Okay so like,, you know how the One Power in the Wheel of Time is wildly bioessentialist and literally divides in two based on the user's gender?
And you know how some genderfluid people figure out their Gender Of The Day™ off vibes? Like based on how deep their voice should be for the day or what clothes feel right or their posture or w/e
Concept: a wheel of time OC who figures out their gender for the day based on what half of the One Power they can channel for the day. Like "oh I can use saidar? Cool I'm a girl" or "oh fuck neither of them today? Guess I'm agender ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"
Anyway someone more talented than me write a fic about this
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An Broad Overview By Your Local Ecology Nerd & Cartoon Fan
I am once again thinking about the ecological implications of the Steven Universe map
Now I didn't watch Steven Universe until after the movie came out, so I have no idea if this was major discussion point during the height of the SU fandom. If so, I haven't seen any of it. But I can't help but look at this map and think about on how the world of Steven Universe must look completely different from ours outside of Beach City.
I also don’t have the time or energy to trawl through the entirety of Steven Universe or its wiki for every single reference to wild animals/plants for reference (and the warp pads make global travel so easy that it's really hard to guess where in the world any given location actually is) so the only real "canon" constraint I'm following here is that North America should roughly resemble real life (as the alternate worldbuilding in Steven Universe is rarely noticeable in the day-to-day life of Steven and the rest of Beach City)
(not gonna touch the potential differences in human history because frankly I don't know enough world history to speculate. tbh I feel like I don't know enough bio and ecology to be able to tackle this question to the depth it deserves but oh well)
There are two main possibilities here:
SCENARIO 1: the SU!Earth was just like ours up until the Gems arrived circa 6000 years ago and started terraforming the planet. Gem Terraforming was responsible for ALL of the differences in the map—the crater in Siberia, the presumed relocation of Western Africa (and parts of Central Africa) onto South America, the separation of the Americas, etc etc.
To put this in context: 6000 years ago, most of the charismatic Pleistocene (Ice Age) megafauna are extinct, with a few exceptions (namely the woolly mammoths on Wrangel Island and the Caribbean ground sloths). Horses might not've been domesticated yet but dogs, pigs, cattle, sheep, goats, cats, and chickens had. The Austronesian Expansion also hasn't happened yet, so humans haven't reached most of the Pacific Islands or Madagascar. Under this assumption, the world would've been pretty similar to ours, and we can probably assume the SU!Earth's biosphere was pretty similar to ours when the terraforming happened. My major questions/concerns are:
what the FUCK is up with Greater Afro-America. Unless the gems sterilized that half of the continent before they moved it, a lot of African wildlife are now present in South America. Who knows how this is gonna change the ecosystems—for starters, elephants will probably survive and thrive, which would radically change the South American landscape. I imagine other African wildlife without South American counterparts (gorillas and baboons come to mind) would probably survive as well. As for organisms that have African/South American counterparts, I have no idea what'll happen. Maybe lions and leopards and jaguars and pumas all find slightly different niches and coexist on the same continent. Maybe the old world vultures of West Africa will outcompete and displace the South American vultures. Perhaps none of the monitor lizards survive the exchange because they can't compete with tegus. I'm not gonna listing all the interesting African-American counterparts that would occur here because it'd take all day, but I am particularly haunted by the fact that the number of large ant-eating mammals has doubled (aardvark, giant pangolin, giant anteater, and giant armadillo) and the number of mid-sized arboreal ant-eating mammals has jumped from ~3 to 5 (anteaters vs pangolins, but treating the silky anteater as one species instead of a species complex).
The map in the screenshot doesn't show topography, which raises the question of whether smashing West Africa into South America created a mountain range in the Smash Zone, or if the Gems combined the two landmasses in way that didn't create a new mountain range (a pickup-and-drop strategy, perhaps). Regardless, I'm really concerned about South America's ecosystems. Did you know that the Amazon Rainforest is heavily dependent on windblown dust from the Sahara for nutrients? I doubt that system would remain unchanged even without a hypothetical mountain range on the eastern border of the Amazon.
