hi i know you aren't active and probably won't read this but your vibes are i m m a c u l a t e and even though i don't know you or your experiences you give me hope that ill grow and heal from things... and it'll be better when i grow up :^) i hope you and your loved ones are safe and healthy this new year.
I read it anon :’)
Always growing and always healing, things will get better!! Sending you so many love vibes rn, I hope you can feel them, wherever you are
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Wow okay so it has been 2 years (almost 3)?? I feel like Tumblr is a very different place now and 3 years a lot of time so if you’re wondering who the fuck this even is popping up on your timeline I FULLY understand SCROLL ON MY FRIEND
If you’d like to continue reading an extremely long and jumbled stream of consciousness, keep goin under the cut
I’ve been wanting to post an update like this for a while, but it’s been really hard for me to sit down and write something because of how disconnected I am at this point to the Haikyuu community, and how guilty I was feeling for just sort of..leaving abruptly? But I signed into my account recently and realized that after being inactive for years I was still getting the kindest, most warm hearted messages- not just about art, but people saying they missed me popping up on their feed, that wherever I was, they hoped I was doing well, or that I was happy, and folks just checking in and genuinely concerned and wondering if I was okay. I also realized that it was pretty uncool of me to just sort of peace out like that without an explanation, so I thought I owed you all at least that much.
*Things are about to get a little sad here (just a warning, in case you’re not feeling up for that)*
Basically, around the time I left, a very close childhood friend of mine passed away in a very tragic and unexpected accident. She was like a sister to me, someone who was always there and was always supposed to be there- we grew up together, shared so many first experiences side by side, and of course we annoyed the shit out of each other to no end. She was supposed to be there for my other firsts, but now I have to do them alone. Losing her broke me like nothing I’ve ever felt in my entire life. The pain was both terrifying and debilitating, and I had to take a break from EVERYTHING for a while. I went backpacking for a month in the woods with a couple of friends to get away, no service or anything, completely detached from everything and days of just walking, eating, sleeping, and being in nature. It was very healing. And I guess I never really came back.
This blog was a safe and happy escape for me, a place to just have some laughs and fun, and that’s what I wanted it to be for everyone else. My life on social media was always pretty separate from my real life (though y’all got a weird ol chunk of that in the tags), but this especially had no place on my account. I didn’t want to bring something so unpleasant and painful into my safe space, but that resulted me in completely abandoning this blog altogether since that loss is something I’m still learning to cope with.
I am finally feeling ready now so I’m here to say: I am okay!! I’m still picking myself back up, but I’ve come such a long way. I’ve been seeing a therapist for almost 2 years now who’s helped me deal with not only the grief of losing my friend but making sense of past traumas I’ve experienced and teaching me to learn how and why I’m feeling the things that I do. I’m still the same fucking weirdo with maybe a bit more emotional depth. I’m now a full-time freelance animator and illustrator, and currently thinking about making the jump into comics!! And you know what, I don’t think any of that would have happened had it not been for the wonderful experience I’ve had on here.
Concerning the future of this account and contents: I guess it goes without saying but Full Eyes Full Hearts is officially being discontinued- thank you for the love and support for this comic, even if it was short lived. I know how frustrating it is to become invested in a story only for it to be discontinued, so I am sorry for those of you who were so looking forward to it. But here is a big
*SPOILER ALERT*
They love each other. They always loved each other. WHAT A TWIST THAT IS HUH I BET YOU DID NOT SEE THAT ONE COMING??????
*END OF EXTREMELY HUGE SURPRISING SPOILER*
I have no current plans to return to this account, but as Justin Bieber once said, “never say never.” Who knows, maybe someday I’ll get back into haikyuu (I heard my BOYY came back in some of the latest chapters and if there is oikawa content to consume I WILL consume it), maybe I’ll join another fandom? Maybe this brief resurfacing will awaken the tumblr child inside of me. Even I don’t know. For now though, I’ll be doin my own thing, working on my own projects and maybe one day you’ll find my work again!
I’ll also be popping in and out in the next week or so in case anybody has any questions or comments or wants to talk, ANYTHING
The world is wild right now, so I also just want to send some love to everyone. Things are not always happy, and that’s okay. Something that my friend taught me that I hold dear to this day is that: it’s important to laugh, and play, and cry when you’re sad, and just enjoy all the bad and good the world has to offer you. Because feeling means that you're alive.
I cannot thank everyone enough for the love and support you’ve given for me and my art, my mutuals for being there to inspire me and teach me and push me to do more, honestly I would not be where I was today without any of that. I never took art seriously until I realized how much I enjoyed it on here. Maybe that sounds silly to some people that Tumblr Dot Com changed the course of my life, but it really did.
