Chemical Kid

This site is ruining kids lives because lonely 14 year olds are going to school thinking “This popular 22 year old maoist satire blogger who got a shoutout from dril once said my weird communist text post was funny, that means im funny” and suddenly they cant connect with anyone their age because pleb humor is below them and theyre brainstorming USSR puns during math class and now they cant do basic algebra

brown eyes are warm and beautiful and deserve more recognition

*cries uncontrollably* 

Awwww

These are legit the moments you remember. I remember all 4.

im crying a lil bit

I need this in my tumblr forever.

is anyone gonna talk about how his kids name is bacon???

HE’S WITH SUZIE THAT WAS MY CHILDHOOD OTP

who names their kid bacon

Calvin and Hobbes were Reformation-era philosophers, as was Frances Bacon. I’m better his daughter’s name is actually Frances, but he calls her by the appropriate last name of the philosopher, just as Calvin and Hobbes are last names.

is no one gonna talk about how the girls afraid of Donald Trump in her closet

I think we’re all afraid of Donald Trump in our closet

The holy trinity

remember when there was a rumor abt Bree Newsome being a former stripper for some reason and instead of being a whorephobic dick she was like “lol I’m not that cool sorry” but you are sis, you are

Bree Newsome is a role model 😍😍😍

tumblr culture in 2012: touch my butt and buy me pizza tumblr culture now: choke me and hit me with your car

mood: wanting sex with u

i don’t get it omg

who the fuck is party cannon they’re the true rebels here

fun fact: my parents got married on april fools day so when i was 7 i tried to be funny and i made them an anniversary card that said ‘your marriage is a joke’ and my mom cried

I'd rather go down on my girl for 3 hours straight than have her fake a single orgasm.

Perks of dating me: You will always be the good-looking one

Especially someone you alluded you were fearful of.

I hope he contacted lyft and got his racist ass fired