North and South America are no longer connected, which is absolutely gonna fuck up the marine ecosystems. If we assume a reversal of what happened when the Isthmus of Panama first formed, the Pacific Coast of South America would warm up and the Caribbean would see a big influx of nutrients. Very real possibility that manatees would've spread to the Pacific Coast. Coldwater species on the Pacific coast like seals, sea lions, and Galapagos Penguins might've disappeared.
The removal of West Africa also leaves the Mediterranean a lot less isolated than it used to be—which will almost certainly cause a whole lot of extinctions. (Normally) the Mediterranean's only connection to the Atlantic is the Strait of Gibraltar, a tiny chokepoint that cuts it off from most of the Atlantic's business. Reconnecting the Mediterranean to Atlantic currents and tidal action will certainly fuck things up, but I frankly don't know enough about the Mediterranean to have any idea of what the specifics would look like
The massive fuck-off crater in Siberia really intrigues me because the only body of saltwater it's connected to is the Arctic, and I doubt most Arctic species would be able to colonize the warmer southern regions of what I'm calling the Siberian Sea. Without an obvious place of origin, I imagine it would be colonized by a random mix of adaptable Arctic species (like Harbor Seals and porpoises), salt-tolerant freshwater Siberian fauna (like sturgeons and Baikal Seals), and whatever saltwater species hitchhike a ride on migrating birds.
Not to mention how the crater would affect terrestrial ecosystems. The Central Asian Migratory Flyway is gonna get massively fucked up. I would not be surprised if the creation of the Siberian Sea somehow destroys the rest of the Eurasia's steppes, taiga, and tundra through the some type of large-scale disruption of climate cause-and-effects. Even if that doesn't happen, any species with a pan-Siberian distribution will be split into western and eastern populations.
What's up with the new archipelago(s) in the South Atlantic? They don't seem to line up with the Mid-Atlantic Ridge, maybe they split off of West Africa when it got moved? Maybe the gems just dumped the leftovers from some other terraforming project at a different part of the planet? I genuinely have no idea what to expect here, but whatever ecosystem emerges here will probably be unusually impoverished for an island ecosystem on account of being only 6000 years old. It would probably stifle any Atlantic-Antarctic ocean currents, though
SCENARIO 2: The other explanation for this weird map is that at least some of these difference predate the Gems' terraforming efforts. This is probably a less likely explanation IMO, but it's also where the speculation gets really fun! I have no idea how and when these changes would've occurred, but we're probably working on the scale of tens millions of years at minimum, which gives plenty of time for life to adapt to these changes, so here goes!
To start, a lot of the previously addressed points are gonna have some major impacts. The Mediterranean is a lot more exposed to the Atlantic and would probably look completely different. The geographic changes to South America and Africa would probably mess up the distribution of rainforest and grassland habitats. Of particular interest to me is that the Siberian Sea would've stifled a lot of faunal and floral migrations between western Eurasia and the combined eastern Siberian/North American region, assuming it's deep enough that it doesn't periodically dry out like the Mediterranean and Bering Seas did. This would probably have massive repercussions throughout the Cenozoic—the Holarctic as we know it probably wouldn't exist without a continuous swathe of terrestrial habitat across the Northern Hemisphere. But TBH, the no-longer-called-West-Africa and Siberian Crater issues are such major changes to Earth's actual geography that I have a hard time reconciling them as anything but the result of Gem terraforming.
Even aside from those, a lot of the "smaller" changes on the map (which wouldn't cause too many differences if they only changed 6000 years ago) are gonna cause some major differences if they're old enough to predate the Gems.
The new archipelago in the South Atlantic! If this is a relatively recent island chain created by an alternate version of the Mid-Atlantic ridge, its wildlife might be vaguely similar wildlife to those of other South Atlantic islands like St. Helena and Ascension Island. Rails are inevitable. Alternatively, it might've bfffffeen colonized by wildlife that rafted across the sea from Africa. Monkeys, rodents, and tortoises got to South America this way, so maybe this archipelago is inhabited by giant tortoises and not-capybaras in addition to whatever flightless birds end up there. I wouldn't be surprised if the island ends up with its own ratite, since those flew to every other major Gondwanan landmass before they evolved flightlessness.
