i am full of complex, horny emotions @summercurial - Tumblr Blog

Went to a vaginoplasty consultation today and they showed me a bunch of the results pictures on an iPad. They kind of freak me out but its literally normal for straight girls to be freaked out by vaginas.... At some point he's gonna ask me preference questions and idk how I'm gonna answer. Like. "Please give a normal one"? Realism....? Verisimilitude

summercurial

@no-sharks-on-the-sun said:

Bringing a council of straight guys to your vaginaplasty for consultation purposes

the thing is. there just definitely is a statistically optimal pussy style choice. yknow based on the distribution of straight dude preferences. i suppose it could be prone to fashions... anyway. i guess i should do some research before my next appt...

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Went to a vaginoplasty consultation today and they showed me a bunch of the results pictures on an iPad. They kind of freak me out but its literally normal for straight girls to be freaked out by vaginas.... At some point he's gonna ask me preference questions and idk how I'm gonna answer. Like. "Please give a normal one"? Realism....? Verisimilitude

i'm sorry. i truly didn't mean to be condescending. i was trying to be supportive i didn't phrase that thought well or consider how my tone would come across.

Don't worry abt it...

you can't be a nietzschean boymoder. you have to pick

summercurial

anyway. anna karenina is a very gender-essentialist text in a way that is definitely making me crazier

summercurial

@kata4a said:

i think the russian novels are kind of supposed to make you a little crazy. i mean idk i haven't read any of them

i think anna karenina is actually sort of supposed to cruelly enforce normalcy and conventionality. and has thus driven me crazy as someone excluded from it

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summercurial

alienation from normative womanhood is an extremely common cis experience too, including many gender conforming cis women. it probably feels more marked if you're trans because trans women also have to deal with the fact their womanhood isn't just criticized but also socially contested, but the idea of a single unified cis womanhood is a cultural collective hallucination and not a real map of individual experience.

and because social media is great at producing a false impression of consensus--even insane opinions can exist at high absolute numbers and filtering effects can cause us to get a misleading impression of base rates--and people aren't always giving us a fully honest or objective self portrayal, you should seriously consider twitter may be giving you a distorted view of what it's like to be a cis woman. especially if you're ending up interacting a lot with the corners of twitter i suspect you are.

this pair of asks is very condescending. do not send me asks like this

summercurial

and its not even condescending in a hot way! its nice girl condescension!

anyway. anna karenina is a very gender-essentialist text in a way that is definitely making me crazier

alienation from normative womanhood is an extremely common cis experience too, including many gender conforming cis women. it probably feels more marked if you're trans because trans women also have to deal with the fact their womanhood isn't just criticized but also socially contested, but the idea of a single unified cis womanhood is a cultural collective hallucination and not a real map of individual experience.

and because social media is great at producing a false impression of consensus--even insane opinions can exist at high absolute numbers and filtering effects can cause us to get a misleading impression of base rates--and people aren't always giving us a fully honest or objective self portrayal, you should seriously consider twitter may be giving you a distorted view of what it's like to be a cis woman. especially if you're ending up interacting a lot with the corners of twitter i suspect you are.

this pair of asks is very condescending. do not send me asks like this

#woulda just silently blocked but its not an impossible this is a moot or something trying to be nice

I think I used to kind of like that I was a girl with a dick and now I don't. I think possibly because I was more like. Isolated from the culture at large. Like not that anyone's said anything. I mean actually some people have said some things. But I'm just like. Idk. Twitter has probably made it worse. Like not directly but just by making the figure of the normal cisgender woman much more vivid in my mind. It's so much cooler being the kind of Trans girl who doesn't mind that she's Trans, I kind of wish I could go back... I'm so much more aware of my transness these days. I used to forget that I was Trans!

vintage-sweden

Hollowing a tree trunk with a chainsaw, 1959, Sweden.

#this would be so cute....

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Dudes who know how much I like praise are often pretty sparing with it. Which is SORT OF its mechanism of action but it's SORT OF because they hate me and want me to suffer...

re: getting beaten, what about your dom suggesting that taking pain well is your special talent/comparative advantage and so you're wasting your potential if you aren't routinely being injured?

It's just too silly....I don't want to be hurt for abstract reasons.....

It's weird because like. I am a masochist but I don't rly like the idea of someone hurting me for my pleasure. It's like

Guy likes hurting girls. He hurts me and tells me how good Im being (straightforward. By far the most common)

Non sadist for its own sake but enjoys my (physical) reaction to pain

Non sadist but enjoys my (mental) reaction to pain. I think I basically couldn't do this one before developing the brat ability but now that I have it theres potential here

Non sadist but enjoys the marks that a painful act leaves...

I mean there have to be more but I can't think of any

how into trans women who like to be men in bed are you?

Hmm....I don't REALLY know what this means. It SEEMS bad tho? It does not sound appealing. I mean I've fucked eggs and that wasn't appealing but that's not really what you mean.....

If I was into girls I would be getting a truly insane amt of tail here. OK I mean not that much. But I would be getting laid regularly. Certainly. No one knows my struggle

i am literally sexually normal now. they gave me the surgery that makes you normal. im normal. okay if i post in the next three hours shoot me with a gun

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its really fun and nice to think about boys a lot. i think i have not been getting enough boy exposure in nyc... boy withdrawal. my "affective memory" is really weak, i always feel like how i feel is how ill always feel. good and bad! but anyway i think it means its easy to forget or at least underplays pleasures ihavent had in a while. imlike that post about how people with adhd cant miss people (altho ofc. i very much can miss people). god i need to stop navel gazing and do work

human-pet-they

COME ONNN

#the sad eyes are literally the point...

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i am full of complex, horny emotions