Sunset Selfies

When my neighbor invited my balloon dog over for a play date with his pet porcupine, I just had a bad feeling about the whole thing.

After all the garbage Trump's been spewing this week, I tried to think of something to help him clear his head.

My neighbor is coming over tonight. When he heard I found an unusual ring in the lake, he was really excited to take a closer look. Should be fun.

"What's the tie for?" I asked the giraffe. "Hot date?" "We'll see," he said. "I'm taking Sonia to the café." "Sonia? From the town office?" "Yeah. So what? She's nice." "She's tiny." The giraffe looked away, annoyed. "Trust me. When you have a five-foot neck, everyone's tiny."

Some of my friends just don't know how to enjoy the moment.

After struggling through the soft beach sand, visiting dozens of potential new home sites, I was sick of pushing the wheelbarrow around. "What about right here?" I asked hopefully. The Sand Monster shook his head. "Not quite," he said. "Let's keep looking."

After the four year olds stopped screaming, The Great Johntini was informed, in no uncertain terms, that he would NOT be the guest magician at little Timmy's lakeside birthday party next year.

Fruit bats. Fruit flies. Whatever they are, they were swarming last night.

"So, don't take this the wrong way, but before I can consider you for the position I have to ask: What makes you so great?"

Why is there always a grizzly bear in the way when you want to gallop?

"Can we share the blanket?" the snowman asked. Which is when I realized: It's really starting to get cold here on the island.

“I’d watch my ankles if I were you, Stretch,” the swordfish replied before disappearing into the water.

Clearly not a big fan of sunsets, the little penguin was restless. "Can we go get some sardines NOW?" he asked for the twenty-fifth time.

For anyone who has ever wondered if their horse would make a good kayak partner...I wouldn't count on it. Mine didn't pick up his paddle once.

When the grizzly bear said he had a frog in his throat, I didn't know I'd need to reach in and rescue it.

A little behind the scenes look at the making of a Sunset Selfie. 

I was about to tell the waiter about the big fly in my soup when my date cleared her throat. "Are you gonna eat that?" she asked.