Alternatively, the new archipelago could be an old remnant of Gondwana, in which case it'll probably have a fascinating assemblage of relict taxa in addition to whatever rafts its way from Africa. Whatever reptiles or amphibians can deal with the colder climate will certainly be weird and unique. The flora will probably be roughly similar to that of Aussie/NZ/SouthAmerica (Nothofagus and such). It probably has a lot of weird metatherians and marsupials too, maybe some weirdo crocs if we're lucky. I'm imagining a fauna with predatory sparassodont-like metatherians, and a megaherbivore guild consisting of giant tortoises, ratites, big marsupials, and endemic hystricognath rodents of various sizes; maybe even monkeys! Non-therian mammals like monotremes, multituberculates, and/or gondwanatheres probably held on until the rafters arrived in the Eocene and might've included the last surviving members of their groups, but probably didn't survive to the modern day
New Guinea is a lot further away from Australia than it is in real life. In scenario A, the southern half of New Guinea was probably an unfortunate casualty of Gem Terraforming but in this timeline I'm gonna assume that the Australian Plate/greater Australian continent was just shaped differently. With the increased distance between Australia and the Southeast Asian archipelago, I doubt there'd be any substantial interchange between Asian and Australian wildlife. New Guinea would be part of the Indomalayan Realm instead of the Australasian—no cassowarries, no echidnas, and no tree-kangaroos in New Guinea. Perhaps rodents (including the "Old Endemic" Hydromyini) never make it to Australia, and their niches are instead filled by a family of possums or bandicoots.
Speaking of Australia, the Western half looks like it's isolated from the rest of the continent by sea, and will probably have a lot of unique species not found in the Eastern half. Two species of emu (western and eastern) perhaps? I don't know enough (any) Australian geography to know if Western Australia would still be mostly desert. They were probably connected during the Ice Ages, though, but if that's enough time for the SE Asian island wildlife to speciate, it's certainly enough for the Australias to do so.
The southern third of the Indian Continent is an island! This could mean that Southern India never collided with mainland Asia, but the island's proximity to mainland India makes me think it's more likely a New Guinea/Sahul situation, where the island connects to the mainland during the Ice Ages. The Western Ghats are already a biodiversity hotspot that houses a lot of relict lineages from the days of Gondwana, so if insular South India remained separate from the mainland most of the Cenozoic it probably retained even more unique wildlife.
There are a couple other minor details—the Greater Antilles archipelago in the Caribbean appears to be a single island, The Philippines are really close to Borneo, Sardinia and Corsica are once again a single island (or perhaps never disconnected)—that might just be due to the limitations of drawing a map for a kids cartoon, and thus might not reflect actual differences.
And saving best for last:
South America still isn't connected to North America! I am a big fan of South America's native Cenozoic fauna, so this is absolutely huge for me. I'm actually splitting this part off into a whole 'nother post because I have that many thoughts on the hypothetical ecosystems that would evolve on an alternate, isolated South America and I want to skim a few more papers to make sure I'm up-to-date on my understanding
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Goddamn, life is sit. Why is everything so terrible all the time?
I had my first couples therapy session in a long while with my former best friend, and jesus fucking christ i don't always realize just how hurtful he can be.
i said in session that the last couple of months while we haven't been doing therapy, i've grown increasingly frustrated with how little effort he's putting into our relationship, and how the last few weeks we haven't seen each other at all because i grew curious what he'd do if i stopped initiating and he just never fucking reached out
when the therapist asked how he felt about this, you know what his fucking response was?
that he feels resigned. that hearing this is adding another thing to his to do list, something else he just has to check off
I'M A FUCKING CHECKBOX TO HIM
he used to be my best friend
i could talk to him about anything
and THIS is what he has to say about this??
what the actual. goddamn. fuck.
i want to punch him.
