please help us. here is a petition that you can sign (although i’m not sure if that can do much). there may be protests in front of myanmar embassies so look out for those. most of all, please help spread awareness. 

the people here are coping with dark humor, primarily in the form of memes but we don’t know how long this rule will last, even though the official statement said only a year. here’s something that pretty much sums up our coping mechanism:

again, even a reblog helps