HAAAAA HEEEEEEEEEY uhh so like always i disappeared and randomly am reappearing for a hot sec to say:
I am doing AMAZINGLY WONDERFUL and am very happy but also a busy bee and have neglected this poor little blog, i just finished up an incredible internship, moved, and im jumping right into a backpacking trip with some homies that will take about a month or less so i will be back then!
and also as always, i am blown away by the sweet messages people leave me here on and off anon, you guys are really the most lovely people you know that? thank you
(some more under the cut)
luv u 2 bbgrill ( ˘ ³˘ )♥
i considered changing up my style a bit and drawing noses like this fucking pokemon on everyone for a while but i guess i’ll reconsider
...or will i
...oh
im so happy you enjoyed them!! wow that was so long ago, unfortunately i don’t think im ever going back there
but goddamn if anybody else wants to do it i wanna see it
fuuuuuUUUCK this was so sweet and then i fucking ruined everything and disappeared again for 84 years
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Are you going to update your iwaoi comic anytime soon? I can't wait, it's so good!! ♥
hey THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!
sorry for the lack of activity on this blog the past couple of months, ive been working on an animated short (which is finally finished thank the sweet baby jesus🙏 🎉 🙏 🎉 🙏 🎉 🙏 🎉 🙏), and i just started an internship at a studio, so i have been A LITTLE BUSY AND MY SOUL HAS NOT RESTED IN EONS this is actually the ghost of my former self writing this
all really exciting stuff!! but i really really am looking forward to getting back to doin some personal art and the comic is one of those things im excited to return to! I can’t say when the next update will be, since id like to get a little adjusted at my internship, but im hoping within the next couple of weeks it’ll happen!!
in the meantime, here is an inspirational quote i found written in a filthy bathroom stall of a bar that has carried me through the days. i hope it will do the same for you.
whats up motherfukkers ive been a bit busy with some projects that are now finally done, and ill be away for a few days on a nice little camping adventure but then i will hopefully be back with some updates!!
and here are some anons:
i cant believe you would fukkig swear on ALL of your spicey spaghetts for this little nug???????? nobody’s ever done that for me i cant believe this is happening :’)
i like to think we all have a little iwaoi inside of us but im so honored to be the one to rip it out of your fucking rib cage, you are so welcome, thank you for having those feelings
thank you! fuck me too
im laughing im imagining someone just blankly staring at their screen and screaming at the top of their lungs for a hot sec until abruptly stopping and continuing to scroll on in silence on as though nothing ever happened
so r u
if i stopped this comic because somebody told me iwaizumi looked like brock in a panel that would be the most dramatic thing ive ever done in my life
i havent responded to this message in so long that brandon is still a subject, brandon was like 500 years ago, and im not sure if he really was a lucky guy in fact i think him being placed in a lyft with me was the opposite actually but im glad u would think that
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I just read your post about the person who said Iwa looks like Brock and I have to clarify this immediately: you're not canceling the comic for reals are you? *high key panicking*
listen here i never joke around, i am 100% SERIOUS ALL THE TIME DID I FUCKING STUTTER
…but wait
incredible.
the brock/minion comic will resume tomorrow everyone, i have it queued and ready to blow
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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somebody said iwaizumi looked like brock in the last page and i aM SO FURIOUS BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT WRONG, BUT WHAT IS YOUR DAMAGE LIKE WHY DO YALL HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING WITH YOUR ASTUTE OBSERVATIONS??
now im thinking of the other person who said small oikawa looked like a minion so this has become a Brock/Minion love story in my head and that is NOT OKAY, I AM CANCELING THE COMIC BEFORE ANYBODY GETS HURT
(i answered your GODDAMN ASKS UNDER THE CUT GOODBYE FOREVER)
i think brandon wanted to get out of the cab ASAP but his friend was enjoying the show for sure so at least somebody was having a good time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
im so happy the updates make you light up, whether it’s the art or the tags- so long as you’re laughing and thinking of iwas abs, i feel i have succeeded
man i am so happy Brandon’s prostate is finally getting the the attention it needs and deserves
i think it’s more crazy that i get these really nice messages that make me feel 10/10, you are The Best 100/100 thank you!!
HEY listen 2 me my amigos i am so not cool/neat its not even funny (its HILARIOUS) the majority of the time im living i feel like im starring in a comedy about my life falling apart or like, the comic relief character of a horror film that’s killed in the first 15 minutes of the movie maybe
anyway, thank you for enjoying my art and thinking im cool, i bet both of you are way cool and neat!! (also i dont have an insta but feel free to talk to me here or on twitter, i am pathetically harmless, you have nothing to fear)
im sorry i havent really been reading that many iwaoi fics lately! i did make a little fic recommendation list 500 years ago (not all are iwaoi, but all are AMAZING) that you can find here!