i felt like i cgot punched in the face
and i don't know what to do
i didnt even mean to bring any of this up in our first session back. it was supposed to be an easy "how have you been these last coupel of months?" and i wasn't supposed to say anything about any of this
but no, i just had to go and be honest
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
and everything he said aggravated me
that it's easier to give me distance than try to figure out what boundaries i want? BITCH WE ESTABLISHED BOUNDARIES. I JUST WANTED TO KEEP DOING THAT. WHEN I DO ASK ABOUT BOUNDARIES YOU DON'T FOLLOW UP
"you mentioned wanting to spend the night regularly but then didn't bring it up again so i didn't ask"
DIDN'T ASK?
boundaries are a two way fucking street. you can't complain about me not setting boundaries and then refuse to communicate with me you absolute fucking cunt
i'm so mad
i'm so frustrated
it makes me want to give up almost
almost.
almost almost almost.
ugh it would be so much easier if i could just give up on my relationships, but despite it all I WANT to heal our relationship. i WANT him to be my best friend again. i just want him to get the stick out from his own ass, or just SEE me as a real person
not a tool, not as a "member of his community" or whatever the fuck
as a person
sigh
i love him. i love him so much. i want him in my life. i want to play board games and hand out and spend the night and cook for him and hear about his book and talk about worldbuilding and cuddle and care for each other
but i just need him to do the same for me. to be there in the ways that i show up for him instead of just saying "it's easier to keep my distance" and do nothing
is it easier to keep your distance? is it really? or is it easier to just take and never give back. if you're going to insist on keeping your distance, maybe you shouldn't take me up on my offers of taking care of you? why is it easy to keep your distance when i need you but you're perfectly willing to break that rule when it's the other way around
i just
i just want you to try
i want you to care about me
i want you to put in the work
i want to be more than another item on your list
i want to be your best friend
because despite it all, in my heart, you're still mine
It's alright Dalinar, babe, he got this.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
image description:
A loosely scribbled and coloured comic page with several panels in four rows of the scene in Words of Radiance in which Kaladin joins the duel in the arena. The background in the panels is painetd very patchily implying the seats of the arena with half roofs offering shadow from the sun above.
The first row has two panels, on the left we see an agitaed Dalinar, in his blue uniform with gold and white trimmings, as he leans forward, hands on the wall of the dueling pit in front of him, calling out "What happened to us?", "Where is our honor?". A smaller speechbubble to the side contains the words "Honor is dead". The panel to the right depicts Dalinar looking to the side to see who gave that cynical commentary. Kaladin stands there not far behind him, also in captain's uniform holding his spear and looking very grim.
The next row has two smaller and on medium sized panel, they all show Kaladin from the side in profile – as Dalinar would see him. He inhales like he is fortifying himself for what comes next. On the exhale he looks down into the arena with mix of resignation and determination and utters the words "But I'll see what I can do." The speechbubble for it is already in the next panel, in which Kaladin is gazing towards us with a mournful expression as he says "If this goes poorly, take care of my men."
The third and fourth row are both each one long horizontal panel. The third row shows Kaladin as he vaults himself over the wall in the foreground. Dalinar stares at him seeming very shocked.
The panel in the last row is a top down view into the arena. Kaladin stands in front of six people, four of them Shardbearers in full plate all now turning towards him. On the far left is Relis in his black plate holding a big shardblade. Adolin kneels next to him in the sand of the arena holding his broken shoulder. To his right stand Elis with a shardhammer in a grey plate, then Adrobar in a orange one with a blade. Further to the right is Jakamav in his green plate and the king's blade, Renarin standing blade- and plateless next to him.
