I know, I know. I haven’t been around. Lately I’ve been so very busy with my job and university. This is to my 3 fans yk yk.
-this is a trigger warning, there’s indications of self-harm, suicidal thoughts and suicide. ⚠️
If you ever feel this way or suspect a friend/stranger or anyone please reach out ❤️
As always I never can name my fics but here it is..
With all these thoughts, alone in her room. Juvia sat in the corner of her room, hiding away from the rain outside her window.
“I will always be the unwanted rain woman”
Her knees tucked in towards her, her arms hiding her blue teary eyes. Gray has rejected her once again, calling her annoying and shoving himself off her clinging hug. He looked at her with disgust. She really thought things changed between them after the dragons.
“stop, I hate when you cling to me! You are so annoying sometimes juvia!”
“But Gray.. I..” she stuttered to him. A small crowd of team natsu gathering nearby
“Enough! I don’t wanna hear it”
“Juvia” Erza stepped in “I think you should leave him be for now”
“Sorry Juvia, comeback later ok?” Lucy chimed in with a smile
“Oh..” her head lowered “ok”
One step outside the guildhall is what it took to drain all of her happiness from her body.
And now all she has is herself, in her room, all alone. The soft pitta patter of water hitting the slats of the roof of her apartment bringing her into a deeper state of despair.
She sobbed in her arms. She’s not feeling herself recently, barely eating and sleeping. Not since the dragons in crocus. A silent struggle with her mind, she just needed someone to talk to. And that someone shoved all of her and her issues away from the help she was seeking, her facade breaking.
“What’s the point” she lowly whispered to her self.
Sighing into her arms.
“Do I even matter to FairyTail? To gray?… to anyone?”
“What if it was me that died in that battle? Would it matter? That vision, he shouldn’t have done that”.
“Hey, it’s raining” Wendy said with a touch of concern
“You’re right, I wonder if this is juvias doing?” Carla replied “I’m alittle worried”
The two nodded as they look back at the group.
“It seems that juvia hasn’t been herself since coming back from the grand magic games” Wendy said
“I hope she’s ok, child. we should check on her”.
“I couldn’t help but hear about juvia?” A third voice came into the conversation. “Yes Mira, we are concerned”
“I am as well, I overheard gray get angry with her, she didn’t look too good afterwards let’s go together”
A knock came to the door, snapping juvia out of her thoughts. Ignoring the voices on the other side. They only came to pity her, her pain.
“Juvia? Please open up, we just want to talk”
She dared not speak after the few minutes they were there.
She breathed a sign of relief when she heard them leave. She can’t face anyone right now, not like this. The one person she needed didn’t care.
…
How long has it been? A week? Or two? She must have gone on a long job or something? “Strange” he thought “ normally she’ll tell me?”
Walking towards the bar in the guildhall and ordering a drink “hey Mira, did juvia take a long job or something? I haven’t seen her in ages”
“No she hasn’t” she looked up at him “she hasn’t left her room for a while, I’m so worried”
“What!”
“She hasn’t spoken to anyone since the day you yelled at her”
He looked down to his drink deep in thought, stirring the ice in the glass. “Oh.”
His boots carried themselves up the steps of her apartment building, towards the welcome mat at the entrance.
A solid knock. Followed by silence.
“Juvia? It’s gray, open up”
Silence, an Erie silence Infact.
“Juvia?” Getting more annoyed “come on, why haven’t you been at the guild”
Nothing….
Taking a step further, grays hand drifted towards the locked doorknob. Activating his magic, an icey key being twisted, a click of the door making it creak open, light extinguishing the darkness of the room.
“Juvia?” He called out looking around her apartment. Circling into her bedroom, in the corner of her eyes was a slender hand on the floor peaking out from the other side of the bed.
“Juvia!!” Hurt filled his chest. He took her into his arms. Her hair falling out of place as he did so, still breathing thankfully.
…
Tired eyes met the ceiling of Polyusicas cottage, her body lay rest on a comfortable bed with warm blankets and pillows.
“Stupid humans, try not to kill yourself next time will ya”
She didn’t have the energy or the will to respond. Juvia knew she did something stupid, she couldn’t deny that. The bandages on her forearm were evidence. She couldn’t help but feel lost and alone.
She’d watch her only strength die in front of her, because of her own idiotic fantasies.
“I…” she muttered softly “I don’t deserve this kindness”
“Of course you do” the old women replied “I might not say this often but life is precious, and you deserve to be in it” she smiled at juvia, who was attempting to sit up.
“Gray? Does he know?” She whispered, looking down at her knees in attempt to not make eye contact.
“Well he was the one who found you, the boys been itching to get in here the second I kicked him out, how annoying” she scoured.
“He wants to see me? Why would he? I kill… I killed him” her bangs covered her face tears threatened to fall but she sniffled them back in somehow. A knock came to the front door, and polyusica sighed. “Again Gray, you need to leave. Juvia needs to recover”
“I know that, but I just want to see how she is!” He pleaded
“She’s fine, she just needs alittle space right now ok, stupid human!”
“ ok jeez, just please take care of her” he muttered under his breath as the old woman slammed the door shut.
“ I’ll make you some tea juvia, and then we can talk some more ok?” Juvia nodded in response. A week had passed and Juvia was pretty much back to full strength, alittle blue but ok. She had been sent home but couldn’t find the courage to go to the guild. She couldn’t face her friends yet, couldn’t face gray. At the same time gray was mustering up the courage to knock on her door. The memory of last time he did sent shivers down his spine. But ultimately he did and she opened
“Gra….”
He didn’t think, just cut her off. His hands pulled her in close and hugged her small frame, his head buried in the crook of her neck. Wet tears dropped onto her shoulder as he shook holding her tightly.
“Please… don’t leave me” he choked “I’m sorry, so sorry. Please”
