Super Promises

"No more jokes about your cooking and how fortunate it is that I'm invincible."

"I will completely understand if you fall in love with someone else because you think I'm dead, as long as you promise to tell me whether or not you had my kid when I return."

"I won't use my powers to cheat on Game Night."

"If you're taken hostage by my enemies, I'll come and rescue you, even if it's obviously a trap."

This also applies to missed family functions.

"I won't use my powers to help you unless you're asking for help."

"I promise to wait a respectable amount of time after your funeral before shacking up with your alternate universe counterpart."

*"There is no guarantee my evil self will keep this promise."

"Shape-shifters won't come between us."

“I won’t hold anything you say while brainwashed against you.”

“I swear, honey, he’s just a sidekick!”

“If my deceased spouse returns from the dead, I promise you’ll be the first to know.”