poetry.txt

I’m a deflated balloon that is too hard to pop,

You are a magnet

That my eyes are attracted to

And as I draw closer 

Did we ever have control

When all that we did was set out on the yellow brick road?

Where the wicked witch watched our every step

As we skipped joyfully towards the future:

you say you’ll wait for

me and my mind to heal

but I don’t think there is much healing to be done,

Thoughts rattle across the roads of my mind

Sticking to my brain like melted tar on a hot day.

Slowly consuming everything,

after hearing rejection for years

her heart still sinks like 

an anchor

Your arm reached towards the coffin

as the realisation sets that he is leaving you

and this is the final goodbye.

The tears start to flow

until they shake your body

as an earthquake uproots a tree

that desperately clings to the ground.

You weren’t ready to see him go

Nor were you ready for this pain

So you continue to grasp the air in which he had resided

We spent every day together,

until another captured your heart

and held it like a child tenderly cradles a kitten.

I didn’t see you anymore after that,

and I was all alone again.

grateful: one word that

is not uttered enough in 

Let me bend your will to mine

As a river is curved by the banks.

Follow me across the world

Like a bird in search of the sun.

Devote yourself to me 

And I’ll be your god if you’ll be my apostle.

I only ask you one thing:

Do not deny me.

Does she live under my bed?

Amongst the empty suitcases and the forgotten memories from childhood?

Or does she live in my desk drawer?

Alongside unused notebooks and the promise of tomorrow? Inbetween the old gum wrappers and the unused pens? 

Is she in my old school bag?

With discarded lunchboxes and notes from my friends? Underneath the unmarked assignments and average report cards?

I don’t know if I’ll ever find her.

Nothing ever feels as good,

As coming back after what feels like months

And falling into your bed,

Inhaling the smell with a sigh of content.

how do I listen to myself?

what do I like?

what do I want?

after all these years in institutions,

I don’t know who I am 

anymore.

we circle around each other

getting closer

and further,

closer and further

but never together.

I skip past photos of myself

because I don’t want 

to see

what I’ve become.

I’m the center of my own universe,

without me, you wouldn’t exist.

You would just be a part of someone else’s reality.