I've been on estrogen for 3.5 months now and the ONLY difference that I've noticed is that I've started growing tits
So now I'm just a man with tits
Which is,, an ostensibly less attractive man
And I already didn't feel particularly attractive before, but now I feel less attractive than I used to as a man, and I feel outright ugly if viewed through the lens that I'm a woman
I don't think I want to quit E but I don't know what I do want
The last, possibly only time I've ever truly felt hot was when I dated my ex back in September '22. It's not my partner's FAULT that they're demisexual but it means they're literally incapable of making me feel attractive because I know that they're only attracted to me because of their emotional attachment to me
FUCK
Maybe hooking up with someone would help but I HAVE NO WAY TO DO THAT
I have no desire to pursue a hookup with someone I don't think is attractive, which means the vast majority of horny posts on lex being from people without profile pics are all off the table
A lot of the other ones are from people I don't personally find attractive
Sometimes I do get people off lex in my DMs but then you run into the fact that they don't actually know what I look like
Only my face in makeup and nothing else
So then do I make my own lex post? But what if I don't get any responses that would be terrible
Do I make a dating app account? Absolutely the fuck not I look like a man which means dating apps would just be an exercise in experiencing rejection which I absolutely would not be able to handle right now
So then all that's left is meeting people organically except I'm a fucking coward who can't strike up conversations with strangers and I LOOK LIKE A MAN and men don't get hit on
FUCK
I hate this I hate me I hate everything I don't know what I want fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I wish estrogen did more
Instead all it does is give me tits, make me self conscious about my appearance, and make me increasingly terrified of hiding my identity from all the people in my life I'm not out to yet
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At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there's a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.
Man behind me having unhinged phone conversation. There is an internationally famous dairy in the area I was visiting and he was commissioned by the lady on the other end of the phone to collect specific cheeses from there. The lady is very high strung about the type and condition of the cheese.
The man does not know from cheese. The man "ain't never seen no cheese but orange before" and "I showed ya list to the cheese lady so if it's wrong it's her fault ok?"
I am 80% sure she sent him there for a really specific bleu cheese, 40% sure he does not have the very specific bleu cheese, and 100% sure he's done with her shit.
Our flight is delayed.
He does not have the cheeses in a cooler, just a regular backpack.
I need to emphasize that there is no cooler bag in the backpack. He has Jansport backpack that is jam-packed with cheeses. There is apparently $405 dollars worth of cheeses in that backpack, which I know because he has been trying to get the lady to venmo him the expense, which she has failed to do. It is unclear whether his relation to the lady is romantic, familial or what, but I'm leaning towards "what".
Two more people have joined us. One is a very elegant man with a perfect manicure in a tailored business suit, the other is a neon-haired person of indeterminate gender wearing a fox kirigumi. The Shiba Inu has been staring at the latter for three minutes now.
Cheese man has been demanding payment because apparently he went like six hours out of his way and paid with his own money and between the cheese and price of gas, he is pretty sure he does not have enough money in his account for an Uber home.
The lady is FLABBERGASTED that he is demanding payment at all, as she was under the impression he was doing this for her out of the goodness of his heart.
He's not having it. He's insisting she told him she would pay him back- he would have gotten her maybe one cheese somewhere closer to his business in the area out of love, but he went out of his way because she agreed to pay him costs+ extra to cover it.
"YOU ALWAYS DO THIS! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS AND I FALL FOR IT EVERY TIME! NO! NO! FUCK YOU! IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA PAY ME, YOU DON'T GET FANCY CHEESE."
"OR ELSE WHAT?"
"I'm gonna-? THE BABY SHOWER? MONICA CAN'T EVEN HAVE THIS CHEESE SHE'S PREGNANT!"
"The cheese lady asked if it was for someone because the mushrooms or whatever in the cheese are dangerous for the baby or something?? You wanna poison Monica?"
"WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THAT?"
"YEAH OF COURSE I GOT THE CHEESE, THATS WHY I DON'T GOT MONEY FOR UBER!"
"YEAH, GO TELL! GO TELL MOMMA I STOPPED YOUR STUPID ASS FROM KILLING MONICA OR THE BABY! FUCK!"
*hangs up phone*
*head in hands, borderline hyperventilating*
The man in the three piece suit is in the chair next to him. He waits a moment, then reaches into his carryon and pulls out an entire bottle of wine with the TSA pre check sticker on it, and taps cheese guy on the shoulder.
"If your friend doesn't want it, would you be amenable to having it right now?"
1. This is some fucking great Camembert. I have compensated cheese guy accordingly. So have like six other people. He's recouped like half his losses.
2. Cheese guy is crying a little about the cash and opening up about his problems. The cheese lady is his younger sister. Suit guy is being very generous with his Pinot Blanc. We are having a picnic/improv family therapy session.
