Clark must be having a laugh, Bruce thought as he spied the picnic blanket in the loft. There was no way that blanket was there for any other reason. None.
Now, Bruce wasn’t a snob. He’d slummed it with the homeless, with thieves, murderers and God knows what else, and he knew if he put up a fuss here, in the middle of Smallville, Kal was going to take one look at him and think, boy, what a mistake I’ve made.
They had come to Smallville as a sort of reprieve from their vigilante lives. Well, Bruce had got seven hells kicked out of him and Alfred ordered him to rest was more accurate. But it stood to reason that they had come here for a relaxing time, not romance in a barn. If he had wanted that he would have bent over the first day they came here and told Kal to have at it.
“Oh,” he heard behind him, turning to find Kal sheepishly rubbing his neck. “You found it huh? I was gonna surprise you.”
Bruce cut to the chase, “What is this?”
Clark blinked, and it was so hard to stay mad at him in Smallville. He had that whole cowboy thing going on, and Bruce didn’t know it was one of his kinks before but by god his brain was helping him catch up the longer they stayed here. Plaid, worn jeans and his accent had thickened the moment they stepped foot on Smallville earth. Damn him.
“A date.” And there was that accent, even thicker thsn when they landed now. Bruce could feel his aching legs tingle. “You know, since we’ve never actually had one. I wanna do this right Bruce.”
Stay strong, he ordered himself. For all Bruce knew Kal was fully aware of his affect on Bruce and was manipulating him into getting his own way.
Still, they really hadn’t had that first date. Bruce would be lying if he didn’t admit he too wanted to do things right. But, “No. Not here.”
There. There was that look he was talking about. The one where Kal was unsure whether Bruce really did like him. After all, Smallville was a part of Kal’s identity. He probably thought Bruce was just in it for Superman now like the rest of them.
“Fine,” Kal agreed all too easy. “We’ll do it in Gotham. You can choose when and where. If we even have one.”
He didn’t want to say it. There was always the chance they would already be listening, already be here just waiting to attack. Besides, telling Kal the real reason they couldn’t have a date here could spark an even bigger argument. He didn’t want that, the shouting would definitely draw their attention.
Kal took his hands, his alien smooth skin so soft against Bruce’s own. “B, I want to date you. I want to be with you. But you’re always making excuses and i know you have good reason, hell I make excuses too. But we’re here, with time on our hands. Can’t we just take advantage of fate right now instead of letting it go to waste?”
Damn Kal. Damn his plaid, and his accent and his stupid beautiful eyes. Damn all of him. “Fine.”
Bruce was on edge the moment he sat down. Clark had no such worries, sitting there pulling out a pucket of strawberries he’d picked fresh this morning. He was so cute, sitting there prouder than Bruce had ever seen him as he told Bruce about his adventures getting all of them just for their date.
Bruce tried to enjoy himself. Kal actually made it easy too. But Bruce was a cursed man, so it was only right when he finally let his guard down to enjoy himself all hell broke loose.
He felt himself seize up. The apocalypse was here and his name was Jason. Bruce had never experienced himself freezing up once since taking up the cowl, and yet, here he was, on a date and unable to move because fear had him.
It was like some kind of horror movie. He heard Jason creak slowly up the steps, thump, thump, thump, until there he was, right in front of Bruce with his judgy thirteen year old eyes.
“Ma says I gotta let Clark be there if I wanna drive the tractor."
For a moment, Bruce wasn’t sure Jason was processing what he was seeing in front of him. His arms were swaying as he waited for Clark, he even stole a strawberry. But the cogs turned and soon Bruce had a wide eyed Jason switching his gaze back and forth between Clark and Bruce.
The end started with an, "I knew it!”
Bruce hung his head. “Yes, okay Jason.”
Clark, just as freaked out as Jason, but in his case not having a clue what was going on, tried to mediate. “Look, Jay. Bruce is an adult. I’m not taking advantage of him or pressuring-”
“It’s not that,” Bruce sighed as he bucked up and faced Jason. “Okay, you were right. Are you happy? Can you leave so we can clean up?”
“Uh uh,” Jason shook his head, a satisfied smile on his face. “No way old man. I want that money upfront now. No stalling so you can retract later.”
Bruce sighed again, but did dip down into his sweats to pull out s twenty. “Happy?”
“Yep.” Jason had the audacity to skip off.
“Remember when you came around the other day,” Bruce did. It had been after an awry mission. Clark hadn’t waited until the next JL meeting to see Bruce, and quite frankly Bruce didn’t sent him away when Clark came flying in. One night of beds creaking and sweaty bodies swearing later, “Jason may have heard us, and I’ve been implementing a no swearing rule at the manor. Since he didn’t know about us I thought I could claim plausible deniability.”
“Is that why you didn’t want the date?”
“He’s a smart kid. He’s probably going to be staking out and tallying up whenever you’re over now. Why couldn’t you have waited until we were at home?”
Clark laughed, a full on belly laugh that had him doubled over. “I can’t believe you almost put our first date on hold to save a twenty.”
