So the past month my health has been declining quite a bit, it isn’t that (TM) that is hurting so many people, but a lot of symptoms I couldn’t figure out. I had to get my blood scanned recently to figure it out. 

I found out I had serious deficiency and high levels in a few areas in a vitamin and also just some numbers were a bit high, resulting in the certain changes to both mood, motivation, and inability to sleep, remember things well, and eat, not to mention immense stress manifesting in panic attacks I couldn’t understand.

It explains why I’ve been crying  so much when I’m not even a crier, and also despite being cheery for the past few months, I really have been fighting a battle with everything alone. Honestly right now writing this I feel like crying, I feel like my health hasn’t been giving me a reprieve in months and I Just Didn’t Want To Talk Or Burden Anyone About It so I’ve kept quiet as I tried to figure it out. 

I’m going to slowly adjust to vitamins and medicine that will fill in and balance out the shift in chemical changes / B-12, one of them that I’ve lost serious amounts of ( which actually directly affects the brain and nervous system which is probably why I’ve been having such a HARD time writing and straight up functioning outside my adulting in life / errands / chores / livelihood. )

I’m honestly so frustrated but I understand that my health is ultimately so much more important than writing right now, hence why I’m sparse especially when my body deficiencies have resulted in temporary memory loss as an example of wow bad time to write! due to my body being so utterly weak, but I’m actually going to recover everything 

it’s just..Tanjiro is my main blog and most crucial to me I resonate with him personally, he’s my favorite character in anything, and I don’t want to half-heartedly do a thing, I want to give him my utmost and right now? I can’t.

I can’t answer my relationship asks with the meta I want. I can’t get to my threads. I can barely be social at all, I’m only talking to like...one or two people and even then I’m sure I forget half of what people are saying or am withholding from a few messages because I just don’t know What To Say(TM). I’m kind of in tears because I haven’t been able to write in so long much less really enjoy anything to even pass time and I’m suffering a lot. It takes a lot which is what is going on right now, for me to even admit I am suffering. 

So for the next few weeks all I can ask for is your patience as I try to recover and mend my body, and know that Tanjiro is not going anywhere. I will be keeping up with maybe tagging others in memes + gifs + aesthetics, but I don’t think much if any writing will be done until I can regain myself health-wise. I really mean and intend to get to all of you and I hope you stay, but I understand if my inactivity makes me seem like I’m never coming back. Even so, I still have to focus on me, and I’m horrible really at prioritizing myself. Hopefully within the month I will be back to writing my favorite character that so many of us love and finishing out my inbox / threads or at least starting on them, but I will not put a timer on myself when I feel so terrible and I’m in such a condition that’s not mega serious, but it is hardly healthy.

If you read this, thank you so much, and whatever you do, I’m happy you’re here or I’ve met you and I wish you nothing but a good July as we keep getting through it.