3. This is apparently the latest in a long string of his sister asking for something and then flaking when he asks to be paid back. Started with paying him back only some of what he was owed, then claiming something she paid for him was of equal value when it was not, then recently telling him his memory is wrong and he said it was a gift or that he'd do it for free.
"Yeah, the specific thing of trying to convince you your memory is unreliable is called gaslighting and it's really fucked up." I say
"yeeeeah. The other stuff I forgave because she's never really had a good job so she can't pay me back all the time but at least she was making an effort y'know? But that was. That was over the line."
"If you haven't already, check on the rest of your family's finances. My brother started trying to gaslight everyone when he started stealing from our parents." Says Pinot Blanc.
4. Shiba Inu Lady has purchased a cheddar. Apparently, the dog's name is Donut, and he's her service dog because she's severely visually impaired.
"Oh, he's a guide dog?" Asks cheese guy.
"oh, no." She laughs. "He's too short, and the way my eyes are, it's easier for me to navigate with a cane. No, the problem I have is that some morally impaired people see the cane and think they can get away with stealing my bag or assaulting me because I wouldn't be able to give a description- which is wrong, but rather than deal with that I got Donut, and he helps me by howling at anyone who gets in my personal space and biting anyone who grabs me!"
"Uh." Says Kirigumi. "He's been staring at me do I need to back up or..?"
"Ohdear! No, no- He wasn't looking at you! He loves cheese but he knows he's not supposed to beg so he decided the way to deal with something he wants but can't have is to stare in the other direction."
"OKAY!" Says Kirigumi. "I'm wearing fox pajamas and thought like. He thought I was another dog or something."
"No, no- he doesn't care about dogs, and you get a warning before he goes for the calves. Very helpful, when I was living in Italy!"
"Oh what part? I have family in Tuscany." Says Pinot.
"Does he want a cheese? There is still so much cheese." Says cheese guy.
1. Cheese guy has sold all but two or three cheeses that he an Pinot are going to eat on the flight.
2. I know they're planning to continue because Pinot talked to the gate agent so he and cheese guy can sit together and talk about family drama and cheese.
3. Pinot has been teaching him about different types of cheese and how to enjoy them.
4. Cheese guy apparently repairs computers and other technology devices for a living and is currently doing the software version of scraping barnacles and other crap off Pinot'macbook.
5. Pinot is now convinced that cheese guy is the smartest and most interesting man in the world.
Ok so the Wifi wasn't working on the plane (also like, nonstop turbulence) and also they got seated in a different row from me, but:
Now that I've heard the word aloud, and they are an astrophysicist. Who correctly believes in being comfy as fuck on planes. They are also familar with the concept of a meet-cute and is rooting for them too.
Got to walk the nice lady and her Tactical Assault Shiba to her next gate because it was on the way out and talk for a bit. Donut is called that not because he is the color of a Donut (which he is) but because he likes to sleep curled up in a perfect circle. He has a sister who does the same thing named Bagel.
Lost track of Pinot and Cheeseguy for a bit but when I saw them again at Baggage claim, Cheeseguy was holding both their jackets, and Pinot was on the phone to his hotel about "Well do you have any rooms with TWO beds?". The rest of the call indicated that yes, there were rooms with two beds, but Readers, I Had A Moment.
:)
Anyway, it's 2AM, I need to sleep, if you feel like supporting this kind of hard-hitting reporting, I have a Tip Jar!
I don't know where I'm planning on going with this but I haven't written in my diary in a few months so I might as well, y'know?
I'm currently sitting at a wine tasting with my family and I mean I hate alcohol so I've got nothing better to do so let's chat.
Where do I even start?
I think being with my family I just,, have no idea how to feel
Yesterday my mom lectured me for not making an effort in growing my relationship with my brother but I don't WANT to
I don't dislike him, I really don't. But there's a difference between "not disliking" and wanting to have a relationship. I don't think me not wanting to respond to his snaps or his texts means that I dislike the guy, just that I don't care
He abused me as a child. So much of my emotional suppression and trust issues stem from the guy. He's changed now, but why would I want to be close to him?
