Welcome To My Disaster

“BEHOLD THE PROCRASTINATOR!”

*empty area*

You pass by a small crowd of hungry children, and decide you’d rather 455 apples go rotten than give them to some snotty brat who isn’t your problem.

It doesn’t matter how hard you’ve worked for your 500 apples, or that you aren’t the parent of any of those kids. in the moment you decide to walk away, it doesn’t matter why they’re hungry, or who owes who what.

You had the opportunity to help people, you had the ability to help people, you had the resources to help people. You had everything you needed to make a small, tiny little difference in someone’s life, and you decided not to.

And I’ve seen lots of posts about how she pulls out the “I can do what I want” paper, but I wanted to highlight some other things about the scene that I found absolutely hilarious:

She’s actively working on something else on her tablet as the trial is beginning.

She doesn’t have a lawyer or anything. It’s just her alone at the defense table

She immediately and continuously requests to end the trial so she can leave (and interrupts both the Plaintiff and the Judge to do so)

After being denied a few times, she just gets up and leaves anyway. When they try to stop her she’s just like “I literally have the entire US army under my command, you have no way to make me stay here.”

Your sun is dimming and it's bad

You are in a lab with an interstellar sample

It's alive. First contact.

You wake up from a coma

This is not your sun

Blip-A. It's a goddamn spaceship

First contact 2.0. That's two alien species in less than a decade of perceived time.

It's an intelligent species and wants to be your roommate so bad

It would also die for you.

Turns out, you're willing to die for it too

Oh, first contact 3.0 btw: Taumoeba edition. You save two worlds.

You have gone full circle and after a healthy bout of scurvy you are a teacher again. Finally.

can someone explain what he's talking about i got distracted by his giant jiggling honkers badonkers

Rocky chose a hand to match Grace's scar!

clearing the air . . .

bonus:

additional note: gotta give some flowers while I’m here. if you’re interested in something similar to my biodome neighbors au, @hana-loves-bumblebees coincidentally made a similar fic series: How to introduce your humans, a guide by (mostly) Adrian the Eridian. recommend checking it out if you want more : )

mysterious next door neighbors~

bonus:

i’m projecting my periods cramps onto them

look up recipes (especially snack recipes) that are child/toddler/baby-friendly