and suddenly, spring.

    it’s simple fare, really –– just some toast and an omelette with chickpeas and onions, a sprig of parsley on top for good measure. beside it sits cucumber slices she’d painstakingly curved and tucked into the shape of a rose ( it had taken her a good fifteen minutes of fiddling before she’d gotten it right ). armed with a steaming mug of tea, she makes her way down the halls with haste –– waking up to breakfast in bed would be a good start to a birthday, wouldn’t it ?

maybe  she  does  read  minds .    ❝    of  course !    my  mother  used  to  paint  all  sorts  of  flora  &  i’m  told  i  do  take  after  her .    ❞    will  always  relish  a  chance  to  honour  her  memory,   smile  radiant  at  the  thought .    &  on  what  better  skin  to  immortalize  another  of  her  pieces .

❝    &  just  where  would  you  like  me  to  ink  it ?   ❞

❝    depends   ——   i  might  more  inclined  to  agree  if  you  were  to  allow  me  to  pick  just  what  i’ll  ink .    i  am  more  so  the  expert .    a  rose  for  rosie,    perhaps ?    ❞

been dealing with a myriad of things, including but not limited to: 

having zero stability in all aspects of my future and no way of making or working towards making anything stable

having no control over where i’ll end up should certain goverment agencies decide to boot myself and my family out of australia after almost 3 years of silence, because as much as my parents have options, i don’t (unless i want to go back to a country that’s slowly eating itself alive), and that’s my own damn fault for not knowing enough and doing more while i could’ve

taking care of people around me and keeping my parents sane during this entire process while trying not to lose my shit so much it’s cause for concern/ notice

consequently, gradually losing hope that even just one thing will look up for me so this shitstorm of a life actually has some semblance of meaning

work, because continuous manual labour is the best distraction from all of the above^ and if a customer is yelling at me for something or another at least i have a reason to feel like shit

i’m exhausted physically mentally emotionally most days bc of ^^^ and though it might be a good coping mechanism to get myself out of my own head and get into the psyche of someone else, i just. do not have the energy. i’m already cracking as it is and im trying my best but i just cannot find it in me to care rn