He's never apologized
He's never even acknowledged it
Sigh, I just have no desire to sit the guy down and be like, "hey, you ever think about how terrible you were to me when we were kids? Yeah, that fucked me up real bad and now I don't particularly want to be friends with you"
THAT'S ROUGH TO BRING UP
also to be like "and our parents didn't care or do anything about it so I don't feel comfortable telling them anything. Throw in the whole trans wrench and I feel like that should explain why I keep our family at an arm's length"
Sigh
I don't know what to do
I think it's hilarious how every one of my friends hates my brother and I'm just like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I think I need to tell him eventually, or get over it, but I don't want to do either of those
Idk
Anyway let's talk about my body image issues?
I can't eat
I don't want to eat
I hate my belly, and I feel fat. I don't think I actually am but that's how I feel. And every time I eat anything I feel so fucking guilty
But I know I need to eat! I want to eat! And it's fucking terrible and I hate everything
And that's not even touching on the queerness
I WISH I LOOKED LIKE A GIRL
I wish people clocked me as queer
I wish I had clothes I felt good in
I wish I had dyed hair and tattoos
But instead I'm just here and I hate myself and it's all terrible
Why am I even on hrt
I don't deserve hrt
I'm not good enough
I need to voice train and get clothes and wear makeup and fix everything
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
And that's not even touching on my hangups about my social life, wherein I want more friends
But I also want to hook up with people and have an active sex life
But I also want to know what my future holds
Why is everything terrible
I just want to die it'll make everything so much easier
Sigh
That's it for now, who knows if I'll say anything more later ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Charlie: "Ever wonder if everything is better in Heaven? The ice cream, the cookies, the sprinkles..."
Vaggie: "Definitely not the company."
Charlie: "Hmm. Do you think the kissing is better??"
Vaggie: "Than this? No."
Charlie: "It'd kinda make sense if it was-"
Vaggie: "It's not."
Charlie: "Aww Vaggie~ Are you just saying that because you can't imagine anything better than kissing me~?"
Vaggie: (sweats in im-actually-an-angel-but-also-gay-and-a-shit-liar)
Vaggie: "Uh..."
Charlie: "??"
Vaggie: (panics in how-do-i-answer-without-saying-used-to-be-a-murder-angel-up-in-heaven)
Vaggie: "....nothing is better than kissing you, Charlie."
Charlie: "AWWWW!" (smooches gf)
-vaggie later, alone with spear-
Vaggie: "That's one truth bullet dodged. Just the... whole rest of our lives together spent lying to her to go. I'm really earning my place in Hell now, huh?"
Her Spear: (is a spear)
Vaggie: "I could tell her about the Exorcist thing. I could live with her hating me..."
Her Spear: (is a spear)
Vaggie: "Yeah no I couldn't."
Vaggie: "No it's not just because she's a phenomenal kisser shut up."
The thing about Jonathan Sims is that he isn’t at all stupid, in fact he’s quite the opposite.
Take the Coffin for example, the idea of using an anchor is a logical and honestly quite clever one, however, where this idea falls apart is that while Jon may be intelligent, that does not mean he has common sense, or any sense of self preservation for that matter, and so he goes straight to cutting off his finger, and then continuously trying to cut it off despite the fact his body’s healing factor is clearly winning here.
And then, to top that off, he immediately decides the next reasonable choice of an anchor is his own rib, and actively gets not one, but two of his ribs removed by the walking embodiment of body horror.
Jonathan Sims is not stupid, but he is stupidly impulsive and should not be trusted with any actual plan ever, because while his initial idea may be the most ingenious thing you’ve ever bloody heard, I promise you he is going to ruin it with the most unhinged, god-awful follow up known to man.
You can never have a one-on-one conversation with your hate boyfriend without beating the shit of each other and destroying all nearby buildings within a 100m radius
I spent a ridiculous amount of time on this, so I hope you guys like it!! I don’t do proper lineart like this much, so there was a bit of a learning curve. Theres a couple lil references I stuck in the bg, see if u can spot some! Some are a bit more noticeable than others… :-)
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